A Heart of Stone
by Smashmo
Summary: *AU* Kate loses another person very close to her and must figure out how to go on. She meets a very kind stranger who means more to her than he'll ever know. When he saves the day, a beautiful new friendship is formed.
1. Chapter 1

******ATTENTION READERS: ****I will be "overhauling" this story over the next month or two. I was looking over my chapters today and noticed a LOT of spelling and grammar mistakes. I will be taking the time to go back through and correct any mistakes that I catch. Please be patient with me, especially if you are a new reader. You will probably read these a lot faster than I can go through them to fix them. Thanks for your love and attention!**

**A/N: **Okay, so I'm supposed to be finishing my other Castle story, **All She's Ever ****Wanted** but this story came to me and I cannot for the life of me, get it out of my head. This one is a little different than what I usually do; firstly because I already have quite a few chapters written. I usually write as I go. Secondly, this is a completely AU story, which I rarely, if ever, do. It's also written from the perspective of a narrator.

**Rating: **I'm going with **K+** for now, as death is a pretty heavy theme.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Castle or any of its characters. They all belong to Andrew Marlowe and ABC studios. I just like to play with them and make them do what I want sometimes!

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><p>Kate Beckett pushed the door to her apartment open with one hand and walked in slowly. She shifted the sleeping child on her hip and looked around the empty room. She closed the door, put her keys on the table and walked down the halway.<p>

Entering a bedroom, she turned on the bedside lamp and lay her daughter, Olivia, down on the pink and green bedspread. She pulled off two small black shoes, black tights, black hair clips and finally pulled the small black dress over the sleeping girl's head. She grabbed a night gown from a drawer and gently pulled it over the dark brown waves of Olivia's head.

Kate tucked her in, kissed her cheek, and turned off the light as left the room. She walked aimlessly to her bedroom and slowly stripped off her own black clothing. She moved as if in a daze; feeling nothing and everything at once.

She pulled on one of his old t-shirts and slipped into bed. Before she knew it, she had dozed off. Nightmares haunted her sleep and she soon shot up in bed, sweat pouring from her brow. Her heart raced and she panted hard, unable to draw a full breath. She looked to her left and reached out to feel the cold, un-rumpled sheet.

Picking up his pillow, she cradled it between her arms and willed herself back to sleep. She wouldn't be any good to Olivia if she didn't get some sleep. As her eyes drifted shut, the ring on her left hand sparkled in the moonlight. She sighed and allowed a single tear to drip down her cheek.

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><p>Kate woke slowly, but was startled when she opened her eyes to find her four-year-old daughter staring at her with wide green eyes. He had always said she was Kate's twin, though she did have his chestnut brown hair.<p>

"Hi baby." She said softly. Olivia only blinked.

"What are you doing?" Olivia blinked again but climbed up into the bed.

"Where's Daddy?" Kate felt her blood run cold.

"I thought we talked about this." She felt a lump rise in her throat and grasped at the strings of her composure. When she was met with another blank stare, Kate swallowed back her tears and sighed.

"Liv, Daddy went to be in Heaven, with Grandma." Recognition finally ghosted across the girl's face and her eyes sloped down as sadness filled her.

"He's not coming home?" Olivia said, more than asked.

Kate felt the semblance of calm she had adopted slipping away. She looked away from the yearning face of the only thing she had left of her husband and cleared her throat. When the treacherous tears slipped down her face, Olivia scooted closer and held her mother's hand.

"No, Liv. Daddy's not coming home. He isn't alive anymore."

"What's alive?" Kate smiled at her daughter's inquiry, searching her mind for a definition that would mean something to her baby.

Finding something adequate, she grabbed Olivia's hand and placed it against her own chest, just above her heart. Olivia looked at Kate curiously, but did not pull away.

"Feel that, sweetpea?" Olivia nodded. Kate picked up the small hand and placed it on its owner's chest. Olivia giggled as her mother held her hand steady.

"And you feel that, inside of you?" Olivia nodded again.

"That's our hearts beating. That means you are alive. Daddy's heart isn't beating anymore."

Olivia nodded and brought her hand back to Kate's chest. Several moments of silence passed. Olivia sniffled and it was only then that Kate looked down and realized the girl was crying. Wrapping her arms around her child, Kate brought Olivia to her chest. Olivia wrapped her small arms around her mom and let loose the sobs of understanding that only a small child can have.

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><p>The phone ringing brought Kate out of sleep. Olivia was sprawled halfway on Kate and she only had to lift an arm and a leg to be free of Olivia's grasp. She reached for the phone and cleared her throat before answering.<p>

"Beckett" her tone was surprisingly authoritative.

"Katie, it's your dad." There was a brief silence as Kate fumbled for words.

"Listen, I know you probably don't want to talk, but I'm going to be on your side of town later today. Do you mind if I stop by for a little while?"

"Dad…" Kate protested, feeling at once defensive and grateful for her father's concern.

"No Katie. I want to make sure you and Liv got settled back in okay. And that you're eating and showering." Kate couldn't help but chuckle at her father's comment and felt herself nodding, though her father could not see her.

"Fine. I've taken a few weeks off from work and Olivia won't be going to pre-school. I'm sure she'd love to see you."

They worked out the rest of the details and Kate heaved herself out of bed to get ready for the day. Although she'd only been home for a few hours, she didn't want her father to think she'd become a remiss parent. She showered quickly and pulled on a pair of yoga pants and one of her husband's old sweatshirts.

She saw that Olivia was still fast asleep and went to tidy the living room and Olivia's bedroom. As she was walking through the house, she saw his coffee cup in the sink and felt herself start to lose it. Just then, Olivia walked into the kitchen and wrapped her arms around her mother's leg. Kate blinked and sniffed.

"You ready for a bath, pretty girl?" Kate tried to sound cheerful; she needed to be present for her daughter. She knew what it was like when the parent left behind checked out.

Scooping the girl up, she lifted Olivia high in the air, making airplane noises. Olivia laughed and giggled, begging Kate to do it again. They entered the bathroom and Kate gave Olivia a quick bath. Kate dressed her in sweatpants and a long sleeved t-shirt and pulled her messy wet hair up into a ponytail.

"Guess what." Kate said, distracting Olivia as she attempted to brush her own teeth.

"What?" She said through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Pop is coming over." Olivia's eyes lit up at her mother's words and her hand moved furiously to finish her task.

Rinsing her mouth, she jumped off of her stool and ran out of the bathroom. Kate chuckled and cleaned up the mess left behind. She was busy in her duties when the doorbell rang, causing her to jump.

"Pop is here, Mommy!" Olivia chirped gleefully.

Kate shuffled to the door and let Jim Beckett in. His arms were overloaded with grocery bags and Kate struggled to help ease his burden. Meanwhile, Olivia was at their feet, weaving in and out, jumping up and down.

"Pop! Guess what!" Olivia squealed.

"I don't have to go to school today. Or tomorrow. Or the next day after that!" Her smile was broad and Kate couldn't help but admire her daughter's ability to compartmentalize.

"That's terrific Liv! Why don't you go read some books while Mommy and I unload the groceries and make some lunch, okay?" Jim reached into one of the bags, producing two picture books. Olivia squealed again and snatched the books from his hand, tearing off into the living room.

"How ya doing, Katie?" Jim asked, leveling her with his signature 'dad' look. She felt a wave of nausea rise in her stomach and took a calming breath before speaking.

"I'm not okay. But I have to be; for Olivia, you know?" Jim nodded and reached out to pull Kate into his arms.

She stiffened only momentarily before relaxing into her father's warmth. She felt the onslaught of tears and this time, she did nothing to stop the sobs that followed.

"I know it doesn't seem this way, but everything is going to be alright." Jim's voice was punctuated with gasps for breaths and hiccups of calming sobs.

Jim knew words alone couldn't heal his daughter's pain, so he rubbed his hand across her back and held her until her breathing had slowed and the hand clenched in the fabric of his shirt relaxed. He pushed her back gently, rubbing away the tear stains and pushing her hair out of her face.

"Everything is going to be okay."

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><p><strong>AN:** So...what do you think. Before you decide to hate me and torch my house, let me post the next chapter in a few days. I guarantee it's not what you think! I will be posting very soon, so that I'm not leaving you hanging.

Much love, and thanks for reading.

Ash


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Hello lovely readers. Here is the next installment of the story. I'm overwhelmed with the support of this fic, thank you all who are following this story and all who have put me on author alert. What I'd like to see now, is for you all to review. I have been slacking on this story and on my other (**All She's Ever ****Wanted**)...I'm usually much better at replying to each and every review. Please enjoy. As always, any and all mistakes are entirely my own.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Castle or its characters. The glory and love should be directed to Andrew Marlowe.

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><p>Over a month had passed and Kate and Olivia were finding a new norm. Kate could hardly admit her reality without breaking down, but her husband was dead and she had to move on.<p>

It made her feel low and guilty, but the pain she was feeling over her husband and the father of her only child, did not feel as sharp and gut wrenching as what she had felt when she lost her mother. She knew that it was probably just because this loss compounded on the other; learning pain over one person's death was no different than carrying the pain for two. But she couldn't help but think it was because she hadn't loved him with her whole heart.

She had loved him plenty…he was the father of her only child, the man she had spent the last five years with. But truth be told, his absence wasn't something new. He had been a salesman and was rarely ever home. He traveled more than could be good for someone and Kate had been positive that he was cheating on her with at least one other woman; possibly more. She guarded herself so that she didn't end up hurt, like in so many of her previous relationships.

But if she were completely honest with herself, she hadn't been entirely committed to the marriage. After all, she had kept her own last name and insisted that Olivia take hers as well. Her husband had been too quick to acquiesce both times, and that should have been her clue that he wasn't all in either.

Although she'd been married, in her husband's frequent absence, she had learned to live life without a partner. She'd learned how to flourish at being a single parent. What little reliance she had once had on her husband, had been replaced with righteous independence. Kate didn't need help from anyone and the only people she needed were her daughter and her father.

Her heart hurt most for Olivia; though the girl seemed to be getting along just fine. Sure, she seemed a little sadder than usual; a little more introverted. But Kate couldn't blame her with how strange their existence had been for the past few weeks. The girl, who was so sweet and quick to make conversation with anything living, had been quiet and prone to tears. Olivia hadn't spent much time around her father, but Kate knew she too was feeling the loss of him.

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><p>"Liv, sweetie, time to get up." Kate said softly, opening the curtains in her daughter's room.<p>

The tiny girl sat up and sleepily rubbed her eyes. She smiled sweetly at her mother before reaching out her arms. Kate grinned and obliged, gently lifting Olivia from the bed.

"How about we go to the playground today?" Olivia's face lit up. "We haven't been in a while, huh?" Olivia giggled as Kate tickled her chin.

"May I pick out my clothes today, Mommy? Please?" Kate couldn't help but smile at the impeccable manners of her four-year-old as she walked toward the door. Kate was a fairly polite person and her husband had been also, but she was baffled as to where Olivia's etiquette had come from.

"Of course you may!" Kate paused and turned around.

"Why don't you go ahead and get dressed, use the bathroom, wash your hands and meet me in the kitchen." Olivia nodded as she pulled her pajama top over her head.

Kate headed to the kitchen and began making eggs and toast for the two of them. Several minutes later, Olivia came racing down the hall with a bow and brush in hand.

"Mommy, will you please help me with my hair?" Kate smiled and leaned down to scoop Olivia up. Kate quickly pulled the small girl's hair up into a ponytail and added the bow.

The Beckett girls ate their breakfast and put on coats and shoes before they headed down into the early autumn wind. Kate lifted Olivia into Kate's black, police issued SUV. Olivia dutifully strapped herself into her booster seat as Kate rounded the car. Kate engaged the engine and immediately turned on the heater. It was unseasonably chilly and she wanted to make sure her daughter warmed up before playing outside. She also cranked up the stereo and sang along, eliciting giggles of delight from Olivia.

After a short drive, Kate parked the SUV and helped Olivia climb out. Olivia was humming with excited energy and although Olivia knew the rules, Kate felt it necessary to remind her.

"No running, stay where I can see and hear you, don't talk to adults you don't know and be respectful to others and the playground."

Olivia nodded and pat her mother on the leg. She was too polite to roll her eyes, but Kate mused that she probably wanted to. Olivia walked away from Kate and turned around a few paces later to follow Kate's movements to a nearby bench. When she'd memorized her mother's position, the girl skipped down the sidewalk and began playing with a group of slightly older children.

Kate enjoyed the cool breeze that whipped through her hair and let the cold numb her aching heart. As absent as her husband had been, she truly had loved him and missed him dearly now. She allowed herself to zone out only for a moment before she heard the sound of her daughter crying. But the cry coming from her baby's mouth was unlike any cry she'd ever heard.

Panic swept through Kate as her eyes scanned the busy playground. Her mind memorized the faces of every adult and she only briefly registered a tall man helping her child off the ground. She jumped up and ran to Olivia, horrified with what she saw.

Blood poured from Olivia's chin and seeped through the hands of the man assisting her. Bewildered, Kate looked up and saw the kind lines of the handsome man's face. She saw worry sweep across his face and wrinkle his brow. His dark hair blew in the wind and his striking blue eyes rooted her to the spot.

"Are you her mother?" The man asked after what felt like hours, but was probably only seconds. She nodded mutely and grasped Olivia around the back, unwrapping her scarf from her neck and holding it to the gash on the girl's chin.

"She was walking behind the swings and one of the kids had just jumped on and was swinging backward when his foot hit her, knocking her to the ground. She bit it pretty hard on the concrete." Worry still creased his forehead and Kate wondered fleetingly why this beautiful man was just hanging out at a playground.

"My daughter is just over there…the one with red hair." He seemingly read her mind as he replied to her unvoiced question.

Kate could barely speak; much less acknowledge the reason for his presence. She struggled with what to do next; her daughter had never had a serious injury before.

"Why don't I drive you to the hospital? It looks like she's going to need a few stitches." Kate felt herself nodding as she picked up a still sobbing Olivia and handed the man her keys. As she led the way to the car, she heard the man call to his daughter and the girl came running to their sides.

A flurry of questions ensued and Kate would have chuckled at the girl's curiosity had she not been entirely preoccupied with her bleeding child. Reaching the car, Kate carefully loaded Olivia into the car and climbed in beside the girl's booster seat. The man and his daughter got in the car and they began their drive to the hospital. After a few moments, Olivia's crying had subsided and she shuddered as the leftover hiccups shook her shoulders.

Kate finally allowed herself to look up and caught the eyes of the kind man in the mirror. She smiled slightly, embarrassed that she'd panicked so severely.

"I'm Rick Castle." He said, as an introduction and Kate felt a tingle of familiarity run through her.

"This cutie over here is my daughter Alexis." Alexis turned around in the front seat and looked Kate in the eye.

"I'm eight. But my daddy says I'm smart enough to be ten!" Kate smiled at the girl and looked to her own daughter.

"I'm Kate and this little sweetie is my baby Olivia." Alexis and Rick smiled a remarkably similar smile. Alexis turned in her seat a little more, so she could make eye contact with Olivia.

"I'm sorry you hurt your chin. I once had to get stitches in my knee, and they really aren't so bad. They give you some medicine that makes it go numb. Then you don't feel it at all!"

Kate was grateful for the friendly chatter and allowed herself to relax just a bit in the presence of her newfound friends. Before she knew it, they were pulling into the emergency bay at the hospital.

Rick stopped the car and walked briskly to help Kate and Olivia out. Alexis jumped out and waited patiently by her father's side. Rick gestured to Olivia and Kate obliged, only just realizing her hands were soaked in blood. She looked at her hands and felt a wave of nerves and nausea rush through her body. She'd never been a queasy person when it came to blood, but apparently that was different when the blood belonged to your child.

They walked into the emergency room and Rick settled Olivia into Kate's lap after she'd cleaned her hands. Ricked promised a quick return and came back with clean hands of his own and the paperwork to admit Olivia to the hospital's care.

The blood flow had staunched quite a bit and Olivia was calm enough to hold the scarf to her own face. She climbed out of her mother's lap and sought shelter in the arms of the man who'd rescued her. Kate finally finished the paperwork and returned it to the nurse at the desk. She settled back into her chair next to Alexis and wrung her hands together. She felt nervous and anxious and searched her brain for appropriate conversation.

"So Rick Castle, huh?" She tried to feign indifference, but her voice sounded excited and star-struck, even to her own ears.

"I take it that you know my work?" His eyebrows rose ever so slightly and Kate could hardly contain the giddy laughter that was about to boil over.

"Do I know your work! I've read all of your books…multiple times. Your books have helped me through some really rough times."

Kate wished she hadn't revealed so much, but her thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling for Olivia. A nurse approached the group and looked to Rick.

"Are you Olivia's father?" Rick blinked, speechless.

"I'm her mother—" Kate faltered, reaching for her daughter.

The nurse looked confused for only a moment before regaining her professional demeanor and leading Kate to a door that lead to the treating rooms. Kate looked back and searched Rick's face pleadingly before mouthing _come with us._ He rose instantly and took Alexis by the hand, quickly catching up to Kate and the nurse.

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><p><strong>AN: **I bet you were all secretly hoping the kind stranger would be Castle...and I'm sure you were wondering when he'd make an appearance. So there ya go! I will post the next chapter very soon because I have the next four or so chapters already written and waiting to be posted. Please review!

Ash


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Hey everyone. So here's the thing. I have up to chapter 6 written for this story. I can either update them one right after the other, or spread them out across a few weeks. What's preferable? So here's the next chapter. Tell me what you think.

**Disclaimer:** Castle and the characters STILL don't belong to me, unfortunately.

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><p>Kate's leg jiggled as she, Rick, Alexis and Olivia waited for the doctor to come in to the treating room. When Rick reached out and placed a warm hand on her knee, she stopped instantly, but her hands took to twisting and wringing. Rick chuckled and pulled a notepad and pen out of his jacket pocket and handed them to Kate. She looked at him curiously, not knowing what to do with the items Rick had just given her.<p>

"Write. It honestly helps with the nerves." Rick said, by way of explanation.

"I—" Kate paused, unable to form words.

"It doesn't have to be eloquent or perfect. Just write what you feel."

Kate blinked and then looked down to the pad and pen in her hands. She shrugged her shoulders and settled herself in her chair before flipping the front cover of the notepad and uncapping the pen. She felt her cheeks warm when she looked up and met Rick's eyes. She laughed, a small tinkling sound, and looked down as she began to write.

_Dear Adam,_

_Right now I am sitting with Olivia in the emergency room, waiting for a doctor to come in and sew up her busted chin. Right now, I am in the company of the kind gentleman who drove us to the hospital and his young daughter. Right now, I am not alone, but I feel as though I am. Adam, I miss you more than words can say. Despite the pain you caused me during our marriage with your business trips and girlfriends, I miss your warmth beside me. I miss your dedication to our daughter. I wish you were here beside me now, holding my hand and being my strength. I'm not sure I can be strong enough for Liv. I'm scared, Adam. I'm scared that I'm not enough for her. What if I can't raise her on my own? What about my job? She needs a father, and you're gone._

_My heart is aching. I miss you. You should not have died. You were still young, still had an entire life ahead of you. What a cruel world we live in that has taken you from me, when I've already lost so much. And Liv, she will grow up, not knowing you. She will never know of your immense love for her. She will never experience your laughter again, or the way your eyes crinkled when you smiled. She will never map out the lines on your hands or the softness of your hugs. Our baby girl will never see the pride in your face when she accomplishes something big. She will never know your protectiveness with a boyfriend. You will not be at her graduations or her wedding. You will miss out on her children._

_Adam, I know it's not your fault for dying; you had an aneurism for goodness sake. But I'm angry with you. I'm angry you left us. I'm angry you weren't with us when it happened. I'm angry you cheated on me from day one. I'm angry I stayed with you. I'm angry I fell in love with you in the first place and angry that my daughter will never get to know her father, not really anyway. I'm angry that you didn't have anything planned; no will and no insurance. I'm angry you left me alone to deal with everything by myself. I'm angry that you're gone._

_Adam, I loved you. While you were alive, I thought I didn't love you with my whole heart, but now that you're gone I see that I did. The tragic part is that I think I loved you more than you ever loved me. There is not one part of me that doesn't crave you; not one part that doesn't grieve you. I cry every day. I feel despair weighing on me, threatening to crush the air from my lungs. As disloyal as you were to me, I loved you with my whole being. I love you still. I know you can't come back to me, but Adam please allow me to move on. I want to be married. I want someone to help me through crazy days like these. I want someone to hold my hand and be the strong one when I can't. Guide me, please. Allow me to mourn you and heal. Allow me to move on._

_I will always love you._

_Love,_

_Your Kate_

As she finished the letter, she looked up and met Rick's eyes again. They were filled with concern and curiosity. He reached out and wiped her cheek and it was only then that Kate realized she'd been crying. Rick glanced down at the paper and saw that it was a letter.

"Some letter, huh?" He asked, smiling gently.

Kate smiled back and nodded her head. She hastily wiped her face and blew out an exasperated breath. She looked up to see Olivia and Alexis deep in conversation and she marveled at the fact that she hadn't heard a single word of it.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize I'd been…" Her voice filtered off as the door opened and a young doctor walked in. His eyes widened at the number of people in the small room and he shut the door and stepped forward.

"Hey there. Where is our patient?" He grinned and feigned ignorance as Alexis and Olivia both erupted in giggles. Olivia's arm jiggled with her laughs as she raised it, indicating that she was the one in need of assistance.

"Let's take a look then." Alexis backed up as the doctor sat down and snapped on a pair of medical gloves.

"My name is Dr. Brandt. What's yours?" He leaned forward, making eye contact with Olivia.

"I'm Olivia. I am four." She said proudly. Dr. Brandt smiled and rustled around in drawers, pulling out cotton swabs, scissors, stitches and bandages, antiseptic and a small glass bottle of numbing medication. As his hand reached in the drawer to grab a needle, he pointed to the adults and leveled with Olivia again.

"Who are they? Are they your parents?" Olivia swiveled on the spot and face Kate and Rick.

The needle came out of the draw and poked into the glass bottle, drawing out the clear liquid. As Olivia giggled and squirmed, Dr. Brandt got the needle ready and waited for her to turn back around.

"That's my mommy. And this is our friend Rick. He brought us here." Olivia explained. She turned back around and Dr. Brandt smiled.

"That's great Olivia. Okay, what we're going to do now is make your chin numb so we can get it put back together, okay?" Olivia nodded and wariness bloomed in her shining green eyes.

"I'm going to have you look up the ceiling and count as high as you can, okay? You're going to feel me grab your face with one hand and a teeny tiny poke right on your chin. Don't worry, it will be over fast." Olivia nodded solemnly and did as she was told.

Dr. Brandt quickly stuck the needle in her chin, evacuated the medicine and pulled it back out, all without a nod of acknowledgement from the girl. He put the needle out of sight and tapped Olivia on the shoulder.

"You can lay back on the bed now, we are going to get started, okay?" She nodded and obeyed, her eyes still trained on the ceiling.

Twenty minutes later, Olivia had a hot pink bandage on her chin and the entire group was walking out of the small treating room and to the front desk. Kate luckily had insurance coverage for emergencies, so had to pay nothing for the visit.

The group left the hospital and made their way through the biting cold to Kate's SUV. Kate helped both girls climb into the backseat and then she rounded the car and climbed into the passenger seat, allowing Rick to drive again.

He settled into the car, confusion on his handsome face. Kate looked over and knitted her eyebrows together. After a moment of thought, she realized the reason for his confusion.

"I'm sorry Rick. I—" A bright blush flowered on her cheeks as she looked away.

"Kate, are you okay?" She didn't respond, nor did she look at him.

"Kate, it's okay. I really don't mind driving." Kate finally turned to look at the man who'd helped her so much today; the man who was essentially a stranger.

Rick was startled to see tears in her eyes and automatically reached out to rest his hand on top of hers. As a writer, he was very rarely speechless. But sitting here, in this beautiful woman's car, watching her cry, he had no idea what to say. Doing something somewhat out of character, Rick leaned across the console between their seats and embraced her as fully as he could. Responding in an equally out of character move, Kate nestled into Rick's warm chest and allowed herself to cry.

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><p><strong>AN: **So...what do you think? Sorry this chapter was short...I wanted the emergency room visit and the letter to be alone in a chapter and things start to move forward from here on out. So it felt like a nice stopping place for now. Reviews please!

Ash


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Hello readers. Here is a chapter for you bright and early (at least in my time zone) for you! Enjoy and remember to review at the end.

**Disclaimer:** blah...you know I don't own the show or characters.

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><p>Later that night, after taking Rick and Alexis back to the park to collect their own vehicle, Kate and Olivia joined them for dinner at their loft. Olivia was wiped out from the excitement of the afternoon and fell fast asleep on the drive to the apartment. Kate parked and found Rick standing a few feet away from her car.<p>

"Where's Alexis?"

"Oh, she's inside. She darted up there as soon as the car came to a stop. I wanted to wait for you and walk you up." He smiled genuinely as he placed an open palm to the small of her back.

"Liv fell asleep on the way here. Let me just grab her and we can go." Rick gently grabbed her elbow, effectively stopping her movement.

"Allow me. You've had a long day."

Without further elaboration, Rick opened the car door and gently lifted the sleeping child into his arms, settling her against his chest. She squirmed for only a moment before quickly nestling into Rick's neck and wrapping her small arm around his upper arm. Kate swallowed back tears as she watched in awe.

While Olivia had always been a kind and talkative kid, willing to carry on a conversation with just about anyone, she'd never truly taken to men outside her family. Kate wanted to believe that she was merely latching on to Rick because of the recent passing of her father, but Kate knew there was more to it.

Surely Olivia felt the same magnetic pull to Rick and his daughter that she herself felt. Kate wanted to kick herself for feeling attached to her new friend so soon after her husband's death and so soon after meeting him. But she felt some sort of _connection _with him. She inwardly rolled her eyes at the thought but couldn't help the butterflies that stired in her stomach as Rick turned to face her. He reached out to her with his unoccupied hand, finding purchase on the small of her back yet again.

A small shiver rippled up her spine and if Rick noticed, he said nothing. They walked into the warm building, away from the growing cold. Rick guided her to the elevator and surprised her when he pushed the _**P**_ button for what she assumed could only mean _penthouse_. The ride to the top floor of the building was comfortably silent, Rick and Kate allowing shy glances to the other.

Finally, the elevator dinged and came to a stop, the doors opening smoothly. Rick allowed Kate to step out first and then led her to the only door on the floor. He turned the knob and the door swung open, revealing the most gorgeous and decidedly huge loft Kate had ever beheld.

After getting over her initial shock, Kate made the appropriate comments about the apartment's grandeur and surprising level of comfort. Rick gently lay Olivia on the couch and showed Kate to the kitchen.

After helping to make and consuming some of the best food she'd ever eaten, Kate helped clean up the mess and contemplated her new friendship. Rick had come into her life at such a crucial time that she couldn't help but feel it was _not_ a coincidence. Their meeting had been orchestrated by some higher being and she tossed up a reverent prayer of thanks for her good fortune.

She was lost in thought as she felt two small arms wrap around her middle, initially thought to be those of her daughter. But as she settled into the warmth of the body behind her, she realized the arms were situated a bit too high on her body. Feeling slightly startled, she slowly turned to see Alexis wrapped around her. She was looking up at Kate, grinning broadly. Kate relaxed and wrapped her arms around Alexis.

"Goodnight Kate. I'm sorry Olivia got hurt today, but I'm glad we met you and I'm even gladder you got to come to our loft to hang out. Have a good night and I hope to see you soon!"

With that, Alexis dropped her arms from around Kate, kissed Rick on the cheek and skipped up the stairs to her bedroom. Kate stood still for a few seconds and then turned to smile at Rick.

"She is something else! You've done an exceptional job on her so far. How old is she again?" Rick could see admiration and something else that he couldn't quite discern in Kate's eyes.

"She's eight. And I'm glad you think she's alright. She really is a sweet kid and such a rule follower. I swear she doesn't get that from me. She's been so grown up, since day one. I guess with her absent mother and me for a father, she's had to be."

Kate noticed Rick's eyes cloud over as he spoke of Alexis' mother. She couldn't help but wonder what the story there was. At the same time, she knew she shouldn't ask, lest he ask where Olivia's father was.

"What about you? Olivia is definitely the sweetest, most well behaved four-year-old I've ever met. And trust me; I've met a lot of them!" Rick's eyes sparkled and Kate felt the butterflies encroaching on her again.

"Well, she's known about respect and manners since before she could talk. But I guess having a cop for a mother will put a kid on the straight and narrow." She was going to add something about Adam, but couldn't quite bring herself to say the words.

"She's lovely. And so are you." The comment was innocent, unassuming. But Kate immediately felt the weight of its implication. She guessed that Rick did as well because he broke eye contact and cleared his throat.

"If you don't mind me asking, what about her father? I couldn't help but notice the ring on your left hand." Kate shifted uncomfortably and immediately removed her hand from view. She looked down and interlocked her fingers, squeezing tightly until the knuckles turned white.

Rick sensed her change in demeanor and grappled for a topic changer. But before he could utter another word, Kate cleared her throat and took a deep breath. Rick sensed he was in for a heavy conversation and leaned in, his attention rapt.

"Adam was a salesman. He mostly did medical supplies, but he traveled quite a bit. He was crazy about Olivia, but not so much about me. He loved me, but there was always something missing. His love felt more like fondness or friendship." Kate paused, looking at the ceiling.

"When you say _was_…" Rick left the rest of his statement unsaid.

"He passed away. It will be two months in just a couple of days, actually." Kate admitted, her voice sounding defeated and broken.

Rick immediately reached for her hands and wrapped both of his larger, stronger hands around hers. She looked up and found so much emotion in Rick's eyes that she had to look away. She wasn't ready for whatever this was turning into and she wanted to be fair to Rick.

"Kate, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I shouldn't have pried like that." He paused, trying to catch her eyes. "Forgive me?" The question came out as a whisper and Kate looked to him slowly.

"Of course. No harm done. I wouldn't have shared if I didn't want to. It's just all so new, you know?" Kate couldn't believe how honest she was being; and essentially with a stranger. His hands squeezed tighter around hers and Kate couldn't believe how safe and cared for she felt at such a simple gesture.

"Alexis' mother left us by choice." Rick's voice startled Kate in the relative quiet that had settled between them.

"She decided that her career was more important to her and she took off, leaving a very young girl for me to raise alone. I've been doing it for almost nine years, and I can't say it's gotten any easier. But I can say that it's worth every moment of struggle, every tear, all the pain. It's worth the feeling of _there is no way I can do this alone_, and worth the frustration and anger you feel at the other person. Kate, it's worth it all."

Kate couldn't believe that she'd shared so much with this man and that she was crying in front of him _again._ She sucked in a breath and Rick let go of one of her hands to rub away the tears from her face. He smiled at her again, his eyes searing into hers. That look was all that Kate would ever need from him and she knew then that she needed Rick in her life, no matter what capacity his presence would fill.

She leaned into his touch and felt him invade her personal space as he stood and closed the small gap between them. Rick stood at her knees and pulled gently on her hands until she stood. He wrapped his broad arms around her small frame and pulled her to him, enveloping her in the hug she'd needed since she received the news of Adam's death.

Kate lost track of time as she leaned into Rick, allowing him to be her strength. She again wondered at the intensity and quick appearance of the feelings she felt for the man in her arms. She'd only just met him and had already come to depend on him. She allowed his warmth to surround her and lost herself in his strong but gentle touch.

When Rick's hands began to trace lazy circles on her back, Kate pulled back slightly and met his eyes. She allowed him to dry her tears again and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. Stepping out of his embrace, she squeezed his hand and smiled.

"Thank you Rick. I've needed that exact hug for quite some time." Kate meant that she'd needed the hug since Adam's death, but neither she nor Rick had heard the truth in her statement. Kate had truly needed that hug her whole life.

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><p><strong>AN:** Mistakes are my own, but I did go back through and fix the things that were glaringly obvious to me. Thanks for reading, and please review! Another chapter soon!

Ash


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Here we go, another chapter. This one is fairly short, but there's a big one coming up. Also, there's an extremely important conversation between Kate and Olivia in this chapter, so be prepared! Also, this is the first chapter that truly reveals any kind of timeline. This is set before season 3, but with Kate's season 4 hair! ;-) Mistakes are my own. Hope you like it!

**Disclaimer:** you know the deal...

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><p>"Mommy?" Olivia's sweet voice broke the silence of the still morning air. Kate was finally returning to work and she was driving to the Presbyterian Church pre-school to drop Olivia off for the day.<p>

"Yes baby girl?"

"Remember when I was on that itchy bed at the doctor and the man told me to count as high as I could?"

Kate looked in the rearview mirror, nodding her slight recollection. Olivia was distracted. She was looking out the window as she talked; her eyes glassy.

"I wasn't counting. I was talking to Daddy, but just in my head."

Kate nearly choked on her next breath upon hearing the words her daughter spoke. Her hands gripped the steering wheel tightly and she held back tears. She hadn't realized the wound was still so fresh, but hearing her daughter speak of her deceased father uncovered some unhealed part of Kate's fragile heart.

"You were talking to Daddy?" Kate finally managed to form words, rejoining the conversation.

"Uh-huh. I told him that we missed him but that we had new friends." Olivia looked at Kate through the mirror and smiled. Kate remained silent.

"I like Rick and Alexis." Her smile broadened and Kate assumed she was recalling memories from their time spent with the pair.

Kate and Olivia had spent nearly every day with Rick and Alexis since meeting them. Kate had not yet returned to work, so she and Olivia had lunch with Rick most days. They usually stuck around at his loft until Alexis came home and the two girls would disappear upstairs until it was time for dinner. Depending on how bold Kate was feeling, they often stayed for dinner.

Kate couldn't believe it, but she was beginning to have feelings for Rick. She'd never been one to believe in 'love at first sight' or 'soul mates,' but the more time she spent around him, the more she felt herself feeling for him.

"Mommy, did you hear me?" Olivia's voice registered a small amount of annoyance and Kate quickly looked up from the road.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. What did you say?"

"I said, can we please see Rick and Alexis today after school?" Kate thought for a moment before responding.

"I can call Rick to see if they have anything planned for the day." Olivia squealed with glee.

"But listen baby; please do not be upset if they can't play today." Kate chuckled inwardly at her word choice. Rick truly did play with the girls and often pulled Kate into the entire spectacle.

"I won't be upset. I just miss them. It's been days and days and I miss Alexis." Kate laughed out loud and turned to flash a quick smile at her daughter.

"It's only been two days, but I know exactly how you feel."

The conversation ended as Kate pulled into the church parking lot. She helped Olivia out of the car and held her hand as they walked to the entry door of the pre-school. Before entering, Kate crouched down in front of Olivia. Grabbing hold of the girl's small hands, she smiled softly and spoke in a gentle tone.

"It's okay to be scared or sad today. Your friends have missed you and they all know that you've been gone because Daddy passed away. You can talk to them about it, but if you don't want to it's okay to tell them so. If you need anything, please tell your teacher and she can call me. I will be here just as fast as I can." Kate felt tears stinging behind her eyes and quickly drew Olivia into a hug.

"I love you Mommy." The little girl whispered before pulling back and leveling a stare at Kate.

"Is it okay to love Rick, even though I miss Daddy?" Olivia's question threw Kate for a loop so hard that she had to blink several times before her brain could form a response.

"What do you mean, Liv?"

"Rick is a new daddy, right? I love Rick. He's fun and he plays with me." Kate opened and closed her mouth, words absolutely failing her.

"He loves me. And you too, Mommy. And Alexis is my best friend." Kate nodded, still dumbly searching for words.

"So they are our family and it's okay to love them, right?" Olivia's voice was strong and sure and she was looking to Kate to guide her tender emotions. Finally Kate's brain kicked into gear and she took a calming breath before speaking.

"It's absolutely okay to love Rick and Alexis. But we have to talk about the whole Rick being your new daddy part." Kate stared at her unbelievably intelligent and observant child; the girl who could sit down and read any text handed to her, the one that spoke so eloquently, the child who was only four years old.

"I want to explain this to you. Rick is just our friend, okay? It's okay to love him and think he's fun, but he's not your new daddy." Olivia's head snapped up and an indiscernible look crossed her face.

"But don't you love him, Mommy?" Kate was dumbstruck yet again and instead of answering, stood up and walking briskly into the pre-school. Olivia stalled for only a moment before darting after her mother.

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><p>Kate arrived at work only a few minutes late, after her serious conversation with Olivia. Before she exited her car, she shook her head back and forth, trying to dislodge the last question that was burned into her brain. She smoothed her hands over her hair and got out of the car, walking quickly to the precinct to escape the blistering cold.<p>

Winter had officially set on New York and the wind each day blew colder and colder. Kate and Olivia had been seeing Rick and Alexis every day for over a month. Kate bit back a grimace as she realized she'd been out of work for nearly three months. She couldn't help but wonder what had changed.

She walked to the elevator and paused before steeling her nerves and pushing the 'up' button. The lift arrived quickly and she boarded, pushing the button that would bring her back to her old world. She counted backward from ten when the bell dinged; telling her she'd arrived at her destination. The doors swished open and she stepped onto the shiny tile, her heals clicking as her pace increased.

Detectives Kevin Ryan and Javier Esposito were already at their desks and their heads whipped up at the sound of Kate approaching. Upon seeing her, both men smiled broadly and rose from their chairs. Ryan was the first to embrace her, telling her how happy he was that she was finally back. Esposito was more hesitant. He seemed reluctant to speak, but whispered his condolences in her ear when he finally embraced her.

After a few moments of catching up and the guys filling Kate in on the current case, Captain Montgomery poked his head out of his office and called to Kate from across the bullpen. Her hair fell over her shoulder as she turned to face him and she couldn't help the smile that lit up her face as she approached her boss and mentor.

Kate entered the Captain's office and was surprised when he too embraced her. He told her stories of the guys trying to solve cases without her; how lost they'd been. She smiled as he recounted moments from the time she'd lost out on.

When their conversation finally drew to an end, he gripped her shoulder as he escorted her out of his office and wished her well. It felt good, normal, to be back at work and as Kate sat at her desk, she knew that although her life would be forever changed, everything was going to be alright.

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><p><strong>AN:** So? I know it was short, but another chapter will be up soon. This one is the set up and context for the next chapter or two, so I hope you paid attention! Reviews are wonderful...make me happy?


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Here is the next chapter. This one is a little intense...going along with the conversation between Olivia and Kate. I will be updating the next chapter over the weekend, but for now- enjoy and review!

**Disclaimer:** don't own it, though I'd be a very happy girl if I did.

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><p>During her lunch break, later that day, Kate contemplated calling Rick. She could not shake the conversation she'd had with Olivia. Was there something between her and Rick that she didn't- or wouldn't- see? She wanted to talk to him because if she was honest with herself, she'd admit that Rick had become her best friend.<p>

When Captain Montgomery came to stand beside her in the break room, she snapped out of her thoughts about Rick. She cleared her throat and took a step back, making eye contact with him fully.

"You can go home. No bodies have dropped and the boys got really good at doing paperwork in your absence."

When Kate didn't protest, the Captain raised his eyebrow in disbelief. Kate had never been one to comply with going home so easily, even after she'd given birth to Olivia. Kate merely shrugged and turned on her heel to collect her things.

Her heels clicked as she left the precinct and Ryan and Esposito looked at each other. Both were just as surprised as Captain Montgomery had been to see her leaving without so much as tiny complaint.

Kate knew she was behaving out of character, but she had other things, and people, on her mind. Without thinking, she'd taken a cab and was now standing in front of Rick's building. She took a deep breath and pulled out her phone, dialing his number quickly before she could change her mind.

"Hello my dear Kate." Rick's warm and smooth voice answered.

"Hey, are you free to chat right now?" Kate tapped her heel on the ground nervously.

"Yeah, Lex is still at school and I'm done writing for the day. Do you want to meet for coffee somewhere?" Kate withheld her breath and looked up, searching for his living room windows.

"Actually, I'm downstairs. I got out of work early and I just ended up here…without really meaning to." Kate's cheeks colored in a deep blush and she was grateful Rick couldn't see her. His hearty chuckle startled her and her breath caught in her chest.

"You miss me, don't you? Come on up." He chuckled again before Kate heard the line go dead.

Kate smoothed a hand over her hair and entered his building, walking to the elevator for the thousandth time. She waited impatiently for the lift, tapped and wiggled on the ride up to his floor and felt the air escape her lungs as the bell dinged onto his floor. She walked out slowly, suddenly self-conscious and uncomfortable.

She strode to his door and rapped softly with her knuckles. She head movement behind the door and trained her eyes to the floor. When the door opened, she slowly looked up, seeing Rick for the first time in two days. There was a certain look on his face and Kate tamped down the thought that it was attraction and a bit of lust.

Rick swallowed hard upon seeing Kate. Her hair was perfectly windblown and her cheeks were glowing and pink from the cold wind. Her hands were wrapped tightly around her middle and her face bore the most adorably nervous expression that Rick had ever seen.

He invited Kate in and took her coat, offering coffee before following her to sink into the plush cushions of the couch. Kate twiddled her thumbs and bounced her leg. Rick could feel the nervous energy rolling off of her in waves and wanted to interrupt the thoughts he could practically hear zooming through her mind.

Instead, he was patient and tried not to stare at Kate's beauty as she worked through whatever it was that she'd come to talk to him about. Rick's eyes betrayed him and sought out her lips as she brought her thumb up to her mouth and nibbled on her thumb nail. An invisible coil tightened somewhere deep inside of him and he fought back his feelings. He couldn't let Kate know how he felt about her; surely it would ruin everything.

"Rick—" Kate finally stopped fidgeting and looked up to stare Rick dead in the eyes. He nodded encouragingly.

"Olivia said something to me today and I really don't know what to think about it." Kate shifted in her seat, turning to face Rick more fully.

"What was it?"

"Well she said- she asked me if…" Kate drifted off, trying not to sound as nervous as she felt. Rick remained quiet, but smiled at her in a silent nudge to continue.

"She asked me if it was okay to love you." Kate paused, wanting to judge Rick's reaction before she continued. She expected confusion but only saw interest and acceptance.

"She wasn't sure if she was allowed to love me since her dad is gone, right?" Kate blinked quickly, not quite understanding how Rick had hit it exactly on the nose. Kate nodded and let out a wispy breath.

"Was there something else?" Kate closed her eyes and begged her pounding heart to calm down. She was only repeating the words of a child, right? Kate's eyes snapped open as Rick's warm hand wrapped around hers providing tactile support.

"She asked me if you are her new daddy." Kate allowed the words to flow from her mouth quickly, hoping against hope that Rick wouldn't take it the wrong way.

Rick simply smiled and squeezed her hand. He waited patiently for her roaming eyes to find his again. After a brief moment, they finally did. The look Kate received nearly took her breath away. Rick's eyes sparkled with amusement and pride and…love. Kate felt an impulse to pull away but she tamped it down and left her hand tangled with Rick's.

"Well, what did you say to her then?" Rick's voice was soft and sunny and it warmed her to the core.

"I told her—" Just then Kate's phone jingled in her pocket. She glanced down before quickly looking back at Rick with a look that pleaded him to hold that thought.

"Beckett" her voice was strong and sure and had authority that Rick had never heard. He assumed it was her work voice. Suddenly her hands left his and she was standing.

"What? Is she okay? What happened?" Panic rose in her voice and Rick stood, placing his hand on her shoulder. She glanced at him and started for the door. Rick followed and held up his keys, jingling them to get Kate's attention. She simply nodded and continued through the door.

"Yes, okay. I'll be there as soon as I can. Please tell her I'm on the way." Kate hung up the phone and turned around to find Rick hot on her heels. Tears glittered in her eyes and Rick quickly doubled his steps to reach her and wrap his arms around her.

He pressed the button for the elevator and pulled Kate more firmly to his chest. He rubbed her back and kissed her temple in an attempt to provide comfort and safety. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Kate allowed Rick to pull her into the lift, still enveloped in his arms.

"Something happened at the school. Liv just burst into tears and locked herself in the bathroom. She won't open the door for anyone and is just sitting against the door sobbing."

Kate's shoulders began to shake and Rick held her tighter and reached up to wipe away tears that slid down her cheeks. Her eyes met his and they had a silent conversation. Her eyes told of her fear and worry for her child and his told of support and security. The elevator doors opened and they quickly made their way to the car.

The drive to the school was longer than Kate wanted it to be and she fidgeted nervously. Rick reached across the console and took her hand, intertwining their fingers. She looked up and smiled shyly, reveling in the feel of his hand around hers. They rode the rest of the way to the school holding hands and sharing their hearts through that simple connection.

Rick finally pulled into the parking lot and Kate unbuckled her seatbelt. As soon as the car was parked and turned off, Kate scrambled from the car. She waited for Rick to round the car and together they strode to the door. Kate's heart beat wildly in her chest as they entered the pre-school and walked to Olivia's classroom.

"I'll stay back if you want me to." Rick offered, not wanting to be in the way.

"No!" Kate nearly shrieked. "She needs you too. It's abundantly clear to me now that she needs you here too." Rick squinted his eyes, trying to decipher the meaning behind her words, but shook it off as Kate continued on.

Kate slowly pushed open the door covered in an array of artwork and glanced around the room, assessing the situation as a cop. The teacher scrambled from the floor where she was sitting with the other children and scurried over to Kate and Rick. The other teacher stood at the door to the restroom and was talking softly through the door.

"Thank God you're here!" The first teacher gasped.

"She's inconsolable. Once we told her you were on the way, she quieted a little, but she's still crying and still won't unlock the bathroom. The other kids are starting to freak out." The teacher was sweaty and her face was pale. Rick mused that she'd probably never dealt with anything of this nature in her career as a pre-school teacher.

Kate grabbed Rick's hand and walked toward the bathroom door that connected Olivia's classroom to the one next door. The teacher at the door smiled and backed away, then walked away to help the other teacher calm the children down.

Kate leaned her ear against the door and clutched at her heart with the hand not holding Rick's as she heard her baby girl sobbing on the other side. She crouched down, pulling Rick with her and placed her empty hand against the door.

"Olivia, sweetheart; it's Mommy." Kate proceeded as though she were handling someone about to jump off of a building. Slow and steady was the way to go. She did not want to startle Olivia or upset her because she'd only stay locked up in the bathroom longer.

"Olivia, can I please come in?" Olivia's crying stopped momentarily and Kate heard her shuffle. The door remained locked.

"Liv, Rick is here too. Would it be okay if we both came in there and talked to you?"

"Okay." Came Olivia's soft reply. "But please don't make me come out there yet."

"Of course baby. We can stay in there for as long as you need. But right now you need to open the door and let us in."

"Kay, but no teachers." Olivia reached for the handle to the door and pulled it down, unlocking the door.

Kate pulled the door open slowly, still crouching on the ground. She found Olivia standing against the opposite wall, her feet tangled in each other and one hand nervously scratching her arm. She stood and pulled Rick into the bathroom behind her. She shut the door and locked it, letting her daughter know that she accepted her terms. Kate sat down on the floor and Rick followed suit quickly.

Olivia immediately rushed into her mother's arms and started crying all over again. Kate held her tightly and allowed Rick to run his hand down Olivia's head and back. With the presence of the two people she loved most in the world, Olivia quieted and her breathing attempted to return to normal. The girl coughed and hiccupped. Kate grimaced at the thought of how long her child had been crying.

As soon as her breathing was mostly under control, Olivia sat up and looked up into her mother's eyes. Kate took in her appearance; a red, blotchy face that was streaked with tears, her eyes red rimmed and puffy. Her nose was running just a bit and her hair was messy and wet. Kate felt tears building up in her own eyes and looked desperately to Rick.

"Olivia, come here sweetpea." He prompted after seeing the anguish on Kate's face. Olivia instantly obeyed and was rewarded with Rick's strong arms wrapping around her tiny frame.

"What has you so upset?" Rick's voice was soft and gentle. Kate admired his tact and skill with handling a distraught and distressed child. Olivia's hand came up to his face and she snuggled into his hug a bit deeper.

"Olivia, Rick asked you a question." Kate spoke for the first time and Olivia lifted her small head, looking sadly between her mother and Rick.

"The other kids are being mean. They say that I can't have two daddies, but I know I can because I do."

Rick looked at Kate and her eyes widened. She remembered that she hadn't finished telling Rick how the conversation had gone earlier and every muscle in her body tensed. Rick sensed her change in demeanor and reached out for her hand.

"Listen Liv, we are going to get up and go out of the bathroom. I'm going to take you straight to the car and Mommy is going to get your stuff, talk to your teachers and then she will join us in the car. Does that sound okay to you?"

Kate sighed; glad Rick had continued to take control. Olivia nodded and burrowed deeper into his chest. Kate stood and reached down to help Rick stand. His heavier weight, combined with the added weight of Olivia forced Kate into Rick's arms as he pulled on her arm to stand. He smiled broadly and placed a quick kiss to the corner of Kate's mouth.

Kate couldn't help the smile that bloomed on her face as she opened the door, and she carried on with Rick's plan. Rick quickly left the classroom, holding Olivia's head as if to shield her from the world. Kate spoke with the teachers, gathered Olivia's belongings and left the room. Before she reached the door that would take her to Olivia and Rick, she stopped by the pre-school office and withdrew Olivia from attendance.

Kate allowed her lungs to expand completely for the first time since receiving the call from the school as she made her way to Rick's awaiting car. She gingerly got in and turned around to face Olivia. She smiled at the girl's sleepy eyes.

"Baby girl, you can sleep. But before you do, I want you to know that you don't have to go back to school." Rick glanced at Kate but wordlessly put the car into gear. Olivia's relieved sigh could be heard by both adults and Kate looked back again, finding her daughter drifting off to sleep.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thank you to the 53 people who have put this story on some kind of alert. And thank you, _thank you_ to the 13 who have made it one of their favorites! I am overjoyed with you sweet readers, but would absolutely LOVE more reviews! After all, it is getting close to Christmas, and reviews make such lovely (and free!) gifts!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Hey guys, I am so sorry for the delay. My life has been crazy the last few days and I've hardly had time to breathe, much less upload a new chapter. But here it is. So this is a little sweet, a little steamy. **I am upping the rating of this chapter to T**, but it's nothing too inappropriate because that's not what this story is about. It is about friendship and comfort and finding yourself. (Not YOURself...Kate's and Rick's selves...) Also there is a VERY obscure allusion to another author (a poet, to be exact) somewhere in this chapter and I will give mad props and virtual cookies to anyone who can find it. And you should find it, because I make some darn good cookies!

**Disclaimer:** The characters are not mine, sadly for me.

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><p>The drive back to Rick's loft was quiet. About halfway there, without looking away from the road, Rick took Kate's hand in his own and held it softly. Kate felt her heart skip a beat at the simple gesture but did not look up at Rick. She was desperately trying to figure out her feelings for him.<p>

All too quickly, the drive was over and Rick had let go of Kate's hand. He was already halfway around the car before Kate realized that they were back in the parking garage of Rick's building. She hastily got out of the car and followed Rick into the building, up the elevator and into his apartment. Once again, Rick gently placed Olivia on his couch before rejoining Kate in the kitchen.

She already felt comfortable in his home and had gotten herself a glass of water. She was in the middle of taking deep, calming breaths when she felt Rick wrap himself around her from behind. She was startled only for a moment before turning in his arms.

"Thank you. You were great with her at the school." Rick smiled softly at Kate and pulled her closer to him, his hands gently squeezing her hips.

"It was my pleasure. I thought you might go into meltdown mode too, so I kind of just took control. I'm sorry if I overstepped." Rick's eyes were worried.

"No, of course not. Thank you, Rick; truly."

The sincerity of Kate's words touched Rick and he couldn't help but sneak a look at her marvelous mouth. He quickly drew his gaze back to her eyes and found he'd been caught. He expected to be reprimanded or for Kate to pull away. But instead, her green eyes darkened a shade and her lips parted slightly as a faint blush rose in her cheeks. Rick stood amazed as he watched her eyes dart to his lips and back to his eyes.

Feeling daring, Rick leaned forward and kissed Kate softly. He barely allowed his lips to brush hers before he pulled away, judging her reaction. She blinked softly once, twice, three times before looking at his lips again. When she averted his gaze, he allowed the thumb that was nearly touching the soft skin at her hip to push her thin t-shirt aside and rub gentle circles there.

Her eyes immediately met his again and he leaned in, kissing her with more force. Her lips softened under his and she arched into him, bringing their bodies closer. One of Rick's hands stayed at Kate's hip while the other journeyed north to tangle in her long brown waves. Rick tentatively touched her lip with his tongue and she instantly granted him access.

Kate felt frantic, needy. She wanted to rip his shirt off and wrap her body around his. She needed more of him, but at the same time, felt the edge of a panic attack coming on. What was she _doing_, standing here making out like a teenager? She was having a terribly difficult time thinking clearly when his hand moved from her hair to her side and his thumb brushed the underside of her breast.

All at once, Kate needed air and pushed on Rick slightly, allowing their lips to disconnect. She gasped for air but did not push him away from her. As she sucked in breaths, hoping for her head to stop spinning, Rick's mouth connected to her throat and descended over her pulse point. Rick laved over her jumping pulse with his tongue and Kate was helpless to stop the soft moan that escaped her kiss-blistered lips.

The soft sounds coming from Kate only served to fuel Rick's ministrations. He became more daring and allowed his hands to wander up her shirt. He'd backed her up against the counter and pinned her hips with his own. Rick licked and sucked, kissed and nipped at Kate's delicate skin, and when his lips found the delicate place just under her ear, Kate cried out his name.

For this being their first time in this situation, Rick had an uncanny ability for finding the spots on her body that drove her wild. His mouth found the spot under her ear, his hands were caressing over the sensitive skin of her ribs and his leg had slipped between her own and now pressed into her neediest place.

When his mouth worked its way back to hers, Kate greedily accepted the kiss. She fisted her hands in his shirt and allowed one to reach up and touch his messy, albeit impossibly soft hair. When his tongued touched her own, she separated her mouth from his only enough to utter a single syllable before he captured her lips again.

"Wait—" She could hardly breathe and it felt so ridiculously wonderful. But they were moving so fast. She pushed gently on Rick, disconnecting their mouths again.

"Rick, hold on." He slowed down, but did not stop as his lips brushed her collarbone. She pushed him a second time, a little bit harder.

"Rick, please. Slow down." This time, the four words worked like magic and his body stilled completely.

He looked up at her slowly, embarrassment quickly flooding his features. He moved to step out of her reach, but she hooked her hands around handfuls of his soft shirt again. A small smile tugged at her lips as he stopped.

"I like you, Rick." She couldn't help but chuckle at her current predicament.

"It's pretty clear I'm attracted to you." Kate let go of his shirt with one and gestured between them.

"But as you know, I'm mourning my husband." Kate's eyes settled on Rick's and she could see hurt and confusion in them.

"I'm not saying I want to stop seeing you. God, I want to be near you ever second." Kate chuckled as she paused and ran her tongue over her ruby red lips. Rick swallowed hard.

"But this— this making out like teenagers can't happen." She saw his eyes lower in disappointment before quickly meeting hers again with a mask of acceptance.

"I don't mean not ever. But for right now, let's take our time. Let's see each other, hold hands, watch movies, eat meals. But let's not get to the hot and heavy all at once."

Rick's lips twitched upward in a boyish smile and Kate felt a tingle run through her at the thought of those lips all over her. She couldn't believe it, but she wanted them all over her again. Now.

She stepped toward him and kissed him softly. She stepped away from him as his eyes slowly drifted open and as she walked away, she added a little more swing to her hips than usual.

Rick Castle had always measured time in letters, words, sentences and paragraphs, but as he watched Kate saunter away, he knew he'd forevermore measure time by the way her body sways.

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><p>Kate was sitting on the couch with her feet pulled up under her, playing with the wispy strands of Olivia's hair, when Rick entered the room. After watching her walk away, he'd given her a few minutes to cool off and regain her composure. He'd been entirely too gung-ho about kissing her and felt embarrassed for making her uncomfortable.<p>

"Hey, how is she?" Rick's voice was soft as he sat in a chair across from the couch.

"She's tuckered out, still fast asleep." Kate looked down at her daughter and, not for the first time, marveled at the human being that was literally part of her. She clearly remembered the day Olivia was born; how pink and soft she was. Kate remembered kissing her perfect lips and stroking her dark curly hair. She remembered how calm Olivia had been and how the infant had almost never cried.

"She's amazing, Kate." Rick's voice startled her in the momentary quiet of the room. Looking up, she allowed a small smile to ghost across her lips.

"She really is." Kate continued to admire Olivia and was surprised yet again when the door burst open and Alexis came flying into the quiet apartment.

Rick was immediately on his feet, holding a hand to his lips with a fierce look in his eyes. Alexis nodded and smiled broadly when she saw Kate on the couch. She dropped her backpack and stripped out of her coat and hat, mittens and scarf, and finally her boots. She padded quietly to the couch and stood in front of Kate. Kate patted her lap and Alexis immediately sat and melted into Kate's warm arms.

"Hi Kate!" The girl whispered excitedly.

"Hi sweet girl."

"I'm happy you're here!" Kate smiled and ran her hand through Alexis' long ginger hair.

Rick rejoined them in the living room after hanging up Alexis' discarded winter clothing. He smiled as he watched his daughter sit nestled in Kate's lap; so comfortable and at ease. Kate could feel Rick's eyes on her and looked up, not stopping the quiet words flowing from her lips to Alexis' ears. After a moment, they stopped talking and Alexis nuzzled into Kate's chest and promptly fell asleep.

"We need to talk about what happened today." Kate said finally, very quietly.

"The part about being Olivia's new daddy?" Rick's question fell easily, but Kate felt a small amount of panic rise in her chest. Sighing she looked down at the two sleeping girls.

"That's the one." Rick nodded at Kate and stood up, walking to stand in front of her.

He gently lifted Alexis and Kate stood up, allowing Rick to place Alexis back on the couch. He stood back up and both adults looked down upon their children. The girls were head to head and their hair intermingled, a sea of brown and red the only thing separating them.

"I guess we're going to stay for dinner." Kate said, reluctance coloring her words. Rick frowned and pulled Kate out of the living room and into his study.

"You sound upset." Rick sat, allowing Kate to walk aimlessly, looking at the many shelves of books.

"I'm not upset, Rick. I'm just nervous about what this conversation is going to mean. I mean, it's too soon, isn't it?" She stopped pacing and turned to look at Rick.

Her eyes were shimmering with tears and Rick was once again at a loss for words. Kate crossed her arms over her chest, trying to hold in the multitude of feelings rushing between her heart and mind. She smiled through her teary eyes and sat down on the couch across from Rick's chair.

"So, are we going to talk about it, or just make eyes at each other?" Rick's voice was teasing and light and Kate couldn't escape the small chuckle that escaped her lips.

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><p><strong>AN: **Sorry for ending it right there, but the conversation leads to other stuff and this seemed like the best place to end this chapter without allowing it to get too long. I have to be careful with my writing, otherwise it takes on a life of its own! Please review and keep your eyes open, I will be adding the next chapter before Thanksgiving (for all of my American readers...or readers from other places who celebrate Thanksgiving the last Thursday in November!).

Much love,

Ash

**A/N:**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **So I know I promised to have this to you by Thursday and I have about an hour until then. When I went to upload this chapter, I realized I hadn't finished writing it...the end was missing! So that means that I no longer have back logged chapters, so I'll be posting them as they're written instead of posting a pre-written chapter. Honestly, it shouldn't be too much different...maybe a few more days in between new chapters than normal. Sorry for any inconvenience!

**Disclaimer:** Don't own it!

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><p>"So this conversation…" Kate began, feeling unsteady and nervous. Rick smiled at her from his chair and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.<p>

"I—Um—this is hard." Kate stumbled for words. Rick grinned and got out of his chair, closed the few feet between them and sat on the couch with Kate. Grabbing her hands, he let out a breath and Kate was oddly comforted by the warm air blowing over her skin.

"Olivia asked if I was her new daddy. You told her…wait, what did you tell her?"

"Well, I told her that you're just our friend. And she very quickly explained to me why you're more than a friend to us." Kate's cheeks flamed and she felt the hair on the back of her neck begin to stick as she broke out in a light sweat. When Rick said nothing, Kate continued.

"She told me that you're more than our friend because you play with her and you love us. She said, and very plainly I might add, that you are our family, so it must be okay to love you." Kate looked at their joined hands and prayed Rick would take the conversation well.

"Kate," Rick's voice was so soft and loving that it caused Kate to snap her head up, eyes immediately focusing on his.

"She's right. I do love her, and I love you. From the moment I met you, Liv's bloody chin and all, I felt this sort of connection with you; like our souls were meant to find each other." Rick paused, gauging Kate's reaction.

"It may be crazy to tell you that I love you after such a short time together, but it's how I feel. Alexis and I need you two in our lives. You have come to mean so much to us; well, everything really."

Kate's head spun and her vision swam with tears. She could not believe that this man she'd known for only a month and a half was professing his love for her. And even more than that, she could not believe she felt the same way about him.

Rick leaned forward and pulled Kate into his arms. He smothered his face in her hair and breathed deeply, feeling oddly comforted by the smell of her hair. What was that smell, cherries? He felt the tension leave Kate's body as she dissolved into him.

"Kate, I know it hasn't been very long since you lost Adam. I'm not looking to replace him or be your rebound. You know that, right?" She nodded into his shoulder.

"I want you in my life; all day, every day. But I will wait until you are ready. I don't want to rush you into anything or make you hurry your grief. If you need to feel sad, then please do." Kate leaned up out of his arms, a strange look on her face.

"No, Rick. I _don't_ want to be sad. I just want to feel happy and loved again. Even before Adam died, there was such distance between us and it had been years since I felt his love. I don't want you as a rebound or replacement. What I do want is a partner, someone to go through every day with me.; someone who will _always_ be there, someone to hold me when I cry and hold my hand on hard days. I want someone who will fight for and with me and someone to support and protect me." Tears trickled down her cheeks and Kate realized that Rick had shed a few tears of his own.

"Kate, I want to be that and so much more. I never want you or Olivia to have to walk through a single moment of this life alone. I know I can't be Olivia's father, but maybe I can be the man in her life. And I know you said that right now we need to just be friends, but someday I will ask you to marry me."

Rick felt Kate intake a sharp breath of air. He expected her to tense and pull away; maybe even run away. Instead, she squeezed him harder and allowed the air to expel slowly from her lungs. Then he heard her giggle. It was the daintiest, most girly sound he'd ever heard.

"Rick, we can be more than friends. I want to date you. What I meant earlier was that I want to be with you but that we need to take it slow. We need to keep the hormones in check and be responsible and realistic with this. And for Olivia's sake, I think we need to sit down with her and talk about this whole 'new daddy' thing."

"Of course, I completely agree. I will respect your terms, and maybe we can take Liv to talk to someone; it couldn't hurt." Rick grinned and poked at Kate's ribs. She jerked away from his hand, grabbing it firmly with hers.

"No...no therapy. She's four. She needs time, not someone dissecting her every thought and action." Rick nodded, suddenly feeling he'd overstepped again. "And absolutely **no** tickling." Kate's voice was firm and serious, but a dangerously playful smile spread across her face.

Rick conceded before pulling Kate into his side and settling into the cushions of the couch. They sat in the silence of Rick's study, just breathing each other in. Some time later, the girls came bounding in, dragging Rick and Kate from sleep.

"I guess it's time for dinner."

Rick stretched and got up, pulling Kate to her feet. He wanted to kiss her sleepy face, but thought better of it. It was best to let Kate set the speed. To his surprise, Kate leaned forward and placed a feather-soft kiss to Rick's lips before walking out of the study and into the kitchen.

Rick and Kate made dinner, with the girls both trying to help. The table had been set and drinks were being poured. Dinner was served and Kate, Olivia, Rick and Alexis sat down to eat. Inwardly, Kate mused how much it felt like a family dinner and looked up to see Rick smiling broadly at her. Little did she know, Rick was picturing the same scenario several years down the road.

The girls were a few years older and fighting over the bread. Kate and Rick's son was sitting in a high chair, slurping loudly with food covering his face, and Kate was glowing with happiness and love, a diamond ring sitting proudly on her left hand.

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><p>Kate had decided to pull Olivia out of pre-school and keep her home instead. When she discussed the situation with her father, he immediately volunteered to keep the girl. He'd been so excited, that he even made a list of things to buy so that she wouldn't be missing out on the learning part of school. Kate had been so relieved that Jim offered to stay with Olivia that she would have agreed to any of her father's crazy antics. She was just glad to have someone who knew the situation and could take care of Olivia while she was at work.<p>

A week after the "daddy incident" at the pre-school, Kate had finally gathered the courage to sit and talk with Olivia. She'd rehearsed in her head over and over in an attempt to correct her daughter's sweet, but incorrect line of thinking. Maybe Rick would be Olivia's stepfather someday, but that day was still far off and uncertain. And as much as she adored Rick and Alexis, Kate was beginning to feel uneasy about her and Olivia's intense attachment to them.

Kate had briefly gone to therapy after her mother died and hated every moment of it. She didn't doubt that therapy could work for people, but she felt it was ineffective, at best, for her. When Rick had suggested taking Olivia to talk to someone, she'd felt walls go up in her heart. At once she felt defensive and angry that he'd suggested it and she had to remind herself that he was only trying to be helpful.

After thinking about her short stint in therapy, she'd gone to her closet to dig out her old journal. Her therapist had suggested Kate keep a journal and she'd actually taken the advice and continued writing, even after she quit going to therapy. She'd filled up several thick, leather bound journals and had tucked them into a box when she'd gotten married and moved out of her old apartment. Digging them out, she flipped one open and began to read.

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><p><strong>AN:** Sorry to stop here! I know you all want to know what her journals say, but I want to keep to my promise and get this chapter posted before midnight. Also, I just realized that I must _realllly_ like the name Olivia, because it is the name of a character in one of my other fics! Ooops! Please review and happy Thanksgiving! I am thankful for all of my lovely readers and all of their wonderful reviews.

Ash


	9. Chapter 9

__**A/N: **Hello lovelies. I hope your Thanksgiving was plentiful (for those who celebrate it!) and I hope your weekend has been restful for the rest of you. Here is the next chapter...it picks up with Kate's journal entry. Please let me know if you like that sort of thing...I can definitely continue with the journal entries, or not if you don't like it. I just figured it's a good way for everyone to learn a bit more about Kate, because even though she's a lot more open in my version of Castle, she's still not an open book. That girl's a tough nut to crack!

**Disclaimer:** Sam as always...

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><p><em>Dear Journal, <em>

_I find this incredible inane and tedious but Dr. Kerr says it's necessary. He also says I should write what I'm feeling, but I think he'll be sorry he asked if he ever reads this. You want to know how I'm feeling? I'm angry that I'm in therapy. I'm pissed that some selfish ass murdered my mom. I'm sad that my dad is slipping away. I'm unsettled for there being no justice for my mom. I'm angry that my boyfriend broke up with me when I most need someone close. I'm heart broken that I'll never see my mom again and I'm so incredibly lonely. I miss her every minute. I hear her laugh or see her eyes sparkle in people walking down the street. I run to a woman whose hair looks just the same, only to realize, of course, it's not her. I hear her favorite song and cry, or watch the TV show she hated, just to feel close to her. _

_I hate that I'm actually listening to Dr. Kerr. I hate that he's right about me needing an outlet; somewhere to vent the things I can't say out loud. I think the good doctor believes that he's equipping me to deal with all my junk, but really he's asking me to do something impossible. By writing down what I'm feeling, Dr. Kerr is asking me to accept the way I feel. But the thing is, I don't want to feel angry or unsettled or sad or lonely. I want to feel strong and grounded. I want to be everything my mother once was. I feel as though writing all of this down is admitting that I'm weak and that I can't find my own way. _

_I'll write in this stupid journal, because it's part of my therapy. But I'm not going to like it and I'm not admitting weakness. I'm going to somehow figure out how to find strength in writing— strength in letting my emotions and thoughts see the light of day. I'm writing for my mom._

Kate felt tears stinging her eyes. She'd written this letter on the one month anniversary of her mother's death. She didn't remember having been in therapy so soon after her mother was killed. She greedily sucked down oxygen as she realized how far she'd come since then. And yet, she felt exactly the same now as she had when she wrote the letter. She still felt angry that someone had killed her mother. She was still unsettled that her mother's killer hadn't been caught. She was still heart broken and lonely. And most of all, she was sad that she'd lost her husband; another person who she'd been close to.

Kate was suddenly overcome with the unfairness of the universe. It seemed that most of her life, Kate had struggled or been overshadowed with sorrow. Now, it seemed like Olivia was her only true source of sunshine. Even though Rick was now part of her life, she felt too vulnerable when she was near him, to prone to weakness, to count him as an asset.

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><p>"Mommy?" Olivia's sweet voice rang out in the cold, morning stillness of the apartment. Kate looked up from the police file that she was reading and focused on her child.<p>

"Why's it been so long since we've seen Rick and Lex?" Olivia's innocent question burned Kate's ears.

It had been a month since they'd seen Rick and Alexis and nearly two weeks since Kate had even spoken with Rick over the phone. He'd been busy with book signings, publishing meetings, or something of the sort. Kate had been slammed with an unusually crime-filled month and had hardly been home to see her daughter.

Jim had basically moved into Kate's apartment and had been staying with Olivia not only during the day, but overnight as well. If Kate had been fully functional, she'd have been overly grateful to her father for stepping in and helping her so much lately. But she wasn't sleeping or eating like she should be and it was beginning to wear on her.

"Well, munchkin…we've been so super busy that we just haven't had the time or energy to coordinate a play date."

Kate bit back the bitterness of the lie. Well, it was a half lie, really. She and Rick _had_ both been extremely busy, but if she were completely honest, she'd admit that she hadn't even tried to call Rick. She was terrified of what they were becoming.

Olivia seemed to accept the version of truth that Kate fed her and continued on with her breakfast. The rest of the morning was spent in quiet solitude and Kate wandered into Olivia's room to see what had her daughter so enraptured.

Olivia sat on her bed, staring blankly out the window. Kate entered the room and sat next to her. When Olivia didn't even blink, Kate became concerned and reached out to touch her arm. Olivia startled back into reality and blinked at Kate.

"You okay, sweetie?" Olivia nodded and shrugged out of Kate's reach.

Taking it as the silent blow off that it was, Kate got up from the bed and left the room. As she reached the living room, her phone started to ring and she knew even before she answered it that a body had dropped. After writing down the address and hanging up with Esposito, Kate found her father in the guest bedroom.

"Hey, just got a call for a new body. I will call later to let you know how late I'm going to be."

Jim shrugged and looked back at the book he was reading. Kate stood still for a moment, baffled as to why her family was giving her the cold shoulder today. Shrugging, Kate left the room and heard her father mutter _'if you'll be home at all…' _and couldn't help the small shiver that ran up her back. Pausing to think back through the days of the last month, Kate realized she'd been home even less now than before Adam died.

Kate grabbed her badge, gun, purse and keys and quietly left the apartment. It seemed that her father and daughter preferred to be without her. She felt a surge of guilt and sadness course through her as she took the stairs down to the blistering whiteness of the New York winter.

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><p>The case had been long and wearisome, full of unsavory characters and violent criminals. Kate hadn't been home in over 48 hours and hadn't showered or changed clothes in as long. As she stumbled through the threshold to her apartment, she let out a sigh as she realized how late it was. She'd been numb since leaving the precinct and hadn't realized that it was the dead of night until she reached her silent, dark apartment.<p>

She went through an accelerated version of her nightly routine and flopped into her bed. She had barely drifted off to sleep when she heard her door open and tiny foot falls across the wood floors. She opened one eye to see Olivia standing in front of her, eyes wet and pleading. Kate knew better than to ask questions, especially so late at night, so instead patted the bed and pulled back the covers. Olivia crawled into the space left between Kate's arm and her knees that were curled into her body.

Kate was woken by the shrill ring of her telephone. She grumbled as she reached for it, praying to whatever deity existed for it not to be another murder. She fumbled with the phone for a moment, Olivia still curled into her. The arm under Olivia's head was numb and Kate was having difficulty coordinating her fingers enough to open the small phone.

"Beckett" she answered when she finally got the phone open.

"Hello, Kate." Rick's familiar tranquil voice entered her ears and at once set her heart on fire and caused anxiety to build in her chest.

"Hey, Rick." She aimed for pleasantly surprised, but even to her own ears, her voice sounded flat and irritated.

"Have I caught you at a bad time?" Rick's voice held nothing but sincere concern.

"No, Rick, I'm sorry. I was asleep for the first time in two and half days. Had a pretty tough case this weekend." She paused, unsure where to take the conversation.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Kate felt the anxiety melt away and allowed a smile to bloom on her lips.

"I do need to spend some time with Liv. Maybe we can all have dinner tonight?" Kate allowed her voice to sound hopeful.

"Tonight it is. Let's say 5 o'clock at my place and we can all sit down to watch a movie." Kate sighed inwardly, knowing that they'd inevitably stay the night and that she'd get little sleep yet again.

"You bet!" Kate said the necessary pleasantries and hung up the phone. She looked at the alarm clock beside the bed and realized that it was well past noon.

Groaning, she removed her arm from under the still sleeping Olivia and rolled out of bed. She took her time in the shower and paid extra attention to her hair and make up. Although she wanted nothing more than sleep, she knew she should make an effort to see her boyfr- the man she was dating. Wait, was he her boyfriend?

Kate was unsure, but didn't want to spend time dwelling. She finished in the bathroom and as she walked around the apartment, realized how badly it needed to be cleaned. She walked through and tidied; picking up clothes, books and toys as she went.

When she knocked on the door to the guest room, she was surprised to hear no answer. She slowly opened the door and found the room empty, the bed neatly made. She saw no sign of her father and figured he must have woken early and slipped out once he was sure that Kate was home.

As much as she was sure Jim loved being with Olivia, he had his own life and couldn't be around 24/7. Finally, she reached Olivia's room and picked out a clean outfit after tidying the room. She went back to her own room and walked to the bed. Sitting down, she pulled the covers down and gently rubbed Olivia's foot until the little girl roused from sleep and blinked up at her mom.

"Good morning, sleepy head." Kate smiled at Olivia.

"You're here." Olivia sounded surprised at indignant at the same time.

"Yes I'm here. If you'd like to get dressed, we have some errands to run and then we are going to see Rick and Lex." Olivia's face lit up and she made quick work of changing from her pajamas to the clothes Kate had picked out for her.

After Kate had done Olivia's hair and both had shoes and coats on, the duo left the apartment and did their errands around town. Kate allowed treats that were a rarity: riding taxis everywhere they went, buying a chocolate bar at the drug store, riding the 25-cent pony at the grocery story and sucking on the red-striped mints from the dry cleaner on the way home.

Kate felt she needed to suck up to Olivia in order to be back in her good graces. She didn't want to show up at Rick's tonight with a hurt and angry kid. As the taxi took the familiar turns back to their apartment, Kate brought Olivia closer to her side.

"Hey" Kate paused briefly, allowing Olivia to raise her eyes to meet her mother's.

"I'm sorry I haven't been home much the last few weeks. Work has been super busy and it has been hard to get away." Olivia just stared Kate in the eyes, saying nothing.

"I know it's not fair to you or Pop, but when someone gets hurt, I have to help find the bad guy who hurt them." Acceptance and something else that looked a bit like pride danced across Olivia's small, rosy face.

"I know, Mommy. You're like Super Woman and you have to go out and catch the bad guys so they can't hurt any more people." Kate was stunned momentarily, having never known her daughter thought so highly of her.

"You think I'm like Super Woman?" Olivia nodded furiously, her smile wide and playful.

"Yes, Rick says so too. But Super Woman is my favorite hero, so that's why we picked her for you to be like."

Kate's eyes welled up with tears and she was thankful the cab ride was over. She handed money to the driver and gathered up the bags of things the two had collected throughout the day. She and Olivia exited the taxi and made their way back up to their apartment. Kate felt relieved that the line of conversation had been dropped in the midst of the business of arriving back home.

After putting everything away and cleaning themselves up a bit, Kate and Olivia braved the blustery cold again to finally see Rick and Alexis again. They rode in a taxi again and when it stopped in front of Rick's building, they made their way quickly up to the penthouse floor. Rick and Alexis greeted them warmly and took coats as the foursome made their way into Rick's toasty loft.

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><p><strong>AN:**And we will pick up from there for the next chapter. Please review! For some reason, my reviews have dropped off the last few chapters. Not sure if it's the holidays coming up, or if my writing just sucks. Please let me know if it's not up to par! I love to hear your feedback. It helps me glean the story in the right direction that is pleasing to my writers, as well as to me! Thank you!

Ash


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Here we go, dear readers. Dinner at the Castle's for the first time in quite a long time. Thank you to all of you who have reviewed and thankyouthankyouthankyou! to my new friend **Livz-Purple** for her wonderful reviews! She just found my story and has reviewed on every single chapter. I LOVE that kind of feedback! So, you know, no pressure to the rest of you! :-D

**Disclaimer:** Unfortunately for me, I do not own Castle or the characters that you recognize. (But Olivia is mine!) I only _wish_ I owned something as wonderful and profitable as Castle and the amazing characters that I do so love to play with!

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><p>Once everyone was settled into the couch, with appropriate snacks and drinks, Rick started the movie and snuggled into the couch beside Kate. He wrapped his arm around her body and pulled her closer. Kate's sharp intake of breath confused Rick, but he brushed it off and smiled when Kate rested her head on his chest.<p>

All four watched the movie in silence and about halfway through, Kate and Rick got up to get started on dinner. As they walked to the kitchen, Rick grabbed Kate's hand and dragged her close to him, wrapping his arms firmly around her. Kate gasped again, but quickly settled into Rick's embrace.

"What is it, Kate?" Rick couldn't let her uncharacteristic behavior slide again.

"Nothing, I'm fine." Kate hoped that the lie sounded like truth and pried herself out of Rick's arms.

As she walked away, Rick grabbed her arm and she cried out in pain. Rick was bewildered as he grabbed Kate's hand and led her into the kitchen, making sure the girls were still occupied by the movie.

"What is going on? You gasp every time I touch you." Kate avoided Rick's eyes.

"Kate, please. Am I being rough without realizing it tonight?" Rick's concern touched Kate and she leaned into him, allowing his warmth to sooth her aching body. She took a deep breath and leveled a stare at Rick.

"It was a pretty tough case, as I already mentioned. But I didn't tell you that we had a couple of really rough chases. The suspects were a particularly nasty breed of criminals and weren't above engaging in hand to hand combat with the police officers." Kate paused, not wanting to put into words what had really happened.

Rick's eyes widened and his face became a ghostly white. He reached for Kate's arm and gently pushed up her sleeve. Her arms were covered in bruises and he was sure that the rest of her body matched the dark blue, black and purple spots.

"Oh god, Kate. What happened?" Kate pulled her arm away from Rick and tugged her sleeve back down.

Without meaning to her, she felt the walls around her heart go up again, even higher than before. She couldn't figure out why she felt so defensive around Rick. She cared for him, but for some reason, her heart wouldn't let her any closer to Rick. It was as if she'd reached some invisible point of closeness with him and her defenses weren't allowing her any closer.

Kate squirmed out of Rick's hold and walked away, heading to the bathroom. Rick followed her, desperately trying to get answers.

"Kate, what's going on? What's the matter?" Kate heard fear and hesitation in his voice, as though he wasn't sure if he was allowed to ask the questions, much less receive answers.

Just before Kate reached the threshold to the bathroom, she heard her phone ring. Something in Rick's eyes changed when he saw the relief sweep over Kate as she turned on her heel to retrieve her cell phone. He heard her answer quietly as she excused herself into Rick's study. He didn't follow her this time, but instead went back to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

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><p>"Beckett" Kate answered as she walked to Rick's study.<p>

"Hey girl, what you doin'?" Kate allowed herself to relax upon hearing her best friend's voice.

"Hey Lanie." Kate wanted to gush about Rick, tell Lanie how wonderful, attentive and sweet he was, but then she realized she hadn't told Lanie about Rick.

"Where are you? Do you wanna get some dinner?" Kate clicked through acceptable responses in her head, grappling for one that wouldn't give away the information she'd kept from Lanie for so long.

"I'm with Liv on a play date. We are having dinner with them and won't be home until late." Kate let out a breath as she heard Lanie grumble and realized her friend would buy her explanation.

"Oh, well okay. Hope you're having fun. But we really need to hang out. It's been way too long and I need to hear some dish on your life. I know you can't be living a passionless existence right now, so I wanna know about the boys you're dating and playing with!"

Kate could hear the lewd quality in her friend's voice and knew that after just a few minutes with her, Lanie would figure out what Kate was hiding. She felt her cheeks tinge pink and was grateful that she was alone in the room.

"Of course, Lanie. We can catch up…tomorrow is Sunday, right? How about tomorrow?" She heard her friend chuckle.

"You won't tell me anything, will you?"

"You know me too well. I'm a lady, so I don't kiss and tell!" Kate felt the blush from her cheeks creeping down her face and onto her neck and collar bone. She knew her chest would soon be flushed as well and tried desperately to calm her nerves.

"So you _do_ have someone you've been getting carnal with?" Kate allowed an indignant gasp to escape her smiling mouth.

"Lanie! We can talk about this later, okay?"

"Fine, but don't think you're getting out of this conversation. I want to hear every dirty detail! I'll catch you later, have a good night."

The two friends hung up the phone and Kate took a calming breath before leaving the study. She entered the kitchen and slowly approached Rick. He looked up from the pan he was stirring and let a wary smile settle on his lips.

"Everything okay?" Even after she'd been such a jerk to him, he was still sweet and concerned for her.

"Yeah, just some girl talk. I haven't seen my best friend in a while."

"I thought you two worked together." Rick's eyebrows knit together in a frown.

"Oh, we do. She's been out a bit with random illnesses and someone else has been filling in for her. And then we've been so slammed that I may see her, but we don't get to talk. I mean, I've barely seen my own kid this last month." Kate let the admission slip out of her mouth and tried to swallow the acidic taste of the words.

Rick was nothing but understanding as he turned toward Kate, taking her hands in his. He lightly brushed a hand across her cheek, clearing a strand of hair that had fallen into her eyes as she looked down. He closed the space between them and looked at her earnestly.

"Can we please talk about what happened?" His smile was patient and gentle and Kate felt her defenses slipping.

"A suspect tackled me; those are the bruises on my ribs and back. I was manhandled by another during questioning later the same day. That explains the ones on my arms. He was pretty angry and grabbed me before flinging me around a bit. It was a few minutes before another officer came in to help me." Kate swallowed, not meeting Rick's eyes.

"God, Kate. I'm so sorry." He pressed into her and tentatively reached up to cradle her battered body. He showered her in soft kisses and gently rubbed her back as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Is there anything I can do to make it better?" Rick felt Kate shake her head and he wondered why she refused to let him help her. Swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat, he prepared himself for the answer to his next question.

"Does this sort of thing happen a lot?" Again, Kate only moved her head, nodding.

"What about your partners? Why aren't they keeping you safe?" Kate leaned away from Rick's shoulder.

"They aren't really my partners. They are each other's partners. I'm sort of their superior, so they tag along with me. I make the calls and handle most of the questioning, but I don't have a right hand man, so to speak."

Fury danced in Rick's eyes and Kate thought she could almost see the wheels turning in his head. She wasn't sure she liked where this was going and took a step away from Rick, allowing her walls to regain the ground Rick had just cleared.

"You have to let me come shadow you." Kate laughed at the absurdity of his statement and was confused when he didn't laugh too.

"I'm serious, Kate. No one is protecting you right now, and you clearly need it. Who's better to protect you than me? There isn't a single person on this earth, except maybe your dad, who loves or cares for you more than I do and is more able than me to protect you." Rick's devotion and ardent expression almost had her convinced.

"No, Rick. You're not a cop and honestly would only get in the way." Kate watched Rick's eyes fall. She couldn't believe that she was standing there, hurting the only man who had ever loved her this much and wanted to be in her life.

"Come on, Kate. I can take a couple of classes and get some tactical training. I could be as good as any cop coming out of the academy." His hopefulness was endearing, but Kate couldn't let Rick enter that aspect of her life.

"No. You cannot shadow me. You can't be my partner." Her words came out harsher than she'd intended and she saw Rick deflate further.

"Well, would it convince you if I said it helped me too? I'm thinking of starting a new book series and I could really use some inspiration. Shadowing you would give me lots to go on and—" Kate's voice was cold and biting as she interrupted.

"Rick, I said no." He frowned deeply and allowed Kate to back away from him.

Kate turned and went to the door, collecting her coat and hastily pulling on her boots. She flung her coat over her shoulders and walked to the couch. Rick watched helplessly as Kate tugged on Olivia, forcing her away from the warmth of the nest of blankets she and Alexis had built. Kate helped Olivia into her coat and shoes and finally paused to look up at Rick.

By this time, Alexis had stopped the movie and was standing next to her dad, looking desperate and worried. Olivia was confused and stood still with her eyebrows drawn together, a small frown turning her pink lips downward. Kate couldn't look at the children, knowing her behavior was hurting more than just Rick.

"We have to go. Enjoy your dinner." Kate couldn't even offer a _see you soon_ and felt an impenetrable fortress further entrench her heart. She knew that if she dug deep enough, her heart would be split open and aching worse than it ever had. She was hurting everyone who mattered; and herself.

Kate grabbed Olivia's hand and swung the door open. Olivia stumbled over her feet as she tried to make sense of what was happening. She felt tears puddle in her eyes and she tried to make them go away. Olivia didn't want to cry in front of Rick and Alexis and she didn't want her mom to see that she'd hurt her daughter yet again.

"Mommy, please. Wait!" Olivia cried despondently as Kate pulled her down the carpeted hallway. She yanked on Kate's hand with both arms and dug her heels into the floor. Kate only quickened her escape, pulling Olivia to her body with force that knocked the small girl off her feet.

"Mommy we didn't even get to eat dinner. I wanna be here, wait!" Rick could only watch as Kate hurried down the hall, nearly dragging Olivia behind her and to the elevator. His feet seemed to be glued to the spot and he struggled to figure out what to do.

At what seemed like the last second, his brain finally turned on and his legs carried him forward, toward the elevator. He accelerated into a run as the doors opened and Kate and Olivia walked into the lift. He reached the doors just as they were sliding shut and saw the tears streaming down not only Olivia's face, but also Kate's. He wanted to say something, anything, but the moment was lost and the elevator had started its descent to the bottom floor.

Rick turned slowly and bumped into Alexis. She looked up at him, her blue eyes awash in unshed tears. Taking her hand, Rick walked back to the loft and quietly shut the door, wondering what on earth he'd done to upset Kate so severely. Ironically, a timer went off at that very second, alerting Rick that dinner was done. He and Alexis ate in silence as they both replayed the events of the evening.

Rick's heart pounded hard in his chest and he was fairly sure that it was breaking.

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><p><strong>AN:**I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! But everything was just _too _ perfect and we needed some turmoil. Also, this fight helps set up some character development for Kate. Don't worry...they won't be in a fight forever. But what are Beckett and Castle if they aren't at odds with each other! Please review, and I'll see you all soon!

Ash


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Hello! Here's the next chapter. This one has a lot of emotional stuff in it, so have your tissues ready! Thank you to all of my reviewers, your love and loyalty touches me. For my devoted readers who donot review, please do! I would love to hear your feedback!

**Disclaimer:** Not mine...blah blah blah

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><p>Kate and Olivia were silent on the cab ride home. Olivia stared blankly out the window, big tears rolling down her face. Kate glanced across the backseat of the cab and felt her heart break when she saw the expression on her baby's face.<p>

Olivia's lower lip was trembling and the corners of her mouth sagged. Her eyes were red and blotchy and shimmered with tears in the bright city lights. Her arms lay limply at her sides and her little legs hung over the seat, not nearly touching the floor.

Kate was vexed with herself and couldn't bear to continue looking at the destruction she'd caused in her daughter. Looking away, Kate felt hot, angry tears roll down her face.

Olivia went straight to her room as soon as Kate opened the front door to their apartment. Instead of slamming the door like Kate expected, Olivia shut her bedroom door slowly and quietly. It was then that Kate realized just how upset her little girl truly was.

Feeling the weight of her mistakes pressing heavily on her shoulders, Kate went to her own bedroom and locked herself in for the night.

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><p>Rick sat on his couch, staring into space, not saying a word. Alexis gave him a measured look and debated breaking the suffocating silence that had settled over the pair. She cleared her throat, hoping her father would look up. He didn't.<p>

"Daddy, what's going on?" Alexis twiddled her fingers, feeling scared and unsure.

"I don't know, pumpkin." Even at eight years old, Alexis recognized the hopelessness in his voice.

"Will we ever see Olivia and Kate again?" The thought of never seeing two people who had become part of her family crushed Alexis' little heart.

Rick was silent. He didn't know what to say to Alexis because _he _wasn't even sure that they'd ever see Kate and Olivia again.

"Daddy?" The desperation in Alexis' eyes stirred something in Rick and he easily wove a lie for her.

"Yes, we will see them again soon." When the lie didn't make either of them feel better, Rick's resolve grew.

"I will make sure that we see them again."

Alexis sighed and got up to burrow into her dad's side. Garnering strength from his daughter's proximity, Rick formed a plan.

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><p>Morning came all too quickly for Kate and she had to drag herself out of bed. It was Sunday and Kate dreaded her impending dinner with Lanie. She made a quick call to her father, requesting his babysitting services and got ready for the day.<p>

Time passed more quickly than Kate realized, and for that she was thankful. Olivia had given her the silent treatment all day and Kate really couldn't blame her. She'd never allowed Olivia to hear or know about any fights between her and Adam, so she was sure that Olivia was completely bewildered.

In this case, Olivia had not only witnessed the fight between Kate and Rick, but she'd been torn away from the people who had become so much like family.

When Jim arrived some time later, he took in Kate's disheveled appearance and Olivia's closed-off body language.

"What's going on?" His voice was soft and concerned and Kate grew angry as she saw Jim's eyes widen in pity.

"Nothing." She spat. "I'll be back late. Don't wait up." Kate's voice was short and cold.

She leaned down and kissed Olivia's cheek. The girl didn't move or look up. Kate sighed and left to meet Lanie.

**~B&C~**

"Girl, you look like crap!" Lanie's had embraced Kate before she realized what was happening. Kate stood still, not wrapping her arms around her friend, not knowing what to do.

"What's going on? Is Liv okay?" Kate moved her lips into what she thought was a smile but was actually a grimace.

"Okay, spill!" Kate and Lanie had only just been seated at a table in one of the busiest restaurants in Tribeca.

Kate sighed heavily and rested her head against her hand, allowing her entire body to sway to the side. Her hair covered her face and she was glad for the protective cover. She stayed quiet for several minutes until Lane's leg began to jiggle impatiently under the table. Kate sat up straight and moved her hair out of her face.

"I'm dating a guy…or was until last night. His name is Richard Castle-yes _that_ one- and I think we broke up last night." Kate spoke quickly, in a single breath.

Lanie sat quietly for a moment before she cleared her throat and smoothed her hands over the cloth napkin in her lap. Kate was surprised that Lanie didn't immediately questioned why Kate hadn't shared this information with her. Her next words surprised Kate even more than Lanie's lack of response.

"What did you do?" Kate's eyebrows shot up and her mouth opened slightly.

"What did _I_ do?" Lanie only nodded and Kate felt anger rise like bile in her stomach.

"Yes, you. You always mess things up, Kate!" Kate felt wounded but knew her friend was right and furthermore, she deserved Lanie's words.

"I don't even know. Everything was going great. We'd been dating for only about a month, but with him, everything felt so right from the very beginning. But then, something just snapped in me. Last night he was being so sweet and protective and I yelled at him and pushed him away." Lanie looked at her questioningly.

"There's more. He made dinner for me and Liv last night and I basically dragged her out of the apartment kicking and screaming. I left him and his daughter just standing there and made it very clear he wasn't to follow me." Lanie continued to stare at her dubiously.

"Lanie, I screwed up. This guy is amazing—maybe even the guy that I've been waiting my whole life for—and I set it all on fire. I devastated everyone I love and I don't know how to fix it."

Lanie's face softened and she reached across the table and took Kate's hand.

"Kate," Lanie paused, waiting for Kate to look up and meet her eyes.

"You know what you have to do. Go to him. Let him in and stop pushing him away. If you care about him, stop fighting it."

Lanie saw the scared uncertainty in Kate's face. She squeezed her friend's hand and continued.

"You have to trust someone eventually. And for you to keep your relationship with him a secret from me and with you saying that he could be the one, I know you must really like him. Trust him and let him be your strength. You know you never gave Adam everything." Lanie paused, knowing her statement would sting Kate's broken heart.

"Let Richard"

"Rick"

"Let Rick be everything you never let Adam be."

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><p>When Kate got home that night, she went straight to her room and collapsed into bed. She felt worn and beat, as though she hadn't had sleep in several days. She guessed that emotional turmoil often did that to people. Kate lay face down on her bed for what seemed like hours but could have only been a few minutes.<p>

Finally, with a great sigh, she rolled off the bed and stripped her clothes as she headed to the bathroom. She turned on the water, making it hotter than usual and stepped in immediately. She hissed as the steaming water made contact with her skin, but allowed the hot water to burn away the details of the last few days. Hell, she wouldn't have been bothered if the water singed away the memories from the last month. She'd done a real number on her loved ones and the delicate relationships shared with each of them.

After being in the shower for longer than necessary, Kate turned off the water and dried herself off. She went back to her bed and flopped down, soaking hair, towel and everything. She didn't care enough to wait for her hair to dry and her body hurt too much to move to pull on a t-shirt and underwear. She fell asleep quickly and slept more soundly than she had in longer than she could remember.

Kate awoke to two small eyes staring at her from the bedside. Olivia's face was resting on the edge of the bed, her eyes being the only part that was visible. Kate smiled tentatively, hoping today would end the stalemate between her and her daughter. Olivia scampered onto the bed and a smile spread uncontrollably across Kate's face. Olivia giggled when Kate pulled on her leg to bring her under the blankets next to Kate's still naked body.

"Mommy, why aren't you wearing any clothes?" Olivia giggled and covered her mouth with her tiny hand.

"I was soooo tired when I got out of the shower last night that I simply could not be bothered to get dressed." Kate's voice was playful and sing-songy. Both girls grew quiet and Kate recognized her opportunity to make things better with her child.

"Liv,"

"Yes, Mommy?"

"I'm so sorry about the other night at Rick's. I shouldn't have yelled like that or made you leave. I definitely shouldn't have pulled on you like I did. I'm very sorry that I hurt you and I don't want to hurt you again." Kate felt tears welling up in her eyes as she thought back to that night.

Olivia cupped Kate's face with her hand and gazed seriously into her mother's face. Her eyes were glassy, as though she was trying not to cry. A small smile crept onto her face and she snuggled into Kate's neck.

"I forgive you, Mommy." Kate smiled and wrapped her arms around Olivia, sighing in relief at the weight and warmth of her daughter.

"Let's not fight anymore. I don't like it." Kate chuckled at Olivia's request.

"Of course, baby. I don't like to fight either. I've missed you!"

The two Becketts spent the rest of day curled up in bed. Kate had gotten up to put some clothes on, much to Olivia's relief. Tickle fights and silly songs, playing with hair and talking about life all helped to get mother and daughter back to a place of love, forgiveness and acceptance. Kate and Olivia both felt as though they'd never been happier than in that moment.

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><p>Rick was at a loss. It had been two and a half weeks since the fight with Kate and he hadn't heard a single word from her. He'd been by her apartment several times, wanting to check on her, but each time she was either at work or just not answering the door. He'd accidentally happened upon Jim one of the times he'd stopped by.<p>

Kate had been at work and Jim answered the door. Rick ran through the necessary introductions and noticed the perplexed look Jim gave him when Olivia ran to the door and nearly bowled Rick over in an attempt to leap into his arms. Rick gave a short explanation that he and Kate were friends and had been seeing each other quite a bit, but left out the details about their dating relationship.

Jim had made a good impression on Rick, and vice versa. Both men liked the other and they instantly felt comfortable around each other. Rick had encountered Jim a few times on his many visits to the apartment. He saw Olivia and was sure that she was happy to see him. But he still managed to miss Kate every single time.

He'd grown tired of not seeing her, not hearing from her when they had so much to discuss. He wanted to apologize for crossing some invisible line with Kate that had so clearly upset her. He still didn't know why she'd been so angry with him that night so long ago, but he was absolutely determined to figure it out and make things right. He was going to put his plan into action.

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><p><strong>AN: ** Yes, no, maybe? I know you're all anxious to have Rick and Kate back together, with all the problems solved...but I couldn't just get Kate over her emotional baggage in one fell swoop. But I do promise that things will be looking up very soon! Please review, and as always, thank you!

Ash

PS-I do try to reply to every review, but please make sure your PM is turned on, otherwise I won't be able to write back to you.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Thank you for your continued patience, wonderful reviews and dedication. I've been pretty busy this week and emotionally weighed down. I lost a loved one a little over a week ago and attended the funeral today. I'm sure my sorrow will fuel some sort of awesome, angsty writing in the near future! But for now, let's have some love and peace, yes? Also, I'm just not even going to put a disclaimer for this chapter, because we all know I don't own the characters or show. Enjoy!

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><p>Kate wasn't stupid. She was entirely aware that Rick had been visiting her apartment when she wasn't (and sometimes <em>was)<em> home. She wasn't sure if she should be exorbitantly angry or incredibly touched that Rick was taking time away from his day to seek her out. He was trying to hold onto her because Kate was pushing him away, though somewhat subconsciously, and he knew it.

Olivia talked endlessly of Rick's visits. Most of them occurred when she was out of the apartment, Kate's great relief. Jim was usually at the apartment taking care of Olivia and allowed Rick to stay as long as he wanted. Rick had even visited on a Saturday when Kate was working and brought Alexis to see Olivia and meet Jim. The four of them had bonded and Kate couldn't help but feel her stomach clench at the situation.

Kate sat pondering all of this at her desk after over a week since she and Olivia had finally made up. The precinct was fairly deserted because of the holidays. Kate hated working the weeks around Christmas and New Year's. There usually weren't any murders around that time, but nonetheless Kate sat at work in an empty precinct with no paperwork, staring at the ceiling.

Christmas had been strange for Kate and Olivia this year. Jim came over, as usual, but it was quiet and still without Adam. He usually ran around like a little kid, or snatched Olivia, squirming and squealing, to make snow angles and snowmen out in the cold. This year, Olivia was solemn and reposed. Kate couldn't blame her; she was missing not only her father, but her "new daddy and sister" as Olivia said. Kate felt like the bad guy for taking Olivia away from the family the little girl had adopted.

Kate continued to swim in her thoughts and didn't notice the elevator _ding_ and the doors _whoosh_ open. Nor did she hear the quiet footfalls that, had she been paying attention, she **would** have recognized. In fact, Kate was so consumed by her reflecting that she didn't even notice when Rick sat in the chair beside her desk. Her chair was turned slightly away from the chair, but she still had a clear view of it. It wasn't until Rick cleared his throat that Kate startled from her own mind and made eye contact with his sea-blue eyes for the first time in weeks.

"Rick—" Kate's voice stuck in her throat and her mouth went dry. Her body went cold and rigid and her brain became muddled and foggy.

"Hello, Kate." His voice was sweet balm to her aching heart, with its honey smooth texture.

"I'm sorry to just show up like this, but I had to see you." Kate closed her eyes and let Rick's voice wash over her, unburdening her soul.

When Kate didn't respond, Rick stood and shuffled his feet awkwardly. He didn't know if she was going to ignore him completely or if she was preparing an angry rant.

"Kate, truly; I'm so sorry." Without thinking, Kate surprised them both when she spun in her chair, nearly jumping up and wrapping her arms around Rick.

He was so shocked that it took him a few seconds to know what to do before he wrapped his arms around her slim frame and buried his face in her hair. Kate's arms were snaked tightly around Rick's neck and her face was resting on his shoulder. She felt tears pooling in her eyes and blinked rapidly in an attempt to dispel them.

After several minutes, Kate leaned away from Rick's body only to reconnect by crashing her lips against his. He groaned at the unexpected kiss and immediately allowed his hands to leave her ribs and rest against her cheek and the back of her head, tangling in her hair. When Rick brushed a gentle finger over Kate's cheek and collected moisture, she briefly registered that her tears had indeed fallen. After a thoroughly delicious make-up kiss, Kate and Rick broke apart. Rick was grinning radiantly and Kate's lips quirked into a small, beaming smile.

Later that night, Kate's gleaming smile lit up the dark apartment. She was surprised to see that Olivia was still wide awake, staring at the moving pictures on the TV screen. Jim was passed out on the couch and didn't stir when the door clicked shut. Olivia was absorbed in the movie as Kate quietly approached the couch. When she was directly behind her daughter, Kate reached out and wrapped Olivia in a hug, shedding sloppy kisses to her face.

Olivia giggled and wrapped her small arms around Kate, not noticing the man behind her mother. Olivia burrowed into her mother's chest for a moment before pulling back and kissing Kate's cheek. It was then that she finally noticed Rick. He was standing quietly and somewhat awkwardly behind Kate, wringing his hands. Olivia's face lit up and she jumped out of Kate's arms and crashed into Rick's legs. Rick scooped her up in his arms, kissing her cheek once she was settled on his hip.

"You're here!" Rick smiled and nodded. "But Mommy's here too…" The confusion was clearly heard in the girl's voice. Kate stood up and crossed the few feet to stand at Rick's side. She reached out and ran a hand down the girl's back.

"We aren't fighting anymore." Kate's answer was simple, but the gravity of it was felt by all three people.

Olivia reached out to her mom, wrapping her arm around Kate's neck and drawing her impossibly closer. Her other arm was around Rick's neck and she buried her head between the heads of the two people she loved most in the world. Her contented sigh, paired with the soft murmur of the television, were the only sounds in the apartment. Kate couldn't help the broad smile that crept across her face. She felt a consuming warmth surround her and she caught herself wondering if that was what love felt like.

She shook her head and detached herself from Olivia's impromptu snuggle party and took a step away from the man who was holding her child; who, if she was honest, held a lot more. She smiled shyly and looked at Rick's eyes. They were shimmering brightly, emitting the most amazing emotion. This time, Kate was sure that what she was seeing was love. She reached for Rick's free hand and gave it a small squeeze before reaching for Olivia and setting off to get the small girl ready for bed.

When she returned some time later, Jim was gone and Rick was sitting on the couch, reading a book that was on of hundreds from her overcrowded book shelves. Sensing her presence, he glanced up and smiled serenely. Kate noticed how normal it felt to have him in her home, on her couch. She _liked_ that it felt normal. After standing still for a moment, she finally moved forward to sit down and nestled into his side. She let out a content sigh of her own and reveled in the feeling of finally, _finally_ having Rick close again.

"I'm so sorry, Rick." Her voice was so soft that Rick wasn't sure he'd actually heard her speak.

"I'm so sorry for causing this stupid fight and for pushing you away, when all I want to do is be near you every second." Rick tightened his grip on her and dropped a kiss to her temple.

"I've been so scared to let you in because every man I've ever been close to has hurt me, even- and especially- Adam." Rick sucked in a noisy breath and rubbed Kate's arm. Her skin was cold and he felt an overwhelming need to warm her up.

"I trust you, Rick and I want to let you in. I want you to be around. I want Olivia to be overjoyed at seeing you, and for you to be here when I come home." She paused, unsure if she should share her next thought.

"I knew you were coming over here. And I have to tell you how thankful I am for that. I felt like our fight was almost like a divorce in that we weren't speaking at all and it hurt so badly. But then, here you were, coming over frequently to see Olivia and make sure she knew you still cared about her. That means so much to me, Rick. You are so important to her and no fight we ever have should separate you and Alexis from her." Rick allowed Kate to finish before gently turning her face and pressing the softest, most sincere kiss Kate had ever received to her lips. Though he'd said nothing so far, Rick's kiss was the only reply Kate needed.

"I'm so sorry, Rick." Kate's first words were repeated tenderly and Rick shivered as her breath ghosted over his lips.

"I'm just glad I'm here, kissing you, holding you. I've really missed you, Kate." Rick squeezed Kate closer to himself and she immediately settled her head on his chest.

Several quiet minutes went by and Rick realized that Kate had fallen asleep. He considered just sprawling out on the couch with her, but he truly needed to get back to Alexis. His mother had been kind enough to watch her for the day, but his daughter needed him to be home. Rick quickly ran through the options in his head and tried to decide if Kate would kill him for what he was about to do.

Deciding it was worth the risk; Rick adjusted his arm so that it was under both of Kate's arms, scooped his other arm under her legs and brought her to be draped across his body. He leaned back into the plush cushions of the couch and rocked forward, using the momentum to stand with Kate cradled in his arms. He stood still as she moved in his arms for only a moment before settling back into Rick's warm embrace.

He walked slowly to Kate's bedroom, surprised at how easy it was to carry her. Her weight felt exactly how Rick guessed it would be; not too heavy, but not surprisingly light. Rick admired the sinew and muscle under his hands; she really was nothing but muscle. Nudging the door open with the toe of his shoe, Rick crossed into the dark room and immediately set out for the bed. He finally felt the plush mattress press into his leg and lowered her to the bed. He turned on the lamp on Kate's bedside table and was pleased to find that the light was cast in a soft glow, rather than intense light.

Kate still had her work clothes on and Rick knew she wouldn't sleep well with the slacks and stiff cotton blouse on. Taking a gamble, Rick got up and went in search of a t-shirt. Rick smiled when he hit the jackpot on the first try. Rummaging a bit in the first drawer he opened, Rick pulled out a soft NYPD academy t-shirt and walked back to the bed. He sat down beside Kate and tried to figure out the best way to undress her without seeming like a creep.

Starting with her shoes, Rick began to rid her of her work clothes. Skipping her pants, he let his fingers make quick work of the tiny buttons on Kate's blouse. He pulled it quickly off her arms and shoulders and slipped the straps of her bra over her shoulders and down her arms. Next, he gently pulled the t-shirt over her head and put her arms through the holes. Reaching up the back of the shirt, he unclipped Kate's bra and tugged it down in one motion. All of his movements had been somehow quick and seamless at the same time.

He set her head back on the pillows and removed her pants before pulling the blankets up over her body. He swallowed hard as he realized that he'd inadvertently taken note of her underwear choice; lacy and skimpy. He looked up at her still sleeping face and brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. He pressed his lips to her soft cheek and reveled in her sweet scent and warmth.

"Until tomorrow, Kate." He clicked off the lamp and quietly left the room.

Rick walked quietly down the hall to check on Olivia. He entered her room silently and walked to her bedside. She'd already kicked her blankets off and was sprawled in the middle of her full-sized bed. Rick pulled the blankets back over her body and kissed her head before leaving the room, just as he'd come.

He walked around the apartment, making sure windows and doors were shut and locked. Finally, he went to the drawer where Kate kept the keys and fished around until he found a key ring with a single key. It looked as though it would fit in the front door, and when he checked, it did. Rick found a pad of sticky notes and wrote Kate several notes. He returned to Kate's bedroom and placed one on her lampshade and one on the inside of the door. He placed others on the TV, the refrigerator, the coffee pot and finally the inside of the front door. He turned off the remainder of the lights in the apartment and exited, closing and locking the door behind him.

Rick pocketed the key and caught a cab back to his own apartment. When he arrived home, he found the house quiet and dark. Checking the guest bedroom, he found his mother fast asleep. He found Alexis likewise in her own room. Going quickly through his nightly routine, he settled down for what could only be a restful night's sleep. He'd finally made up with Kate and he knew his dreams would be sweet.

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><p><strong>AN:** So, how many of you just _knew_ that Kate was going to wake up and Rick would squeak out "It's not what you think!"? Also, who's glad they finally made up? MEEE! So, some sweetness and hesitation to come. I possibly give out spoilers to people who write awesome reviews!...*hint, hint*

Lots of love,

Ash


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Hey guys! Here's the next chapter...lucky 13! I don't have much to say about this one...except I hope you like it! :-) Oh, and it's the longest chapter to date!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Castle or its characters. However, Olivia is **my** brain child and I'd really appreciate if you didn't steal her or my plot.

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><p>Kate woke early, unsure of where she was. As she sleepily looked around, she realized she was in her room, in bed…with only a t-shirt on. She distinctly remembered falling asleep on Rick's chest. With a pounding heart, she quickly sat up and turned to look at the other side of the bed. Finding it empty, Kate allowed every ounce of relieved air in her lungs to whoosh out.<p>

"How did I—?" Kate's voice dropped off as she remembered hazy details from the night before. She faintly remembered Rick carrying her into the room and taking her shoes off, but there was nothing after that.

"Wow, he's good." Kate chuckled and sat up more fully, dropping her legs over the side of the bed.

She looked around her room and noticed that Rick had picked up a little. He'd placed her shoes in the closet and picked up the few articles of dirty clothing that had been scattered on the floor. He'd also left her a note.

_Kate, I'm sorry to have undressed you without your permission, but I thought you'd sleep better in something other than your work clothes. _

She giggled to herself knowing that Rick had seen her mostly naked without her knowledge. She went to the bathroom and took a quick shower before running through her morning routine with more care than usual. She finally finished, putting on her best pair of 'come and get me' pumps, before finally walking to her bedroom door, where she found another note.

_Can I see you in the morning? I really enjoyed my brief stay at the precinct…._

"This man is incorrigible!" Kate shook her head as it dawned on her that she'd spoken to herself not once, but three times since she woke up.

She finally opened the door and walked to the kitchen, heading for the coffee pot. She couldn't contain the grin that split her face when she saw another note.

_I make better coffee than anything that could ever come out of this thing. Text me right now, and I will be at the precinct at 8 with coffee so good, you'll never go back to plain black coffee._

Shaking her head, Kate took the few steps to the refrigerator and halted when she spied yet _another _note on the refrigerator.

_I checked….there's nothing good in here, except the fruit, yogurt and juice that I bought for Olivia. I'll bring breakfast to the precinct too! Text me now, before you forget!_

She swung the door to the fridge open and grabbed the food Rick had so thoughtfully left for Olivia. She set it on the counter, sent a quick 'good morning' text to Rick and walked quickly to Olivia's room. Her heels clicked on the floor loudly as she reached Olivia's door and slowed her steps. Pushing the door open, she smiled softly when she saw her baby curled up sideways on the bed.

Kate walked to the side of the bed and sat down, taking in Olivia's rumpled hair and rosy cheeks. She reached out and stroked Olivia's hair back from her face and leaned down to place a soft kiss to her temple.

"Wake up, sleepy head." Kate whispered, chuckling when Olivia swatted at her with sleepy un-coordination.

Kate got up and opened the curtains, letting in the early morning light. Olivia pinched her eyes closed tighter and rolled over, covering her head with a pillow. Kate went to the closet and pulled out a skirt and boots. Going to the dresser, she picked out a new pair of underwear, thick sweater tights and a cute long-sleeved shirt. Tossing all of the clothing onto the bed, Kate pulled the pillow out of Olivia's grip and pulled the sleep shirt over the small girl's head.

"Mommy!" Olivia's voice was still masked in sleepiness, but Kate didn't miss the note of irritation and impatience.

"Mommy, I'm still asleep!" Kate grinned as Olivia managed a glare up at her mother.

"Oh, Miss Olivia, the politest girl I know, is glaring at her mother!" Kate's mock astonishment drew a sweet smile and giggles from Olivia.

"I'm sorry, Mommy. I wasn't trying to be mean."

"There it is, the manners are back. Where on _earth_ did you learn to be so polite?" Kate shook her head, trying to remember who instilled Olivia with her exquisite decorum. It couldn't have been herself, because though Kate was always respectful, and polite when necessary; she also had a sharp tongue and sassy attitude. It was entirely possible that it had been from her husband. Adam had a kind demeanor and was respectful to everyone, but he'd been gone more than he was home.

"From you, Mommy. You're always sweet to people." Kate was baffled.

"Really, how so?"

"You like everybody; even people who are mean to you or say nasty things. You're always nice when we go somewhere and you never say mean things to bad drivers on the road, even though I bet you want to."

"Wow, Liv, thank you! You are very astute!" Though she was sure every parent loved their child and thought he or she was the prettiest, smartest, most wonderful child on the planet; she couldn't help but admire how brilliant and perceptive hers was.

"Mommy, what's 'astute'?" Kate chuckled.

"It means you notice everything!"

At this point, Kate had wrangled a wiggly Olivia into her clothes and was putting the last touches on a braided pony tail, complete with a large sparkly bow. Kate wasn't exactly a girly-girl, but she knew Olivia liked the bling. She stood and helped Olivia jump off the bed.

"Guess what, Rick left breakfast for you!" Olivia cheered as they both left the bedroom.

"You go potty and wash your hands. I'll get your bag packed since you're going to Pop's today instead of him coming over here." Olivia did as she was told and Kate ventured back into the kitchen, grabbing Olivia's breakfast and a spoon.

Olivia reappeared a few minutes later and sat down to eat her breakfast. Seeing that she was completely enthralled by the wide assortment of fruit in her fruit cup, Kate left Olivia to go pack her daughter's overnight bag. Jim had offered to keep Olivia overnight at his place so that Kate could go on a real date and have Rick spend the night for the first time. Because of the huge fight between her and Rick, Kate was grateful for the opportunity to spend time with him. Though they'd made up and been reunited, things still felt awkward and rocky between them and Kate was anxious to be rid of those feelings.

Kate finished packing Olivia's bag and quickly straightened up the girl's room. As she pulled the blankets up to the top of the bed and grabbed the throw pillows off the floor, Kate noticed a very familiar book on the ground, partially obscured by a t-shirt. Kate picked up the book and her eyes widened almost painfully when she realized what it was. Olivia had somehow found one of her old therapy journals.

Tucking the book under her arm and grabbing Olivia's bag, she headed to the kitchen to question her daughter about the journal. At the same time, Olivia had made a discovery of her own and was skipping down the hallway when she bumped into Kate. Olivia was sent sprawling onto the floor and Kate dropped the journal and the bag she was holding. As Olivia regained her surroundings, she noticed the journal that she'd confiscated.

"Uh-oh!" She whispered, her eyes becoming wide and bewildered.

"Uh-oh is right. Where did you get this?" Olivia gulped and shuffled her feet, pulling her arms behind her little body.

"It was next to your bed. I didn't mean to keep it. It's pretty and I just wanted to see if it had pictures."

"Did you read it?" Kate was nervous because she didn't know which volume this journal was. If it was one of the earlier ones, she was sure that Olivia could have been exposed to a lot of hatred and anger. If Olivia had been an average four-year-old, Kate never would have had to worry about things like that. But Olivia wasn't average. She was extraordinary.

"I started one page, but it was kind of boring and had big words. I was gonna bring it back and say sorry for taking it, but I forgot." Olivia looked down and shuffled her feet again.

"I'm sorry, Mommy." Kate's heart melted and she kneeled to pull her baby into her arms.

"It's okay, Liv. But please don't take my things without asking, okay?" Olivia nodded fiercely and held out her hand, revealing the sticky note she'd found.

_Kate, I miss you already. I have a surprise for you, once you get to work!_

Kate rolled her eyes. She wasn't sure she liked the idea of Rick being at the precinct with her, even for one day.

"Okay, we're going to be late. We need to get going. Remember that you're staying with Pop tonight?" Kate talked business with Olivia as they bundled up and made their way out of the apartment and into the bitter cold.

After dropping Olivia off at her father's house, Kate enjoyed the quiet drive to the precinct. She pulled into her usual spot half an hour early and decided to approach the elephant in the room, so to speak. She'd brought the journal with her and it had been in the passenger seat, taunting her for the entire drive. Taking a deep breath, Kate reached across the seat and opened it to the middle of the journal.

_Dear Journal,_

_It's been almost three years since my mother's death. I'm not in therapy anymore, but for some reason I'm still writing in these books. I guess Dr. Kerr was right; it does help to write what I feel._

_It's strange, Mom not being here. Even after all this time, I still pick up the phone to call her. I expect to see her when I go to Dad's for dinner. I see a woman who looks like her from behind and am crushed when I find that it's not her. I hear someone laugh and I swear it sounds just like her. I catch our favorite movies and just cry my eyes out, missing her. _

_She shouldn't be gone. She shouldn't have been killed. I'm still angry. I'm still hurting and I still long for her. I've been especially angry and lonely lately because of all that's going on in my life. I'm graduating college soon, and she was so excited for that. She was going to go all out and throw me a party. I also just got engaged to Adam; a sweet man who loves me. I'm getting married soon and my mom won't be there. She won't be there to help make sure everything's perfect, or help me find my things borrowed, old and blue. She won't sit in the front row and smile with tears in her eyes as I say "I do." _

_Thinking forward, she won't be there when I get pregnant, or have my first child. She won't be there for Christmases and birthdays like she was so looking forward to. She loved being a mom, but she was even more excited to be a grandmother. _

_Adam asked me the other day why I'm so guarded. I've told him about my mom, but he doesn't know how I actually _feel_. I was very scientific and spoke in clinical terms. I left my feelings out of it and I know Dr. Kerr would be cringing if he knew._

_What I didn't tell Adam was how crushed my heart really is. Well, crushed may be the wrong word. I think in order to _not_ feel how absolutely devastated I am, I've built a giant stone wall around my heart. It's safer that way. So when someone hurts me, because they will, I don't have to feel it as much. I only have to feel what spills over the outside of the wall. All the rest of the pain stays neatly inside. _

_I don't like messy, and __**feeling**__ is messy. Adam doesn't get that; he _loves_ feeling stuff. I think he feels too much sometimes. But as long as I keep my wall in place, I can love Adam. I can marry him and have his children. I can become a cop, like I know my mom would have wanted. I can do anything if I keep my heart sealed. _

_I won't ever say I loved my mom too much, because I often think I could have loved her more…or better…or something. But I won't ever be hurt as badly as I was when I received the news of her death. I will never care about someone so much again. I won't survive if I have to go through something like this again; if I have to feel my heart shattering into a zillion pieces. You might as well start calling me Venus de Milo, because my heart is made of stone, so why shouldn't the rest of me be?_

Kate swiped at the tears cascading down her face. She had no memory of writing the pages spread before her. She remembered feeling sad that her mom wouldn't be present on two of the most important days of her life, but she didn't remember _deciding_ to wall her heart off. She thought that she'd been hurt so many times, by so many people that walling it off had been a defense mechanism. She was shocked and disgusted to learn that it had been a choice.

As she thought over the words in front of her, Kate realized how wrong she'd been when she wrote them. She did love someone as much as she loved her mother, if not more. Olivia was everything to her and if it hadn't been for her conception and birth, Kate would have remained a sad and stone hearted person. Olivia brought sunshine and happiness into her life again, something that she hadn't felt since her mother died.

Even marrying Adam hadn't been the most glorious and uplifting moment of her life. Olivia was by far the greatest occurrence, followed closely by making detective and meeting Rick and Alexis.

Kate snapped out of her deep thoughts and looked at the time. She had only two minutes before she'd be considered late. It was a good thing that Captain Montgomery loved her, or else she'd be in hot water. Snapping the journal closed and stuffing it in the back of her seat, she jumped out of the car, remembered to be careful walking into work because of the ice, and briskly made her way to the doors of the precinct.

She took the elevator up to the fourth floor and set her head high, mentally attaching her 'no nonsense, I'm the boss' demeanor. Ryan and Esposito waved at her with curious smiles. Kate knew she'd taken more time than she ever had getting ready for work and she knew her extra effort showed.

Kate's hair was down and flowed in soft waves around her shoulders. She wore bright red pumps, tight grey slacks and a white pin striped blouse with a few more buttons undone than necessary, revealing a lacy black bra. She knew what she was wearing was out of character for her, not to mention entirely weather and work inappropriate. She momentarily thanked her past self for _not_ getting the pageboy haircut and shook her hair over her shoulder before heading to the break room.

Kate knew that if she looked, Ryan and Esposito's chins would be resting on the floor. Kate wasn't a cocky person, but she knew when she looked good. She'd made sure she looked _damn good_ before heading out the door. She'd applied more makeup than usual and swiped on a cherry red lip gloss, which made her lips redder and plumper than usual. She finally reached the break room and poked her head in, expecting to find Rick. Disappointment quickly flooded her face when she found the room empty.

"Looking for me?" His debonair voice sounded behind her and she felt delicious chills roll over her skin. She put on her best sexy smile and turned slowly to look Rick in the face.

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><p><strong>AN: **Hehehehee! A teaser...please review! Reviews=love and I need to feel your love. I'm busy with finals and they are competing for time with my writing. Lots of lovely reviews means I'll be more likely to write and post new chapters, over an hour or so of studying!

Also, I haven't said this in a while, but all mistakes are my own! Thanks for your dedication, I love you all!


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**::Sigh:: Hello my lovely, loyal readers. I do apologize for my absence. Life just gets in the way of my writing...how rude of Life. Here we have it...the next chapter. This one takes place in the precinct and had a bit of interaction between all the expected characters. I'm not sure how much I like this chapter, because I feel like it's not taking the story forward, nonetheless I fell it was a necessary scene. Let me know what you think!

**Disclaimer:** Because this chapter is full of other characters, I need to say once again that the characters are not mine. I am merely allowed to play with them for a while. :-)

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><p>Kate's deliberate sexy smile soon blossomed into an unintentional giddy one. Rick stood before her, holding a coffee in each hand and brown paper bag under his arm. Kate eyed him predatorily, wanting to have her way with him right then and there. She stopped undressing him with her eyes for long enough to look around, checking for an audience.<p>

Ryan and Esposito stood still like statues at their desks, knowing smirks firmly on their faces. Somehow, Lanie had appeared and stood beside Esposito, giving Kate a smile of approval. Kate felt a pink flush claim her face and she dropped her head, trying to hide her obvious glow. Rick chuckled unsteadily and used a coffee cup to point at the break room.

"Why don't we go in there? We can eat and have coffee and allow everyone to get over themselves." Kate giggled and led him in, shutting the door behind them.

"I'm sure it's weird for them. I've never let anyone visit me at work; not my dad or Olivia and especially not my significant other." Kate felt like she was in high school again, falling in love for the first time.

"Not even Adam?" At the mention of her late husband's name, Kate's smile immediately dropped off her face.

"He was never in town for long enough to think of coming here. He never even went to an office Christmas party with me." Kate crossed her arms over her chest and lowered her eyes as bitter memories flooded her mind.

"Kate, hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go there." Rick's voice was filled with remorse and Kate's heart burned with guilt.

"No, babe, it's okay." Kate's cheeks blushed furiously as she realized what had just slipped out of her mouth.

"Did you just call me babe?" Rick wore a cheeky grin that reminded Kate of a cat who'd just caught the canary. Kate remained silent, but the bright red embarrassment trailed from her face down to her neck and all the way to the skin barely concealed by her shirt.

Rick set the coffees and bag down on the table and pulled Kate into his chest for a warm embrace. She nestled her face into his shoulder and unwound her trapped arms from their still crossed position between their bodies. She snaked them around Rick's neck and placed a firm kiss to his pulse point. His hands came from their place on her hips to tangle with the soft curls at the back of her head.

If Adam had ever taken the time to visit her at the precinct, she never would have allowed PDA. But for a reason she did not know, she felt entirely comfortable letting Rick press his lips softly to hers. She allowed a soft moan to escape her lips and mingle with Rick's warm breath. Rick's hands moved to Kate's shoulders and she arched into him. Confusion flooded her features when Rick removed his lips from hers and gently pushed her chest away from his.

"We're in the break room at your place of employment." Rick's formal tone elicited a small laugh from Kate and she leaned into Rick's arms, resting her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around his back.

"I'm sorry. I guess I got a little carried away."

Rick folded his arms around Kate and dropped a soft kiss to the top of her head. They stood like that for several minutes before Kate's stomach grumbled. They both laughed and clicked into domestic mode; grabbing napkins, pulling out chairs, giving soft touches across the table, and finally eating their breakfast in companionable silence.

From outside the break room, Lanie, Esposito and Ryan all stood in the bullpen in absolute silence. When Kate and Rick finally stood to clear the mess from their breakfast, Lanie turned to the boys with a wicked grin on her face.

"That's Rick, her new boyfriend." Ryan and Esposito exchanged glances.

"He's handsome…and vaguely familiar." Esposito started and Ryan finished his thought.

"That's because he's Richard Castle, the crime novel author." Lanie quickly explained the situation to the boys and they scooted closer to each other, dropping their voices to whispers as Kate and Rick emerged from the break room.

A brilliant smile was fastened to Kate's face and her shoulders were infinitely more relaxed than anyone at the precinct had ever seen. She leaned into Rick's side and easily clung to his arm. They drew near to her desk and she finally looked over at her colleagues who had grown to become more like her family. She lifted an eyebrow and nodded her head once, beckoning the group over.

"Guys, this is Rick." Kate held Rick's hand and leaned into him when he stepped forward to shake hands.

"Rick, this is Lanie, Esposito and Ryan." Rick shook hands and all spoke the appropriate pleasantries.

"So, Rick; you're Kate's new man?" Esposito began the questioning with what he thought was a menacing glare. Instead, it looked more like a painfully constipated stare.

"And you're a best selling author, are you not?" It was Ryan's turn to interrogate Rick.

"To answer your questions, yes. I'm Kate's 'new man' and I am the author that you accuse me of being." Rick smiled and leaned back against Kate's desk. Kate couldn't help but notice how good he was under pressure.

As the interrogation continued on, Kate became bored and Lanie was giving her that 'let's go someplace private so we can talk' look, so Kate excused herself by kissing Rick's cheek and patting his chest as she walked away.

When the two women were alone, Lanie let out a girlish squeal. Kate only rolled her eyes and mentally prepared herself for what she was sure was an onslaught of well intentioned, but irritating questions.

"So you're back together?" Lanie's excited was not even a little bit contained.

"And you're touching and kissing and laughing; so I'm guessing things are good between you again." Kate stayed quiet because she knew her friend wasn't done.

"And he brought you breakfast. He knows you like bear claws. How did he know that?" Kate offered a warm smile.

"And he came_ here_, to the precinct. You never let anyone come to work…not even Adam!" Kate felt a frown crease her forehead.

"And so soon after Adam's death. It's weird for a man belonging to you to be here…well for anyone belonging to you to be here. It's good though…it means you're growing."

Kate stopped listening to her friend ramble on at the mention of the time since Adam's death. Was it too soon to be seeing someone else? Sure, she was married to the guy for eight years, but he'd been absent for nearly all of those years. If she went back and counted up all the days she spent with him, it would probably equate to way less than half the time their marriage lasted; maybe even less than one-fourth of the time. She would admit that yes, she was still mourning his death, but she'd been through this already with her mother. It wasn't new and Kate knew how to deal with it now. She could be sad without it consuming her every waking moment.

She wasn't rushing into dating Rick, was she? She didn't feel like she was. Although she was altered by the death of her husband and she was still mourning, she felt like she was nearly healed. Kate was used to Adam being gone and she knew that someday he would go away by choice and never come back, so she had nearly come to terms with the fact that he was gone now and wouldn't ever come back, though it was slightly more eternal in this case.

"Kate, are you listening to me?" Lanie's annoyed voice snapped Kate out of her musings and she proffered an apologetic smile.

"Really Kate, this is good. Rick is good for you. You were never this happy before…" Lanie's voice drifted off and she looked away, not wanting to bring Adam up _again_.

"Look Lanie, I appreciate your concern and excitement, but I really need to get back to Rick." Lanie smiled and reached out to squeeze Kate's hand.

Lanie left to go to the morgue as Kate walked back into the bullpen. She was pleasantly surprised to find Rick laughing and joking with Ryan and Esposito.

"Hey guys, what's going on?"

The guys immediately stopped talking and tried desperately to wipe the boyish smiles from their faces. Kate eyed them suspiciously and unconsciously reached out to touch Rick's arm. Ryan and Esposito noticed at once and instantly wore sneaky smiles. Unbeknownst to Kate, the men had just been talking about her and Ryan and Esposito were sharing stories of Kate's early days as a traffic cop. Feeling the weighted silence, Kate finally spoke.

"What were you guys talking about?" Rick smiled as Kate's cheeks tinged pink. To the untrained eye, it would look like mild embarrassment, but Rick knew that it was actually deep seeded insecurity. She knew they'd been talking about her and it made her nervous.

"They were telling me some stories of the early days." Rick provided the answer, feeling Kate begin to fidget. Kate smiled appreciatively and let go of Rick. He took the opportunity to walk back to the break room, where he'd accidentally left his phone and keys. The boys took full advantage of his absence.

"Beckett, he's awesome. Seriously, we love him." Esposito was a giddy ten year on Christmas morning.

"You should let him shadow you. From what little we discussed, I think he may have some sort of military background and might do us some good. Besides, he's a writer, so he must have a pretty good imagination, right? He can help us build theory." Ryan always seemed to bring in the practical aspect of things and Kate was thankful that two of the other men in her life approved of Rick.

"Well, I haven't discussed that with the Captain yet."

"Haven't discussed what with me yet?" Captain Montgomery's booming voice came from his office. Kate hadn't even realized he was at the precinct.

"Oh, uh…" Kate's voice tapered off. She was unsure what to say because while part of her didn't want Rick at the precinct (in the midst of danger), she also didn't want anyone forcefully turning him away.

"Beckett's got a new man." Esposito said quickly, without thinking. Kate shuddered. Captain Montgomery had been like a second father to her and she didn't want to know his opinion on her dating Rick so soon after Adam.

"That's terrific, Beckett. Congrats. But what needs discussing?" Leave it to the Captain to get back to the point, no matter how many side turns the conversation took.

"Well, Rick is the well-known author Richard Castle. He's starting a new book series and requested a short period of time to shadow me. He is basing his next main character on me and wants to take notes, get inspiration, the like." Kate was proud of how even and steady her voice sounded when on the inside she was quaking in nervous energy.

Just then, Rick reappeared and smiled at Kate. His reaction to seeing Roy Montgomery was delayed, but he surveyed the man and concluded from Kate's body language toward the man that she'd asked if he could shadow her.

"Hello sir, I'm Richard Castle." Rick reached out to shake hands with Montgomery, pulling out his charm smile.

"It's nice to meet you, Richard. Beckett here has been telling me about your new book series. Why don't you come into my office and we can discuss this matter further." Montgomery patted Kate's shoulder and walked toward his office. Rick and Kate followed after him and Montgomery stopped and turned.

"Not you, Beckett. You and the boys need to get back to your paperwork, please." Kate's easy smile disappeared and she gazed apprehensively at Rick. He winked at her, as if to say 'don't worry, I can handle this' and settled into a large cushy chair in the Captain's office.

What seemed like hours later, Rick exited Montgomery's office, shaking his hand and offering what could only be described as an award winning smile. Montgomery, not usually a man to smile on a whim, immediately returned the smile and clapped Rick on the back in a manly hug. Kate sighed in relief, knowing that even if the Captain had refused Rick's request, the two were at least on good terms.

"Beckett" the Captain barked.

"Sir?" Beckett stood, pushing her chair away from her body.

"Go home." He paused and then smiled knowingly at Rick. "Or wherever this gentleman wants to take you." He effectively ended the conversation before Kate could form as reply and went back into his office and shut the door.

Kate stood baffled for a few seconds, before finally turning to Rick and shrugging her shoulders. He smiled warmly at her and offered to help her into her coat with outstretched arms. They walked arm in arm to the elevator and in yet another move that was quite unlike her, Kate wrapped her arms around Rick's neck and kissed him solidly, smiling against his lips when cat calls and wolf whistles commenced in the now heavily populated bull pen.

Rick pulled away and smiled broadly, pulling Kate into the lift as the elevator doors opened. When they close behind them, wrapping the couple in quiet sanctuary, Rick kissed Kate again. It was full of love and gratitude, of happiness and trust. Kate sighed in complete contentedness and snuggled into Rick's warm body.

"We're going to be okay, huh?" Kate's voice was soft and honest. Rick brushed his hand over her silky hair and squeezed her tighter to his body.

"We're going to be more than okay, _Detective_."

Rick's voice was teasing on the last word and Kate looked up, surprised. On his face, was a mischievous smile and Kate swatted his chest playfully and rolled her eyes. Instantly, she knew how the conversation with the Captain had gone. Rick was going to be fun to have at the precinct…maybe a little _too much_ fun.

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><p><strong>AN:** So I've been reading a lot of Castle fics by other authors and I have to tell you all that every time I went to type Kate or Rick's name...it came out as Beckett or Castle instead. In my story, they are just Kate and Rick and I've never mistyped their names. So I laughed pretty hard when I realized my blunder.

Please review! I need some love to get me over the roadblock that is this chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** So, this chapter sets a new record in length for me (at over 4000 words)! This chapter is exciting! You're gonna love it. Thank you for your continued support...it feels so great knowing that there are indeed people out there who like my writing and gain something from reading my words. You are wonderful, beautiful people and I am so very thankful for you. And because I haven't said it in a while...any and all mistakes are my own.

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own it...)-:

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><p>It was New Year's Eve and Rick and Alexis were at Kate and Olivia's apartment for the night. The foursome expected Kate's father at any moment. Kate and Alexis were busy making cookies, while Olivia and Rick sat in the living room, playing Chutes and Ladders.<p>

"Kate?"

Alexis' little round face gazed up at Kate where she stood mixing cookie dough.

"Yes, sweetie?" Kate stopped mixing for a moment and looked down at the adorable redhead. Alexis was quiet for a moment, her eyes still gazing at Kate's face.

"Why did you leave?" Her sweet voice was so quiet that Kate had a hard time hearing her.

"What do you mean, Lex?" Alexis looked down at her feet and scrunched her pink painted toes.

"I mean when you took Liv and you left. Liv was crying and you were mad. Why did you go?"

Kate felt her stomach clench in knots and a large lump form in her throat. Her hands that were forming blobs of dough into perfect circles stilled instantly and she had trouble drawing her eyes away from the depths of the mixing bowl. Kate hoped that Alexis had forgotten that day and felt guilt and shame surround her as the heat of embarrassment rose on her cheeks.

"Kate?" She'd been quiet for too long. Finally, Kate managed to look back at Alexis' sweet face that was clouded with worry and sadness.

"I'm sorry for whatever I did. I didn't want you to leave. I didn't mean to make you mad. I love you and just want you here. I'll be good, just don't leave again." Kate's heart broke and she didn't even wipe her gooey hands off before turning and pulling Alexis into her arms.

"No, Lex, no. You did nothing wrong. You are wonderful and sweet and perfect. I was the one who was bad. That was my fault. You did everything right, okay? You didn't make me mad. That was between your dad and I and we fixed it. Everything is okay now. I love you too, and I won't ever do anything like that to you again." By the time Kate stopped talking, Alexis was sobbing into her shoulder.

"I n-never had a mo-ommy b-b-before. I thought y-you were nev-ver c-coming back." Alexis hiccupped through her words, barely able to catch her breath. Kate felt tears of her own sting her eyes and waterfall over her cheeks and she could only pull Alexis closer to her chest. Alexis continued to cry and Kate soothed her with quiet promises and a hand softly rubbing the girl's back.

"I am so sorry, Alexis. I never meant to hurt you. I was upset and scared and I didn't think. Please forgive me, sweetie. I'm so, so sorry!" Kate's voice was soft and tinged with regret. Alexis still had tears running down her cheeks but had stopped sobbing and hiccupping.

"Of course I forgive you, Kate. I love you." Alexis said the words as if they were the most obvious words ever spoken. Kate sighed in relief and let her head drop to rest on Alexis' small shoulder.

"I love you too, baby. And thank you."

From around the corner, Rick watched the interaction in awe. He'd never seen anything so emotional or meaningful in his life. The woman he loved truly cared about his child and was heartbroken that she'd hurt the little girl. Now Kate sat wrapped around Alexis, spreading healing balm over their hurt hearts. If Rick had been unsure before, he was certain now that Kate would be his wife. As Kate and Alexis pulled apart, Rick quickly ducked back into the living room, rejoining Olivia on the couch.

**~C&B~**

Jim had arrived soon after Kate and Alexis had talked and he kept the girls entertained while Kate and Rick got ready. Rick knew he'd be 'playing' for a few hours before it was time to go, so he'd arrived at Kate's apartment in jeans and a soft sweater that hugged his muscles in all the right ways. He'd brought a nice suit, bow tie and dress shoes and had arrived with a mysterious dress bag, claiming it was just to keep his suit clean, even though the suit was covered in plastic and on the _outside_ of the bag.

When Kate was in the shower, trying to get all the cookie dough and flour out of her hair and off of her skin, Rick had dressed and snuck the mystery bag into Kate's closet, unzipping it just a bit. When Kate emerged from the shower, they switched places; Kate walked into the bedroom in just a towel and Rick went into the steamy bathroom to fix his hair and shave.

Rick shut the door to give Kate some privacy. He hadn't told her where he was taking her tonight, but he did tell her that it was a formal affair. Kate had been thinking about wardrobe choices all week and wasn't sure what would be appropriate. She walked into her closet, still in her towel to survey her choices and was surprised to see the dress bag Rick had arrived with. It was partially unzipped and her curiosity was peaked. She looked over her shoulder to confirm that Rick was still in the bathroom and unzipped the bag the rest of the way.

A soft gasp escaped her lips as she took in the royal blue dressed that pooled in the bag. With shaking hands, Kate lifted the dress from the bag to fully take in the dress' entirety. It was silky and floor length. The front was fairly low-cut, but still tasteful, and covered in jewels. When she turned the dress around, she gasped again. It was nearly backless and she was unsure if it would cover everything necessary. It too, was covered in jewels.

Kate sighed and smiled, appreciating Rick's impeccable taste in gowns. She slipped out of her towel, pausing to appraise what kind of undergarments would be necessary. After making her decision, Kate allowed the dress to glide down her body. Miraculously, it fit perfectly and softly skimmed Kate's curves. As she took in the cut of the dress, she realized that Rick must have chosen it for how much skin was showing. Kate turned to look at the back of the dress and heard a gasp that wasn't hers sound from the bathroom. She turned shyly to see Rick at the threshold, his mouth hanging open, a smile starting in the corner of his open mouth.

"It's even better than I thought it'd be." Kate hadn't yet done her hair and makeup, but Rick was positive he'd never seen a woman more beautiful than his Kate.

"It's beautiful, Rick. But how did you know it would fit?" Rick smiled and walked over to Kate, brushing a strand of still-wet hair from her shoulder.

"I've memorized you." Kate paused with a diamond earring poised at her ear and could only blink and smile dazedly at Rick. "Plus, I have an eye for that kind of thing."

Kate blushed and looked down at the silky material draped over her body. She smiled demurely before looking back at Rick and taking his hand. She gave it a soft squeeze before finishing with her earrings and turning to look in the mirror again.

"Rick, it's perfect." Her voice was genuine and laced with several things that Rick's brain couldn't name but that his heart recognized immediately.

"I'm just going to finish getting ready. I'll be out in a few minutes." Rick smiled and kissed Kate's cheek before slipping out of the room to check on Jim and the girls.

**~C&B~**

Kate emerged from the bedroom half an hour later with her hair and makeup done. Her hair was swept into an up-do; it was elegant and had a few loose pieces that gave it an unfinished look. She had on more make up than usual, but Rick couldn't help but lose the air from his lungs as he took her in. The smokey brown and gold eye shadow, paired with black eyeliner and mascara made Kate's beautiful green eyes sparker and smolder. Her full lips were painted with a color that matched her natural lip color seamlessly. The dress fit Kate perfectly and was accented by nude suede stilettos on her feet and a beaded clutch in her hand.

She looked unsure as she made a small circle around herself, her eyes asking for approval. Rick's mouth went dry and he could only stare as Kate walked slowly. Olivia and Alexis stood dumbfounded as well, unable to put words to Kate's beauty. It was Jim who spoke first.

"Katie, you look—" words failed him too.

"Mommy, you look so beautiful!" Olivia's tiny voice was the first to find an adequate adjective to describe Kate.

"I was going to say marvelous." Jim's words were quiet, but brought a sad smile to Kate's face. 'Marvelous' had been a word that her mother used when describing Kate.

"Kate, my dear, you are absolutely dazzling." Rick's voice whispered in awe as he stepped closer to her, placing a feather soft kiss to her temple.

Kate's impossibly long eyelashes swept slowly down and when they opened, her eyes were filled with a thousand emotions. The two stayed locked into each other's gazes for a long moment before Jim cleared his throat. Rick and Kate both looked up, with bashful expressions on their faces.

"You two love birds are going to be late to your party. Have fun and please be careful."

Rick and Kate jolted into action. Rick picked both girls up in one swoop and swung them around in a circle before placing them back on their feet with quick kisses to the tops of their heads. Kate leaned down carefully and kissed both girls on the forehead, stroking each girl's cheek with one of her hands, pausing to look meaningfully at Alexis. Rick shook hands with Jim, thanking him and Kate gave him an air kiss and they finally made their way to the door.

"Don't you worry about us! We're good to go for the night. You two have fun. We'll see you in the morning."

"No sugar after eight, please." Rick winked at the girls and turned back toward the door.

"And please get to bed no later than 9:30, okay girls?" Jim chuckled at how well the two of them worked together, easily with each parenting a daughter that wasn't theirs.

"But Kate, the ball isn't going to drop until midnight! We have to see it." Alexis' voice was pleading and hopeful. Kate gave in easily, seeing the excitement on both her and Olivia's faces.

"Okay, fine. But as soon as it drops, you get to bed. Do you understand?" Kate's 'cop voice' came out and both girls nodded fiercely with mock-serious faces, tiny grins trying to escaped from their lips.

Satisfied that their children would be well cared for, Rick and Kate finally left the apartment and rode the elevator to the ground floor. As they emerged from the building, Kate realized she wasn't dressed appropriately for how cold it was outside. She shivered involuntarily and stepped closer to Rick's side as they walked to the town car that waited on the curb.

"Oh, I didn't even think about a wrap or shawl for you. It's freezing out here and you're nearly naked." Rick chuckled as his comment settled into a slightly awkward silence between them.

"Rick, it's okay. A jacket would mess up the dress anyway. I'll be fine, let's just get in the car."

"Here," Rick took of his suit jacket and draped it over Kate's bare shoulders. She shrugged into it and gave him a grateful smile.

"The restaurant is inside anyway." Kate smiled again and ducked her head as she stepped into the car.

Rick gave the address to the restaurant and the car was off, zooming through the surprisingly deserted streets. Kate guessed that most everyone had already made their way to Times Square to eat, party and watch the ball drop. Kate snuggled in to Rick's side, happy for an excuse to be near him.

"You smell nice." Kate's words were shy and quiet and Rick thought he'd imagined them.

"That was a compliment."

Kate spoke again, beginning to feel embarrassed for having said anything. Knowing his silence had given Kate the wrong idea, he reached down and lifted her chin with one finger and brought her lips to his. His kiss was soft and warm and Kate felt her toes curl as the heat from Rick's mouth warmed her soul.

"Thank you, Kate. You are intoxicating." The devious smirk on Rick's face matched the glint in his eyes. Kate knew that if she hadn't spent so much time on her appearance and they weren't headed to dinner that Rick would have already ravaged her in the backseat of the town car.

She smiled up at him and tucked her head back under his smooth chin. She was glad he'd shaved for their dinner. She usually enjoyed the scruff of his 5 o'clock shadow, but it was nice to touch a smooth face on special occasions. Kate wrapped her arm around Rick's middle and felt like she could drift off to sleep if she concentrated on his heartbeat for long enough. Rick felt her go lax in his arms and looked down, grabbing her arm.

"Hey, don't fall asleep! These reservations were hard to get, even with my mild fame." His voice was teasing, but Kate knew he was serious.

"I'm not. I'm just so very comfortable here with you." Rick beamed down at her and enjoyed her quiet presence for the rest of the car ride.

At long last, the car pulled up outside the restaurant. Rick opened the door and stepped out, offering his hand to Kate. She stepped out of the car and pulled Rick's jacket off her shoulders. She winked at him before stepping further onto the curb and taking in their location. She was surprised to see an older restaurant in front of her, but one that held prestige among socialites and celebrities all the same.

"Wow, swanky joint." The town car pulled away and Kate straightened Rick's bowtie before the two journeyed inside the restaurant.

It was as crowded as Kate had expected and even though Rick had reservations, she felt nervous about getting a table. Rick gave his name and they were immediately taken to a table in a back room with only a few other tables, spread far apart. It was quiet and dimly lit, giving off a romantic vibe. Rick pulled Kate's chair out for her and sat only once she was settled.

Dinner was ordered and wine was served. Rick and Kate enjoyed the ambiance and both felt more comfortable and relaxed with each passing moment. Once the food had arrived and been eaten, the couple still sat and talked quietly between themselves. Kate was enjoying herself more than she'd ever enjoyed anything and was content to sit and talk with Rick all night.

Once the dinner plates were cleared and the dessert menu was brought out, a comfortable lull ended the conversation. As Kate perused the menu, Rick took a deep breath and leveled her with a soft gaze. He cleared his throat and reached across the table to take her hand.

"Kate," Rick's voice was soft and warm and Kate looked up at once, a soft, happy smile on her face.

"Hmm?" Kate looked back down to the menu. She felt warm and fuzzy and knew it probably had something to do with the wine and fine food, but she suspected it also had something to do with the amazing man sitting across from her.

"Kate," Rick's voice was a bit more insistent this time and Kate looked up and held his gaze, forgetting dessert.

"We've known each other for three months now, but it seems like I've known you for a lifetime." Kate smiled and nodded, knowing exactly what Rick meant.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I'm in love with you. I would be unendingly happy if I could spend all my days with you." Kate's stomach flipped. This was beginning to feel oddly like a proposal. Was she okay with a proposal so soon?

"I realize you may not be ready to jump in so soon after…" Rick's voice drifted off. He didn't want to bring Adam up and risk ruining the night but resumed after only a beat.

"But please know that my love for you is real. And I will wait for as long as it takes for you to be ready. I want all of you, Kate." Kate fidgeted slightly, unsure of where Rick was going.

Rick looked down pulled a navy blue velvet box from his suit jacket and held it in his free hand for a moment. He looked back at Kate and saw the emotions in her face; confusion being the most prominent in her eyes. But the longer he looked, the clearer her other emotions became. Once he looked past the confusion, he saw love and desire. But he also saw fear and uncertainty. He knew he'd made the right choice with the item in the box and smiled softly at Kate.

"Someday, I'm going to make you my bride, but for now I think a promise will do." Rick flipped the box open and saw Kate's eyes widen before a soft gasp escaped her lips. She looked up at him quickly before looking back down at the ring.

"It's called a claddagh ring. The crown symbolizes loyalty, the heart represents love and the hands are a symbol of friendship. These rings are often given to symbolize a promise. When worn on your left hand with the heart facing you, it means that although you're not actually engaged, you are promised to be engaged." Kate's eyes flashed with stubborn indignation.

"You mean, like betrothed?" Annoyance seeped through her words and she had to bite her tongue before continuing. She looked up and saw a tinge of hurt in Rick's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Rick. I didn't mean for it to come out like that. Please go on."

"What I mean is that I understand it's too soon to ask you to be my wife, but this ring means that I love you and that I've chosen you. It's a promise of an engagement to come. The stone means something too. I picked the sapphire specifically for you because sapphires are said to symbolize healing and happiness; both of which are things I wish for you. It also represents patience, devotion and sincerity; all of which I possess for you." Rick looked up from the ring box to Kate's face.

Silent tears streamed down her cheeks and she was biting her lip. The hand that Rick held squeezed his softly and she looked down, taking a steadying breath. When she looked up again, a radiant smile shined through her tears.

"All I ask is that you wear this ring if you love me and choose me too, and someday in the future, I will ask for your hand in marriage." Kate laughed softly and reached up to squeeze Rick's hand with both of hers.

"So will you…wear the ring and accept my promise?" Rick's face was nervous but sure and Kate couldn't stop herself from leaning forward and kissing his lips firmly. She pulled back, but not all the way and whispered her answer against his mouth.

"Yes, always." She pulled back and looked Rick in the eyes.

"Yes, I accept your promise and offer one of my own. I love you and I choose you." It was Rick's turn to shed a few tears and laugh softly as he slid the beautiful ring onto Kate's left ring finger.

Kate held her hand up in front of her face, admiring the beautiful blue stone and its accent diamonds. She felt the breath leave her lungs as she realized the diamonds were real and had to equal at least a half carat and that with real diamonds and a real sapphire, it must have cost him a fortune. He loved her as much as he claimed if he was buying a _pre-_engagement ring.

"Do you want dessert or are you ready to go back to the loft?"

Rick had planned for their first official sleepover and Kate smiled broadly at the prospect of what the rest of the evening held. She held her hand up in front of her face again, admiring her new ring. Rick chuckled and ducked his head, feeling a blush creep over his cheeks.

"What do you need me for? You can swoon over your ring for the next 70 years!" Rick let out chuckle at his own joke and smiled when Kate laughed in amusement.

"I'm sorry, Rick. It's just so beautiful! I love it, and I love you." Her admission was quiet but heartfelt and Rick felt his stomach flutter in excitement.

"Wait, you had this in your jacket pocket this whole time?" Rick nodded.

"I wore the jacket and didn't notice." Kate looked baffled for a second but smiled broadly, squeezing Rick's hand again.

"So do you want to eat dessert here? I also have a few options back at the loft, along with some champagne for the ball dropping. We have about an hour and half before it drops, so we need to decide soon!" Kate smiled and reached for Rick's hand.

"Let's go."

They both stood and made their way toward the door. Rick paid the bill at the front and then draped his jacket over Kate's shoulders again. Surprisingly, the town car was waiting and they were tucked into the car's interior and on their way to the loft in just a few moments.

"This has been the best night." Kate's voice was soft and a little bit sleepy.

"You're not going to fall asleep on me again, are you?" Rick teased and lightly poked Kate's ribs.

"No, I'm not. Especially not with this gorgeous ring on my finger. I'm content to sit and stare at it all night…forget the ball dropping!"

The two chuckled and cuddled back into each other. Traffic had picked up significantly since they'd been in the restaurant and the drive to the loft that should have taken only 20 minutes took nearly 45 minutes. When the car finally stopped in front of Rick's building, both he and Kate were feeling very sleepy. He gently rubbed her arm and helped her from the car, supporting her weight all the way up to the top floor of the building. The elevator doors opened and Kate perked up. They approached the door to the loft and Kate looked at Rick expectantly. He smiled and kissed her softly before opening the door and leading her into the loft's inviting warmth.

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><p><strong>AN**: So, what do you think? REVIEWS, please! Also, just FYI, I DID do research on the ring and the sapphire. AND there are links to the ring and the dress on my page. Thanks for reading and please spread some holiday cheer by clicking the pretty blue button below!

PS- the next chapter can go two VERY different routes. As of right this moment, this fic is still rated **T**. However, for the next chapter, I can go **M** with the details of their first night together, or keep it relatively clean. Please tell me what you prefer, as I can write both! :-)


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: **Hello dear readers. I am so sorry for the long delay in posting this chapter. I had it mostly written when inspiration struck on my other story...and it's been far too long for those readers, so I felt I had to post that chapter first. Anyway...here it is. I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I feel like it has a lot of really good parts and a lot of plot development, which I feel is boring sometimes. I hope I wrote it in a way that doesn't bore you to tears. Thanks for reading, and I hope to have the next chapter written and posted by the weekend. Also, there is a teeny, tiny time jump in this chapter. Also, please expect that for the next chapter as well. Nothing huge...nothing more than a year.

I'm not going to even bother with a disclaimer today, because I am far too tired.

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><p>Although the night got off to a slow start, once Kate and Rick got back to his loft things became heated very quickly. To say that their first night together had been spectacular, mind blowing even, would be undercutting it. Neither had ever felt more happily sated or exhausted in their entire lives.<p>

After thoroughly overexerting their muscles, Kate and Rick fell into bed and found sleep immediately. Their own private celebration had caused them to miss the countdown to the New Year and the ball dropping in Times Square, but they didn't mind.

Kate awoke around four in the morning and rolled over slowly, her muscles aching in protest. Rick was fast asleep on his stomach with his arm slung low over Kate's hips. She smiled softly and reached out to trace Rick's face.

He looked so much younger in sleep and Kate knew it was because he wasn't constantly worrying. Though he projected confidence, Kate knew that Rick had some insecurities and fears that were constantly at play. She knew he feared her rejection. She knew he would rather die than see one of his loved one's in pain. She knew he worried for Alexis –and for Olivia, for that matter –about the future and what it would mean to grow up with only one parent.

The need to lean down and kiss him was insatiable and even as she did it, Kate felt bad because she knew it would wake him. He stirred under her feather soft touches, but didn't wake. Now Kate _wanted_ him awake. She kissed him again and leaned her naked body more fully into his side. She felt his lips move under hers and smiled when his arm gripped her around her waist.

"What a wonderful wake up call." Rick's voice was cloudy with sleep and tinged with desire. Kate smiled and felt very proud of herself for having woken Rick out of a dead slumber. Kate stayed quiet but realization began to dawn on Rick's face

"Kate, it's still dark outside, what time is it?" She smiled sheepishly and leaned down to kiss him again.

"It's only just past four. I was awake and I just –" Kate felt guilty all over again and ducked her head to hid the guilty smile and blush that crept over her face.

"I know what you just…" Rick laughed and hauled Kate from his side to rest on top of him.

"My, my, my are you an early riser. I guess we will have to take advantage of this!"

Kate giggled as Castle flipped them again so he was hovering over her. They could each see the love shining in the other's eyes as they resumed their activities from the previous night.

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><p>"Mommy!"<p>

"Daddy!"

Came the simultaneous shouts when Rick and Kate entered her apartment later that morning. Each parent was attacked with giant bear hugs from their daughters, before the girls switched and hugged the other adult.

Jim stood back, observing the make shift family. He noted how happy his daughter looked and couldn't help but with that his wife could be there watching this happy moment too. Kate seemed to sense her dad's thoughts and looked up to meet his sad smile. She returned it with one of her own and excused herself to the kitchen. Jim knew to follow and Rick knew to keep the girls occupied.

"You're happy, Katie." Kate smiled as her father's obvious statement.

"I am, Dad." It was Jim's turn to smile.

"I wish your mother could be here to see how happy you are." Kate looked down, brushing back a strand of hair that fell in her face. It was then that Jim noticed the ring on her left hand.

"Kate! Did he –" Kate looked up at her father's gasp and followed his gaze to her left hand. She fought the urge to hide her hand and looked back to meet her father's eyes.

"No, Dad, he didn't. But this is sort of a pre-engagement ring." Jim didn't quite catch the implied meaning and shot Kate a confused look.

"I guess it's sort of like a promise ring. It Rick and I realizing that it's a bit too soon to get engaged, but knowing that is where we are headed."

"Do people usually give rings for something so…" Jim trailed off, not knowing how to finish his statement.

"Ordinary? Engagement is an ordinary thing, but Rick wanted to show me how serious he is about this relationship. I was skeptical at first too, but I really like the weight of meaning behind the ring."

They were both quiet for a long moment before Jim stood up from the bar stool he'd been seated on and cleared his throat.

"I like him, and Alexis. They're good for you and Liv. It shows me a lot about this man's character that he cares for Olivia as his own. It's not easy to love another man's child." He took a step closer to Kate and pulled her into a hug.

"And I know your mom would have understood the ring thing better than me. She'd have been so happy for you. I'm glad to know he's serious about you, Katie. And I hope that he loves you better than Adam did." Jim felt the tensing of Kate's muscles at the mention of her late husband.

"I know you don't like to talk about him, but –" Jim took a step away from Kate, allowing his hands to drop to his side before he continued. "Sometimes the subject needs to be broached."

Kate nodded, but couldn't fight the sudden anger that rose in her chest. She clenched her fists and swallowed back tears.

"Katie, I will always be grateful to him for giving us Olivia, but for every good he did that man had ten flaws. He didn't love you the way a man should love his wife. He was gone to much and didn't appreciate you."

Kate lost her battle and the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. Jim knew not to wipe them away, for these were tears that needed to fall.

"But Rick –now there's a man who absolutely adores you." Jim's voice changed when he spoke Rick's name. Kate looked up and saw a soft smile on her dad's face.

"That man loves you and your daughter. He treasures you for the jewel you are. The way that man treats you is the way you should be treated. He's a keeper, Katie. Don't let him get away."

Kate's tears had changed from angry, regretful tears to happily overwhelmed tears. Jim had said his piece and had patted Kate on the arm before walking to gather his things. Kate wiped her face and took a few deep breaths before joining everyone to say goodbye to Jim.

Both girls were hugging him tightly and Kate smiled as Jim stooped to their heads. When they pulled away, Jim walked to Rick and pulled him into a hug, clapping his back and commenting on what a good man Rick was. Finally, Jim hugged Kate and whispered how much he loved her and how he was just so happy for her.

"Bye Pops!" Alexis and Olivia cried in unison as he finally walked out the door.

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><p>"So does this mean you're my new mommy, Kate?" Alexis' joy was barely concealed as she eyed the ring on Kate's left hand.<p>

"Well –" Kate didn't know how to answer. She knew that things were complicated and she shouldn't make a promise to Alexis that could possibly be broken.

"That's exactly what this means, Lex." Rick supplied Kate with an answer and with a gaze so meaningful, Kate nearly lost her breath.

"And Liv, that means my daddy is your daddy!" Alexis' joy bubbled over as an unbridled giggle erupted from her little mouth.

"Yay!" Olivia squealed and got up to dance with Alexis, though Kate was unsure how much she actually understood about what was going on.

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><p>Four months had passed and Kate and Olivia had officially moved into the Castles' loft. Although all of their old furniture remained at Kate's apartment, the Beckett girls had been living at the loft. In fact, Rick had the loft redecorated with his two new girls in mind. Kate and Olivia had both had their say in choices on furniture, paint colors and room décor.<p>

The wall between the guest bedroom and Alexis' bedroom had been partially knocked down, to create a large room, with a piece of a wall separating the space into halves for each other girls. The part of the room, where the full wall used to be, was turned into a common area for the girls. Since Olivia had chosen pink for her room and Alexis already had a purple theme, the common space was decorated in a mixture of pinks and purples.

The common space was home to two oversized chairs, covered in off-white fabric –one with pink and purple polka dots and the other with pink and purple stripes. There was also a flat screen TV, a Nintendo Wii, and a blue-ray DVD player; complete with every game and movie sure to interest the girls that Rick could get his hands on.

Alexis' room had been redone at Kate's insistence. She hadn't wanted Alexis to feel left out when practically the entire house was getting a makeover. Rick didn't mind, and it wasn't as if he couldn't afford it. Besides, he'd do anything to make his girls happy.

Alexis' room was decorated in hues of purple. The walls were painted soft lavender. She'd chosen a simple, full-sized wrought iron bed. The tapestries and linens were all in neutral colors and purples hues. She also had chosen a nightstand, dresser and matching bookcase for her room, and Rick and Kate had the forethought to add a desk to the space, so that she would have a place for homework.

Olivia's room was of course, pink. She had surprised Rick and Kate though, when instead of choosing hot pink for her walls, she picked a light shade of pink. It was subtle and not at all overwhelming. Olivia had surprised her parents again when she'd chosen a 'grown-up,' full-sized swirly iron bed. Olivia's tapestries and linens were light pink and green. She'd also gotten a fairly plain white nightstand and matching dresser, as well as the same sturdy white desk they'd bought for Alexis.

When Olivia asked for a tree in her room, Rick hired a muralist to come and paint one on the wall. Alexis had been so excited, that Rick requested him to paint one in her room too. The finished product was a small forest of trees. Every tree was different and they were painted in light colors, so that they didn't overwhelm the spaces. Leaves and flowers were painted on individually and every tree looked delicate and beautiful, much like the two girls living under them.

The girls couldn't have been more pleased with their rooms, and once clothing and toys were moved back in, Kate and Rick could hardly get the girls to come out.

Rick asked Kate to help him redesign his room, so that it became _their_ room. They chose a soft tan for the walls and a king-sized bed to place in the center of the large room, against the wall opposite of the bathroom. The bed was dressed in a fluffy white down comforter with silvery grey and green accent pillows. Above the bed, on the way, the words 'always kiss me goodnight' were painted by the muralist, accompanied by large, blown up black and white photo of the two of them. Framing each side of the picture of them are photos of each of the girls, both blown up in black and white as well. There is also a small sitting area, with comfy wingback chairs in the same silvery grey as their pillows. A small table and floor lamp accompany the area that's just in front of the large windows that look out onto the city.

The kitchen and living room had been warm and welcoming to begin with, so Rick and Kate didn't change that. Rick did have hard wood flooring installed all throughout the upstairs of the loft (with a heating feature), so the multiple rugs that were also purchased to dress the floors were more for beauty than for practicality. Every bathroom had been redone, as well as Rick's office and another seldom used room that had been converted into a space for Kate's own use.

There had been a team of about ten men who had constantly traipsed through the loft. Rick, Kate and their girls tried to stay while the construction was being done, but when one of the workers had accidentally walked in on Kate while she was in the shower, Rick had demanded they move out until the renovations were complete.

Rick had set them up at the Plaza, of course in the penthouse suit. While they all enjoyed their time there, they were happy and relieved when they were allowed to move back into the loft. The entire project had taken a little more than two months and had cost Rick more than he wanted to admit to Kate, but Kate knew that it was for the good of their family. Sure, they would have been more than comfortable in the loft as it was, but Rick wanted Kate and Olivia to truly feel that they belonged at the loft and that they belonged with him and Alexis.

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><p><strong>AN:** How was it? Reviews, please and thank you. More coming soon, but only if I get lots of feedback. You guys are slacking! ;-) Kidding...sort of. Also, I'm exhausted from working all day (on my break too!) and didn't edit this chapter as much as I usually edit. As always, all mistakes are my own and I truly apologize for them. I try to be very careful not to post anything that I wouldn't hand in as a final draft.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Hello! Here's your next chapter. I lied about the jump in time...it's not quite a year, more like 8 months. I hope you enjoy. I feel like I had something important to say, but I've forgotten. But what I do remember is all the AWESOME reviews I got for the previous chapter. Thank you all so much, I felt so much love that I wanted to get another chapter to you quickly! But, I won't be writing for a few days because it's Christmas Eve and I have family coming into town. Happy holidays! Send me a review and tell me what winter holiday you celebrate. I would love to know the background of my readers.

Clearly, Castle and it's characters don't belong to me. But all the creative elements of this story, characters that are **not** from the show and the creative liberties I take with the characters we all know and love ARE mine, so please do not steal them. That hurts my feelings and is the fastest way for us to not be friends anymore.

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><p>Summer had passed in a bleary daze. It had been the hottest summer on record <em>ever <em>in New York and Kate, Rick, Olivia and Alexis had spent the summer indoors eating ice cream, at swimming pools, at the house in the Hamptons and wishing on every shooting star for an early winter. Although summer had passed slowly, it was already time to go back to school.

Kate stood at the front door, pulling her already sweat soaked shirt away from her body. It was only 7 in the morning, _for crying out lout!_ She went back over her list of things to take to work. Once she'd approved that she had everything she needed, she checked her watch.

"Liv, where are you? What's keeping you?" Kate's voice rang out in the silence of the loft.

It was the first day of school for the girls. Alexis was going into third grade and Olivia was starting kindergarten. Both girls were overjoyed about the prospect of being in the same school but when the actual day arrived and they had to be up before the sun, the idea no longer seemed as marvelous.

Kate stood at the door waiting rather impatiently for Olivia. Rick and Alexis were already downstairs in the lobby waiting for them. Olivia finally came tearing down the stairs. She clutched something in her hand and yanked it away when Kate reached for her arm.

"Olivia, what are you holding?" Olivia shook her head, refusing to speak.

"Liv, we really don't have time for this today. You and Lex are already late for school and Mommy and Daddy will be late for work if you don't stop fooling around." Kate held out her palm and gave Olivia one of her newly minted signature mom looks. She'd had much practice at perfecting them over the summer, with two young girls to keep track of and entertain. It was a look of chastisement and spoke "no funny business." Olivia looked up at her mom and let her shoulders and head drop as she opened her small hand above Kate's larger, outstretched hand.

A warm necklace dropped into Kate's hand and as she looked at it more carefully, tears welled in her eyes. The chain of the necklace was the only piece of jewelry that Adam had ever bought for Olivia. It was a simple silver chain. The uniform circle links were tiny and delicate. Adam hadn't thought of buying a locket or pendant for the necklace, but Olivia had loved it just the same. A tiny round pendant hung from the end of the chain. It was the daisy charm that Rick had bought for Olivia and had the words _I love you _etched into the back of it.

Kate met her daughter's eyes and marveled at the significance of the necklace in her hand. It was all her daughter had left of her father and the promise of a new family and a new future. Rick had taken to referring to his girls as his garden of flowers. Olivia was his daisy, Alexis his buttercup and Kate his lily. Kate thought his choices were random, but Rick always claimed to have reasoning behind his pick of flowers.

"I want to have them with me today." Olivia's whispered voice snapped Kate out of her thoughts.

"Who, baby?" Kate knew exactly who, but she wanted to know if Olivia did.

"Both of my daddies." Olivia's eyes were wide and innocent and Kate knew if they continued with this line of conversation, they'd both break down into tears.

"Do you want to talk about it, sweetheart?" Olivia avoided Kate's eyes and stuck her hand out to grab her necklace.

"No, just that my other daddy wanted to be here today. He told me all the time…before. He said he was gonna spoil me on my first day of big girl school and take me to the ice cream shop to get anything I want. And now…"

Olivia's eyes were rapidly filling with tears as her voice broke off on a shuddering breath. Kate's heart broke and she reached down to comfort Olivia, but as her hand met Olivia's tiny shoulder, the girl shrugged her shoulder away and wiped her face before walking out the door. Kate was left standing in surprise for a short moment, before she shook her head and locked the door.

~C&B~

"There you girls are. We were getting worried!" Rick's voice was cheerful and sunny; exactly what the Beckett girls needed on such an unassumingly sad day.

"Are we all set?" Rick noticed the heaviness from his girls and looked between Kate and Olivia.

He mouthed _"is everything okay?"_ to Kate. She shrugged and ran her hand over Olivia's soft hair. She motioned for the door and the four walked out into the early September heat.

The ride to the school was quiet. Alexis sensed the uneasiness in her family members and kept quiet. Olivia still clutched the necklace in her hand and Alexis noticed, but when she looked at her sister's sad face, she thought better of asking what it was.

After what seemed an eternity of time had passed, the SUV had finally pulled up in front of the girls' school. Kate looked up at the imposing building, feeling her stomach turn. She shouldn't be nervous, but she was. Claremont Prep was one of the best schools in the city, and at nearly $35,000 a year, Kate had made Rick swear it was one of the best. He also said it was never too early to invest in his daughters' schooling.

Kate took a calming breath and helped Alexis and Olivia out of the car. She squatted down in front of Olivia and motioned to the necklace. Olivia handed it to Kate and turned around as Kate clipped the chain to Olivia's tiny neck. Kate smiled and kissed both girls before taking their hands. Rick rounded the car with two tiny, girly backpacks in his hands. He handed the purple one to Alexis and the pink one to Olivia and smoothed the peter pan collars on each other their standard issue uniform shirts. He stood back up and together, the family walked into the school, preparing themselves for a big day.

The girls had been pre-registered for school and the entire family had attended orientation the day before, so there were no problems when the group stopped at administration. Upon the girls' insistence, both parents accompanied both girls to class; Olivia first, followed by Alexis. The girls giggled all the way to the first classroom because their shoes made tiny clicks on the tile as they walked down the silent hallway.

Olivia had been momentarily cautious, not straying from her family's side. Once she observed her classmates for a few moments and realized there would only be a dozen other kids, she slowly walked away from her parents and sister, looking back only once. Olivia sat down with two other kids; a boy and a girl. Rick mentally named them _Dimples _and _Braids_, respectively_._ Rick and Kate waited for a few moments, but when the teacher smiled and waved, they took their leave with Alexis in tow.

Although Alexis was the more outgoing of the two, she was also the new girl and took her time watching her peers before joining them. Both girls were new this year because Alexis' previous school was grades 2 and up. Rick and Kate wanted their girls to be in the same school for as long as they could be. After a few moments, Alexis spotted a blonde girl with pigtails in the corner looking at books. She smiled at her parents and skipped off to talk to _Pigtails_. Rick and Kate left quietly once she was happy and settled.

~C&B~

"What was with you and Liv back at the loft. Did something happen?" Rick had been quiet for the first few minutes of their drive from Claremont to the precinct. Rick had reached across the console to hold Kate's hand and was absently rubbing her knuckle.

"Liv put the daisy pendant you gave her on the silver chain that Adam bought for her."

"A silver chain that Adam bought?" Rick glanced at Kate in confusion.

"It was the only jewelry he ever bought for Olivia and he actually gave it to her just before he died. She told me she wanted to have both of her daddies with her on her big day."

Rick sighed in understanding and was glad that Olivia wanted Adam to be part of her day. But he couldn't help but wonder if he'd always stand in Adam's shadow when it came to his youngest girl. He immediately pushed the thought out of his head as selfish and petty and decided to love Olivia as best as he could and accept her baggage, just as he accepted Kate's. He kicked himself again at the thought of his daughter's dead father being baggage.

"She told me that Adam promised to take her out for ice cream when he picked her up from her first day of kindergarten." Kate was quiet for a few minutes, her head turned away from Rick, looking out the window.

"Oh, Adam. How could you promise something like that to our baby?" She wanted to say more, but quiet sobs choked out her words. Rick looked over in alarm and nearly hit the car in front of him.

"Rick, is this ever going to get easier? I mean, I love you more than words can express, but I just have this hole inside of me that's just like when my mom died." Rick reached up and rubbed away the falling tears that his fingers could reach.

"I can't say that I know the answer to that, Kate. I've never lost someone in the way that you and Olivia have lost. But I can promise to keep loving you." Kate gave Rick a watery smile and reached up to grab the wrist of the hand that was still settled on her cheek.

"I will love you and Liv through this, okay? I know I can't ever replace him, because he's a part of you. But I can love you enough that it doesn't hurt for him to be part of you anymore. Does that make sense?" Rick went back over the words in his head, feeling like they came out a jumbled mess.

"Yes, that makes perfect sense. Thank you, sweetie." Kate leaned into Rick's touch and let the term of endearment to slip effortlessly out of her mouth. Kate had grown so comfortable in her relationship with Rick that she let all manner of pet names out of her mouth when talking to Rick.

"And we can take the girls to ice cream tonight. I know it won't be the same, but maybe it can be good enough?" Kate smiled at Rick's unintentional question and squeezed his hand in confirmation.

When Kate looked away from Rick's eyes and back at the passing cars and buildings, she realized they were just a block away from the precinct. She let go of Rick's hand has he maneuvered the SUV into a parking space just outside of the 12th. Kate let a victorious smile spread across her face. They _never_ got such a close parking space, even with her police cruiser.

~C&B~

Rick had been shadowing Kate at the precinct since January and was preparing for his entrance into the police academy. Kate rolled her eyes when Rick told her he had to get ready; after all, he was going up against a bunch of buff, fresh-faced young men. He said he felt old and fat and Kate couldn't keep the mirth out of her eyes when he eyed his waistline in the mirror as he complained.

Captain Montgomery had worked out a deal that completely weighed in Kate and Rick's favor. After graduating from the police academy, people were _usually _put on traffic patrol or desk duty. Rookie cops _never_ got to see action like Kate and the guys. But since Montgomery was the captain of the 12th and could put his new recruits wherever he wanted them, he said he could waive Rick's mandatory newbie assignment.

Kate and Rick had been overjoyed, and although they tried to play it cool, Ryan and Esposito were just as thrilled. Rick was signed up for the rigorous 12 week training program. Rick was nervous, even though he was being granted more than a few leniencies on training and testing. For one, Rick was too old to be admitted as a police academy student, but again Captain Montgomery had signed a few papers that allowed Rick to apply and be accepted anyway. Rick also wouldn't have to serve any official time in the lower ranks of police work –he was going to attend the academy, take a few tests and be classified as an investigating detective, just like Kate and the guys.

The guys liked to joke around with Rick that he'd be a _junior_ detective, not privy to all of the privileges that they were accustomed to. Kate had set them straight, saying that if they messed with her man, they'd be in trouble.

That was another thing the Captain was overlooking. It wasn't typically allowed for two of New York's finest to be in a serious relationship. The added level of intimacy and emotions were said to have an ill effect on officers. If a loved one was in danger, heads weren't thinking clearly and people got hurt. The Captain laughed when he thought about it though, because Kate was, by far, the best cop he'd ever seen in his twenty-some-odd years as an officer, and he knew without a doubt that she wouldn't let her love for Rick get in the way of her job. And from what he knew of Kate personally, she wouldn't let Rick jeopardize the job for his love for her.

~C&B~

It was the night before Rick's first day of police academy training and he was pacing the floor. Kate was sprawled in bed with one hand propping up her head, watching Rick with amused eyes. He'd been studying the police handbook for weeks, even though he wouldn't be taking his written test for 12 more weeks. Rick claimed that all the "young –ins" would know everything already and he'd be at a disadvantage if he didn't know as much as them. He said he already felt weird, knowing that he'd be granted allowances by the Captain, when the other guys would have no given advantages.

"Rick, honey, you've got to stop pacing. It's going to be okay." Kate's voice was soft and loving.

"I don't know if I'm ready. I mean, this is big. I've never done anything like this before." Kate shook her head.

"What about the military?" Rick stopped abruptly and his head snapped to focus his vision on Kate.

"Ryan and Espo said that you had alluded to a military background the first time you met them." Kate's eyes danced in curiosity. The couple rarely spoke of their pasts, feeling it dredged up unneeded drama.

"Oh, that." Rick's voice fell flat. "I was in the army for a few years, back when I was a kid. I got an honorable discharge." Rick provided no more information and Kate sensed that it needed to be left alone, for now anyway.

"Well, I'm sure the training won't be as bad as the training for the military had to have been. I mean, _I've_ gone through police academy. It's honestly not so bad."

"Yeah, but Kate you were young…like what, twenty-one when you went through?"

"Twenty-five, actually."

"Still, Kate, that's seventeen years younger than I am right now. AND! I'm 12 years older than I even should be." Rick scratched his head, a wonderfully worried look crossing his face. Kate couldn't help but laugh out loud.

"Rick, you're going to be fine."

"But what if the other kids don't like me?" Kate chuckled again at the childlike whine in Rick's voice.

"Come to bed. I'll quiz you until we fall asleep." Rick weighed his options for a moment and finally decided his best bet was to be snuggled up beside Kate. Acquiescing, Rick pulled his thin t-shirt over his head and crawled into the soft sheets beside Kate. He was soon settled and Kate cleared her throat, thinking of her first question.

"It's you and me. We're in an old warehouse, chasing down a killer with a kidnap victim that he intends to murder. Visibility is limited, so can't just rely on sight –we have to rely on all of our senses. We're careful, but suddenly we find ourselves in a bad situation." Rick raptly hung onto Kate's every word.

"The killer has the gun to my head and wants to make a deal. He wants you drop your weapon, call off the backup and take the victim to safety, but only if he can have me as a trade. What's your next move?"

Rick contemplated for a moment, and Kate felt proud he didn't impulsively blurt that he'd save Kate.

"I'd save you." Rick's voice was soft but unwavering. Kate frowned, overturning her earlier thought.

"What if the victim was a teenager?"

Rick contemplated again.

"I'd still save you." Kate's frown deepened.

"Rick, this teenager is someone's child. It's Alexis in eight years, or Olivia in ten."

Rick's eyes clouded for a moment and Kate could see the conflict behind his eyes.

"Kate, I don't like this scenario. They aren't really going to give this kind of test to me during training, are they?"

"No, Rick, but for argument's sake, something like this really could happen. It's so important for you to have a clear head, especially when I'm involved. But when we're out there, I'm your partner, not your wife –er –girlfriend. I know you want to save us both, but you have to do what's best for the victim first."

Rick remained quiet for a moment and Kate felt his grip on her body tighten infinitesimally.

"I wouldn't take his deal." Kate tried to cover her smile as Rick finally decided on the correct answer.

"What about your gun? Do you fire?" Rick shook his head furiously.

"No, he still has his own gun pointed at your head. My best course of action is to try to talk him down. Get him to falter for a moment so you can grab the victim and I can tackle him to the ground." The smile that overtook Kate's face was too broad to hide. She felt proud of Rick, but had to make absolute sure that he would do the right thing.

"The victim is an 8-year-old girl. The killer is holding his gun to the girl's face. She's adorable and reminds you of our girls and she's crying. She's so scared and it's up to you to save her. The killer has an accomplice and he has me pinned to the ground with a gun to my head. If you make the wrong move, the killer and his accomplice shoot and you loose us both."

Rick was quiet for so long that Kate thought he'd fallen asleep.

"Rick?" Kate's voice was a whispered call into the dark of their room.

"I look for the killer's humanity. I try to pull it out of him. If I can get him to question his actions for even a minute, I can get you both to safety."

"But if it comes down to it, who do you save first? Either way, it's certain death for whomever you don't save first." Kate thought she'd trapped him. He was quiet and even though the dark of night mostly camouflaged Rick's body, she saw the wrinkles in his forehead as he worked through the scenario.

"All of my cards have been dealt. I slowly set my gun down, knowing that there's back up just outside. I don't approach either man because they are both feeling freaked out at this point. I talk to the killer, try to show him _my_ humanity. I tell him about my family, not mentioning that you're the woman in my story. I tell him about how great it is to be loved and I make a point to draw his thoughts to his own family." Rick voice went quiet and a soft pause filled the room.

"I ask him to think about the people who love him and how they would feel about what he and his friend are about to do. I ask him if he will be able to live with killing someone's little girl and someone's wife, mother, daughter." Rick wanted to go on, but Kate's soft kiss against his cheek was all that Rick needed to know that he'd finally found the right answer.

"You will do just fine, Rick."

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><p><strong>AN:** Thoughts? Also, I'd like to make a quick shout-out to some of my readers who left nice reviews! **LadyAilith, AliasCSINYFriendsER, keal, lauritacastle, rebelliousflower89** (Sorry for our awkward encounter over PM!), ** Madje Knotts, VIOLET1213, tillersaurous, **and the always lovely and loquacious **Livz-Purple.** Your sweet reviews made my day. Thank you **ALL** for reading and supporting my story in favorites and alerts- you are wonderful as well!

Happy holidays and see you all soon!


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: **Hello and I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. This chapter takes place in December of 2011, which means that our dear family has finally caught up with us! I'm sorry for skipping over stuff (because a few of you expressed a desire to read about Rick's time in the academy) but when I started writing, this is what came out. So we're at Rick's graduation and the girls' adoptions. Please forgive me for the legal terminology (or lack thereof) with the adoptions. I wanted it to be short, and I'm sorry if it's not realistic. I was only 7 when I was adopted by my dad, so I don't remember what actually happened. I also apologize if anything else that deals with legal stuff is incorrect. I didn't do a ton of research for that stuff and just wrote what made sense. Anyway, please enjoy!

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><p>"Can I please have everyone's attention?" Captain Roy Montgomery's voice rang out over the buzz of voices in the precinct. Upon hearing his strong, commanding voice, every person in the bullpen grew quiet and turned to look at the captain.<p>

"I have a very important announcement to make today that holds a great deal of importance and is especially close to my heart." Everyone looked around, not used to hearing the Captain speak in such a heartfelt way.

"Today, I want to call attention to Richard Castle, our newest investigating detective here at the 12th. Everyone please give Rick a hand for making it through his training and passing his exams with the highest score since our lovely Kate Beckett." Applause and shouts of congratulations erupted in the room as Rick made his way to where the Captain was standing.

Montgomery patted Rick on the back and shook his hand, with the broadest smile on his face that anyone had ever seen. Montgomery made a gun and badge appear from nowhere and handed them to Rick. Kate and the girls were standing nearby, beaming with pride. Kate snapped a photo of Rick and Captain Montgomery.

Hoots and hollers continued to sound around the precinct as everyone was told of Rick's accomplishments. Rick had completed the 12 week police academy course and had nearly aced his exams. As the Captain had mentioned, Rick's test scores were the highest on record, scoring second only to Kate's scores. This was something that Kate teased Rick mercilessly about. He'd only missed her score by a few points on each test and Kate made sure to rub it in his face…in a joking way, of course.

"Rick, I am so proud of you! You can finally be my _real_ partner and carry a gun. You won't be dead weight anymore!" Kate winked at Rick and gave him a saucy grin. He pretended to be affronted and clutched at his heart, making a pained expression. Kate giggled and Rick couldn't help but join her joyful laughter.

"Yay! Daddy's a cop too!" Olivia's tiny voice carried over the chattering and cheering of all the other voices in the precinct and a collective bout of laughter rang out.

"We should take Daddy out to dinner. You guys always take me to dinner when I do something good or special. Today is Daddy's special day." Alexis looked up at Kate hopefully and a look of joy and relief washed over her face when Kate smiled and nodded.

"Of course we should take Daddy out. He did better than every person in his training class; even if he is the oldest of them all!" Kate wore another sassy smile and Rick gently poked her in the ribs, telling her he knew she was just teasing.

After the family had each eaten a slice of congratulatory cake, Kate had ushered her brood to the elevator, calling goodbye to her work family over her shoulder. The elevator carried them to the ground floor and Rick led his girls to the doors that would take them out into the cold of the quickly approaching winter. Though it was December, it was still in the warmer realm of winter weather for New York and not much snow had fallen. What had fallen had melted with the next day's rising sun.

Though the summer had been incredibly hot, Kate was glad that the winter wasn't as cold as it usually was. Kate and Rick were planning to throw an adoption party after they adopted each other's daughters and she didn't want snow and ice ruining the party. She wasn't a typical 'party person'; she didn't go all out for birthday parties and didn't particularly like to go to lavish parties. But she felt the adoptions were a big enough event and her family was deserving of a party to celebrate their legal integration from two separate family units into one, cohesive family.

Their court date was set for the day before Christmas Eve, which was convenient because it was the last day that the court was open until the New Year. With only four days until the adoptions, Kate and Rick had to work their way through their third round of paperwork that would assure that everything went smoothly and without a hitch. Rick had already contacted Alexis' mother, who hadn't seen the girl since she was a baby, to ask her to terminate her parental rights to Alexis. The woman had never been interested in Alexis and she still didn't show an interest. Though she didn't want to be in Alexis' life in any way, she _did_ want Alexis to have a good life with a mother who would love and care for her. She was more than happy to sign the papers that Rick faxed. She faxed the papers back the same day and Rick received a handwritten letter from her two days later.

_Richard,, _

_Please accept my apology for never being what Alexis needs. Please know that even though I haven't been anything but an egg-donor for you and Alexis, I still love Alexis. That may sound crazy, but I truly do. I wish you and Alexis all the happiness this world can offer and I hope that this new woman is everything I wasn't and never can be. I hope you've picked someone better than me (and less selfish) who will take care of Alexis and be what a mother should be. Congratulations on Alexis' adoption and your impending marriage. I heard you're adopting your fiancés daughter as well; congratulations on that too. Please accept a small token of well wishes for all of your happy news and as a much overdue apology to you and Alexis for my neglect. I'm so happy for you both, and again, I'm sorry. _

_Cordially, _

_Meredith _

In the envelope along with her letter was a check written to Alexis for $15,000. Though Meredith had always had some wealth, Rick didn't know how Meredith could afford to fork over that kind of money on a whim. The letter instructed him to just accept it and not ask questions and since it was made out to Alexis, he put the money in his bank account and told Kate that their court expenses for the adoptions had been taken care of.

As an unspoken, general rule, neither Kate nor Rick voluntarily offered information regarding past relationships. It made them both uncomfortable and their motto as a family was "keep moving forward." It didn't mean that any of them would forsake their pasts, but they wouldn't dwell on them either.

~C&B~

"Alexis, Olivia, please come downstairs. We really need to leave." Rick was standing at the foot of the stairs, exasperated. The family was rushing around, trying to get ready to be at the courthouse in time for their appointment. It was an important day and everyone had a case of nerves.

""Alexis, Olivia, NOW!" Rick very rarely raised his voice to anyone, especially his children. Truth be told, he was more nervous than he let on. He was terrified that something would go wrong and that either he or Kate would be denied legal parental rights of either of their girls.

"Rick, honey, we're okay on time. Please don't shout. I know you're nervous; we're all nervous." Kate spoke softly as she walked over to her fiancé. She soothingly rubbed his back as she pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I love you. This is going to be perfect. Everything is going to go according to plan and at the end of the day; the girls will belong to both of us. Tomorrow is our party and the day after that is Christmas. Nothing can ruin such an important day!"

Kate's words were effective at subduing some of Rick's uneasiness. Kate felt the tension leave his body as she hugged him in her arms. Rick took a deep breath and dropped a kiss to Kate's hair. Kate knew he needed just a moment more of her arms around him and was happy to oblige.

"You go downstairs and get the car warmed up. I'll go see what's keeping the girls and we will meet you down in front in a few minutes, okay?" Rick nodded his assent and squeezed Kate one last time before pulling away from her.

Kate turned to watch Rick for a second, before turning and walking up the stairs. Her feet slowed as she near the girls' bedrooms. Both girls were in Alexis' bedroom, talking in hushed tones. Their voices sounded scared and Kate felt her heart twinge. She quietly knocked and pushed the partially open door, fully open. She smiled softly as she took in her girls. Alexis was sitting on the floor, an extremely worried expression wrinkling her forehead. Olivia was squatting beside her, watching her intently.

"Hey pretty girls, everything okay in here?" Both girls nodded and stood.

"Are you ready to go? Daddy's waiting in the car." Both girls nodded but didn't move to follow Kate out the door.

"What's wrong?" Olivia looked at Alexis and they shared a 'sister moment.' Kate had no idea what had just been silently communicated, but it warmed her heart that Olivia and Alexis had so quickly accepted each other as family.

"Come on, I'm your mommy. You can tell me anything." Kate smiled in what she hoped was a reassuring way and took a few steps closer, bending over to be eye level with the girls.

"What if they say 'no'?" Olivia was the one who voiced, what Kate guessed was, Alexis' concern. She smiled and pulled them both into her arms, kissing their heads.

"No, no, no. Girls, they will _not_ say 'no.' The judges will do what's best for you two, and Daddy and I are what's best." Kate felt Alexis shake her head.

"But what about my other mommy –the one who didn't want me? What if she comes back and takes me away?" Alexis was crying softly and Kate felt the girl's warm tears seep through her sweater.

"Lex, that will not happen. Your other mommy signed a paper saying that you can be mine now. She won't ever come back to take you away. I promise." The determination in Kate's promise was enough for Alexis and she lifted her head and offered Kate a watery smile.

"C'mon, let's go. Daddy's waiting!" Kate smiled as she stood, taking her girls' hands and leading them out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Together, the three girls put on coats and scarves. Kate helped the girls into beanies and mittens before pulling on gloves of her own.

At long last, Rick saw Kate and the girls finally emerge from the building. A surprising gust of cold air hit them as they opened the doors and Rick saw the girls shiver and giggle between themselves. They hurried to the car and Kate boosted the girls into the car before quickly climbing in herself, shutting the door and sealing out the cold.

"Everything okay?" Kate nodded and reached out to take Rick's hand.

"Everything's perfect; let's go." Kate's smile was all Rick needed to put the car into drive and start their journey to the courthouse.

After nearly an hour of driving through traffic and an unexpected rain shower, Rick, Kate and the girls finally arrived at the courthouse. Rick dropped the girls off at the front so that they didn't have to trudge through the cold, rainy weather and parked the car. He met them some time later and together, the makeshift family entered the courthouse to become an official family.

They checked in and were told which court to wait outside of. Since it was just a civil case, not one dealing with any kind of crime, they would wait for the judge to call for them and once he saw the family and affirmed that it was in the best interest of the girls to be legal dependants of each adult, he would sign some papers and draw the case closed.

Rick and Kate sat nervously outside of the courtroom while Alexis and Olivia talked and laughed quietly between themselves. After a torturously long wait, a bailiff came out of the doors to their right and announced that it was their turn to speak to the judge.

The room was smaller than everyone expected. The courtrooms that Kate and Rick typically saw the inside of were criminal courtrooms and had a panel of judges and many witnesses. In this courtroom, there was only a judge, a bailiff and a transcriber. Kate felt much of her nervousness leave as she surveyed the room.

"This is legal case RPS8766239 regarding Richard Castle and Katherine Beckett in the intent to adopt Olivia Beckett and Alexis Castle, respectively." The judge looked up and smiled warmly at the family.

"Good morning, my name is Judge Lewis and I'll be officiating this adoption today. You may all have a seat at that table." She smiled again and pointed, indicating a small table with four chairs that sat just feet from her small podium.

"Because this case is dealing with such young children, I will try to skip over some of the lengthier legal terms and make this simple." Judge Lewis flipped through some of her papers before looking up again, eyes directed at Kate.

"It says here in my paperwork that both girls are to share the last name 'Castle' but there are no legal documents stating that that is also your last name." Kate stood and shifted nervously.

"Richard and I aren't married yet, but will be in a couple of weeks. Our wish is for both girls to have the same last name as my fiancé. I will take his name after our marriage and I've already filed for a legal name change. At this time, we're waiting for the application to be accepted." Judge Lewis smiled and nodded. She leaned back in her chair and whispered something to her bailiff. He disappeared through a back door and the judge turned to face the family again.

"If you don't mind, we're going to take a quick break. Feel free to get a soda or stretch your legs and we will reconvene in fifteen minutes." Kate looked nervously at Rick and stood, pulling Olivia up and into her arms.

Rick and Kate walked around the lobby, searching for a snack machine. The girls were both hungry and Kate knew they'd become whiny and restless if they didn't have a snack before they went back into the courtroom. They finally found one and had purchased an oversized bag of fruit snacks for the girls to share.

"What do you think is going on? We didn't do something wrong, did we? We filed all the right paperwork on time. I don't understand." Kate paced and rubbed her forehead anxiously. Rick reached for her when her pacing brought her close to his side.

"Kate, love, it's going to be okay. They are probably just hunting down your name change paper work and our application for a marriage certificate. There's nothing to worry about." Rick chuckled internally at their switch in roles. He'd been the nervous one just this morning and Kate had been the one to comfort him.

"Richard Castle, Katherine Beckett?" The bailiff appeared in front of them and led them back to the courthouse. Just before entering again, Rick gave Kate a quick smile and squeezed their joined hands.

"Thank you for your patience." Judge Lewis smiled again and Kate could feel her anxiety melting away. A judge wouldn't look so reassuring if there was bad news, would she?

"We've searched out your name change and marriage certificate paperwork. We've corroborated your story and reviewed your adoption paperwork once again. I rarely do things like this, but I'm going to go ahead and oversee your adoptions, name change and marriage certificate so that you don't have to come back up here." Kate grinned at the judge and then back at Rick.

"Olivia, would you please stand and approach the bench?" Olivia looked at her parents questioningly and at their insistence, walked up to face the judge.

"Olivia, who is that man?" Judge Lewis pointed to Rick.

"That's my daddy." Olivia said solemnly.

"That's great, sweetheart. Can I ask you a few questions about him?"

"Yes ma'am." Judge Lewis smiled.

"Olivia, is your daddy nice to you?" Olivia smiled broadly and nodded her head so hard; Kate feared she would nod it off her shoulders.

"Let the record show that Olivia Beckett has answered in the affirmative." Judge Lewis spoke out directions for the transcriber.

"And he's nice to your mommy and sister?" Again, Olivia nodded fiercely.

"Again, in the affirmative."

"Does your daddy take care of you?" Olivia smiled and nodded, still too shy to speak.

"Yet again in the affirmative." Judge Lewis directed.

"Would you like to be with your daddy and for him to take care of you forever?" Olivia tilted her head and tapped her chin with her tiny index finger.

"What do you mean? We are already together and he already takes care of me." Olivia looked into Judge Lewis' face and scrunched her eyebrows together. Judge Lewis laughed and cleared her throat.

"It is my decision that it is in Olivia Beckett's best interest to be placed in the binding and legal guardianship of Richard Castle. The record shows that Olivia's birth father died of natural causes in August of 2010, thus terminating his parental rights. Mr. Castle, please stand." Rick stood and walked to stand next to Olivia.

"Mr. Castle, I am placing Olivia Beckett in your custody. It is now your responsibility to care for her as you would your own child. Every right and obligation of a birth parent is now yours for Olivia." Judge Lewis paused for, what Rick thought was, a theatrical moment.

"From this day forward, Olivia Beckett shall be known as Olivia Castle and should be regarded as your own child, Mr. Castle. She will be under your care, guidance and guardianship." She banged her gavel and Kate couldn't help but wonder if it was necessary in a civil proceeding.

"Congratulations you two." Olivia and Rick walked hand in hand back to the table and Rick couldn't help but pull her into his arms and kiss her loudly.

"Katherine and Richard would you please approach the bench." Alexis had been expecting to be called and sat back down with a frown when Judge Lewis called her parents instead.

"I have reviewed your marriage certificate and hereby grant you all the legal protection for marriage. From today forward, you will act as a married couple with all rights and responsibilities therein. Congratulations. Mr. Castle, you may be seated."

"Katherine, I have reviewed your name change paperwork and grant permission. From this day forward, you will be legally known as Katherine Castle. Congratulations."

Judge Lewis went quickly over the marriage license and legal name change paperwork, those being things not typically dealt with by judges. But she liked this little family and wanted to do whatever it took to keep them together and happy.

"Alexis, would you please approach the bench?" Without hesitation or fear, Alexis stood and walked toward the judge.

"Who is that woman?" Judge Lewis pointed to Kate.

"That's my mommy."

"Okay, thank you. Alexis, I'm going to ask you a few questions if that's alright with you."

"Yes ma'am."

"Is Kate kind to you? Does she take care of you?" Alexis nodded and Kate thought she'd be silent like her sister.

"My real mommy never took care of me the way Kate does. Kate makes me breakfast and helps me with my homework. She picks out my clothes and puts bows in my hair. Kate plays with me and hugs and kisses me. She grounds me when I'm bad and makes me clean up after myself. Kate is the best and only mommy I've ever had."

Judge Lewis listened intently and patiently, allowing Alexis to finish before resuming her questioning.

"So you're telling me that you're happy with Kate and want her to be your mom for good?"

"Yes, of course. Nothing would make me happier." Judge Lewis grinned, never having come across such a precocious nine-year old.

"It is my decision that it is in Alexis Castle's best interest to be placed in the binding and legal guardianship of Katherine Castle. The record shows that Alexis' birth mother has signed papers, terminating her parental rights. Ms. Castle, please stand." Kate stood and walked excitedly to stand next to Alexis.

"Ms. Castle, I am placing Alexis Castle in your custody. It is now your responsibility to care for her as you would your own child. Every right and obligation of a birth parent is now yours for Alexis." Without pausing, the judge continued.

"From this day forward, Alexis Castle shall be regarded as your own child, Ms. Castle and she will be under the care, guidance and guardianship you." She banged her gavel again, effectively drawing a close to their case.

"Congratulations to the Castle family. Be good to one another and love each other. Go and be happy!" Judge Lewis stood and gathered her papers before walking to stand in front of the Castles. She shook Rick and Kate's hands and patted Alexis and Olivia on the head. She smiled and once again congratulated them before leaving the courtroom.

"That's it, we're a real family!" Rick's exclamation echoed in the empty courtroom and his girls laughed.

"We've always been a real family, silly!" Rick smiled at Alexis' rebuttal.

"He means that it's legal and on paper now." Kate supplied the answer and smoothed Alexis' hair.

"Let's go celebrate!" Olivia had finally found her voice and giggled when it bounced off the walls, returning to her, booming in her ears.

"You said it, munchkin, let's go!" Rick smiled led the way out and the family gasped as they exited the courthouse and walked into –not rain, but –sunshine.

Kate grinned and tried to think of a time when she felt happier. She drew a blank and didn't resist the urge to draw closer into Rick's side and to hold Alexis' hand. Olivia was happy in Rick's arms, resting on his hip. Kate couldn't contain the luminous smile that threatened to split her face in two. _This is what family is supposed to be_. She thought, contentedly.

"Thank you, Rick." Kate's words were soft and meant only for her beloved.

"For what?" Rick smiled back, though he felt confused about Kate's gratitude.

"For being you. And for bringing us together as a family." Kate's answer was followed with a soft kiss that had both their daughters giggling.

"Always, Kate."

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><p><strong>AN:** So, there it is. Review, please! I've been trying to be better about replying to reviews. Also, coming up will be the wedding and some interactions with Ryan, Esposito and Lanie.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** Hello everyone! Hope you've all had a wonderful week. Here's the next chapter. It's the party! Also, there is someone new making an appearance. I know a couple of you mentioned that you thought I'd forgotten this character, but I haven't! I haven't forgotten anyone (unless they don't really matter...like Josh...) and they will all make appearances in due time. Also, in the last chapter, when the family is in court and Kate stands up to discuss why her name hasn't been changed...there was a typo that said she and Rick would be married in a few weeks...that's incorrect and messed up some of the chronology and structuring of upcoming chapters and events. It has been changed to say that they will be married eventually. The mistake is also somewhat corrected in this chapter. As always, I hope you like it and _please_ review at the end!

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><p>It was Christmas Eve and the Castles were rushing about the loft, frantically putting the finishing details on the decorations for the party that was about to begin. The entire family was dressed in festive Christmas wear and looked as though they'd just stepped out of a Christmas catalogue. Olivia wore a knee-length green and red party dress and a giant red bow in her hair. Alexis' dress was a bit more sophisticated; it was burgundy and had a gold bow around the waist. It hung to a few inches below her knees and she too wore a giant bow in her hair, but was green to offset the red of her hair and dress.<p>

Kate wore a sparkly silver strapless number with a black satin tie around the waist, accented with modest rosettes on the left side. To finish her look, her long dark hair was left down in soft curls and her lips sported the perfect shade of red lipstick. Rick wore dark blue denim on the bottom and a crisp white dress shirt on top. The ensemble was completed with a dark gray wool suit jacket and a silver tie to match Kate's dress.

The family looked great, even as they tidied up at the last second, put finishing touches on the food and made sure the entire loft sparkled with holiday magic. The guests were due to arrive at any moment and the entire Castle family felt the excitement of the evening anxiously weighing on their shoulders.

As Kate made one last sweep of the apartment, she donned her black sparkly peep-toe stilettos. Rick stood a few feet away, out of sight, just watching his beautiful girl. He grinned unconsciously and couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by how extraordinarily blessed he felt. He'd found a woman who was as close to perfect as he'd ever come across, acquired a beautiful, polite and smart daughter and an fallen into an unexpected family and 'home' for him and his own daughter. He couldn't have planned it better if he had written it in one of his books.

Rick was jolted out of his thoughts when the door buzzer went off. Kate finally noticed Rick's eyes on her and turned to face him. Her eyes lit up as she caught the unashamed way Rick admired her. She felt her cheeks tinge in a pleased blush and broke eye contact as she ducked her head down in an attempt to cover the girlish laugh that escaped her lips.

"We should probably get that." Rick laughed at Kate's instructions as the door buzzed for the second time.

"Uh, yeah, you're right. It's a little after eight, definitely party guests!" He walked toward the door and quickly opened it, an apology already on his lips. But when he saw the guest behind the door, all the air left his body in a giant _whoosh_.

"Mother?" Kate's head snapped up as Rick escorted his mother into the loft.

Kate had heard stories about Martha, but she'd never actually met the woman. Her heart suddenly felt as though it would burst from her chest and she felt her stomach rise into her throat. If she wasn't mistaken, that was a bead of sweat that had just rolled down her back, underneath her dress. She felt more nervous than she ever had, but plastered an _'it's so good to finally meet you!'_ smile to her face.

"Kate, I'd like to finally introduce you to my mother, Martha." Rick's voice was strained and Kate could sense his frustration and uneasiness. Regardless, Kate accepted Martha's arms as they wrapped around her back and even squeezed back, muttering pleasantries to the woman she'd only heard wild tales about.

"Mother, this is Kate." Rick stood by awkwardly; watching Martha finally release Kate and give her an appraising stare.

Rick sighed in relief when Martha apparently approved of what she saw and nodded politely before turning away to search for Alexis. When he was sure she was out of earshot, Rick sighed again and comically wiped his brow with his hand.

"That went far better than I thought it would."

"I am quite dazzling, Rick!" Kate's voice was not at all conceited, but held only hints of humor and teasing.

"I know you are." Rick's voice was as serious as it ever got. "But Martha is not easy to please. She has very high expectations and after Meredith left, I thought she'd never forgive me. She blamed me that Meredith took off after Alexis was born, but I _wanted_ her to stay. It was her that didn't want to stay."

Kate gave Rick an understanding nod and rubbed her hand comfortingly across his shoulders. She leaned in to kiss his cheek, but her lips didn't make it to their destination when the buzzer rang again.

"Guess the party's finally here!" Rick laughed nervously and stepped out of Kate's embrace.

Kate allowed Rick to greet whoever was at the door and went to find Martha. She was sure that Martha was fine if she'd raised Rick, but Kate felt she could never be too cautious when it came to her children. Kate's motherly instinct had been correct and she felt her pulse jump when she overheard the conversation going on inside the girls' bedroom.

"But if you're Lexi's gram, then you _have_ to be my Grams too. Lexi is my sister and sisters have the same grandparents."

"Yeah, just like how Pops is my pop too." Kate smiled as Alexis defended Olivia.

"Well, I just don't know about that. I guess we will have to have a little chat with your father, now won't we, Alexis?"

"BUT HE'S _MY_ DADDY TOO!" Olivia was nearly always an even tempered child, so when Kate heard her daughter yell; she knew she needed to intervene.

"Hey, what's all the yelling about?" She walked into the bedroom with a smile on her face, hoping to break up whatever argument was occurring.

"_That_ lady says she's not my Grams and that Daddy isn't my daddy."

Olivia's eyes welled with tears as soon as Kate was near enough to reach out to touch. Alexis' cheeks were bright red and her tiny hands were clenched into angry fists. Martha simply stood looking annoyed, eyes focused on her nails. Kate felt her blood boil. Nobody upset her kids and got away with it. Kate stood, running her hand through Olivia's soft hair.

"Girls, why don't you go downstairs and see who is here? Enjoy the party and Martha and I will be down in a few minutes, okay?" Kate's voice was tempered and calm, but she felt a whirling cyclone of fury about to erupt.

"Yes, Mommy." Alexis and Olivia said in unison, before quietly walking out of the room, leaving Kate and Martha in a stare down.

"She's calling you 'mommy'?" Martha's voice now held disdain. Kate now realized that Rick hadn't been joking when he told her that it was a very misfortunate thing to be on Martha's bad side.

"Of course she is. I'm her mother." Kate was surprised by how even her voice sounded. Martha scoffed and fluffed her hair.

"You're no more her mother than I am." Kate felt the anger inside of her rise to a nearly uncontrollable level.

"I'm more her mother than any woman's ever been. I'm the one who's here every day taking care of her." Again the older woman only chuckled and looked away, trying her hardest not to give Kate the respect Martha secretly knew she deserved.

"Who do you think helps her with her homework and makes all of her meals? Who washes her clothes and brushes her hair? Who makes her soup and hot chocolate when she's not feeling well and chases away the nightmares when she wakes up scared at night?" Kate could hear her voice rising and if she concentrated harder, she would have been able to detect the hint of hysteria that tinged her voice.

"I have been the _only_ constant female presence in that little girl's life. Her birth mother was never there for her and you've never been there for her for more than a couple of days. And if you're so worried about technicalities, look at her birth certificate. Listed under 'mother' is MY name."

Kate felt no shame that she'd unleashed _Detective Kate Beckett_ on Martha. The woman had waltzed into their lives and paid Kate absolutely no respect. Kate had been the one taking care of Alexis and Rick. She'd been the reason for the happy smiles and cheery phone calls. Kate was never one to be cocky about any accomplishment or good thing in her life, but she and Olivia had changed Rick and Alexis' lives. Without them, Rick and Alexis would be leading different lives and be different people.

"I _beg_ your pardon. I will _not_ be spoken to like that. Not by anyone and especially not by you, some woman my son found on the street." Martha left no room for Kate to defend herself, as she swiftly walked out of the bedroom, not sparing a second glance back.

Kate felt like she'd just chased down a suspect and had him cornered, only to have him slip away just before being caught. She let out a shaky breath and sunk into the oversized chair that sat in the common space between the girls' rooms. _What just happened?_

~C&B~

Kate had been gone for quite a while and Rick illogically feared his mother had eaten her alive. When he saw Martha descend the stairs with a gloating smirk on her face, he knew she'd made trouble with his fiancé. He approached her quickly and gripped her elbow, pulling her into his study before she could get away and not explain why she looked so smug. Shutting the door, Rick finally let go of his mother's arm and turned to face her, anger setting his blue eyes aflame.

"What did you do?" His voice dripped venom and Rick would have been proud of his protectiveness if he wasn't so angry.

"What ever do you mean, Richard?" Martha waved her hand and kept her fake smile affixed to her face.

"I know you've done something. The girls came downstairs a few minutes ago, visibly upset and then you came floating down the stairs with a look that tells me you're extremely pleased with yourself. I grew up in your wake, so I know when you've caused destruction." Martha chuckled humorlessly and waved her hand at Rick again.

"Stop being so dramatic, Richard; I've caused no destruction."

"Mother, do not lie to me. Kate and Olivia are extremely important to me. If you've done anything to harm them, anything at all, today will be the very last time you ever see or speak to me and Alexis."

Something in Martha's eyes changed, though she kept up her act. She grinned and brushed past Rick, quickly opening the door and leaving the study. She was intent on leaving the party when she bumped into Alexis. Martha looked down and felt the smile leave her face. Alexis' face was streaked with tears and the little girl looked at Martha as though she'd just hit her across the face.

"Alexis, dear, what's the matter?" Alexis looked like she was going to burst into tears, but instead, smoothed her dress and straightened her shoulders.

"Kate is my mommy and Olivia is my sister. You shouldn't be so mean to them. If you really love me, then you'll go say sorry and let Olivia call you 'Grams.' If you can't be nice to the people I love, you can't be in my family anymore."

Martha was so taken aback that in a very uncharacteristic display, her mouth hung open and she grappled for words. She held a hand to her heart and was about to pull out her acting card when she saw the sheer determination and sincerity in Alexis' eyes. Martha knew that if she didn't fix this, she truly would never see her son or granddaughter again.

~C&B~

The party guests had all arrived by nine o'clock and by then, the party was in full swing. People were merrily consuming beverages and dancing to the party mix Kate and Rick had created specifically for the party. Nearly everyone who was important to Castles was at the party: Captain Montgomery and his family, Ryan, Lanie, and Esposito –all with dates –a few other people from the precinct, a few of Rick's writer friends and of course –his publicist –and a lot of other people who were fun to have around for a party but didn't make a regular appearance in their everyday life.

Rick still had not seen Kate and remembered that he'd set out to look for her when he apprehended his mother. Rick quickly climbed the stairs and went straight for Alexis and Olivia's rooms. He swung Alexis' door open and scanned the room, not seeing Kate. He walked through the room to the common space to look in Olivia's room. It was there, in Olivia's bed that he saw Kate sprawled. She'd removed her hazardously high shoes and her arms were wrapped around one of Olivia's fluffy pillows. She looked like she was sleeping, but when Rick drew closer; he could hear quiet sobs coming from his beloved.

"Kate, what's wrong?" Rick walked over to the bed and sat down beside Kate, reaching out to smooth tangles of damp hair away from her face.

"Your mother –she…and…then…she…it's bad!" Kate's words were barely intelligible. Rick knew that whatever his mother had done must be truly bad if his always eloquent fiancé was barely making sense.

"Kate, honey, calm down." Rick's hands moved from her hair to her back, slowly and gently rubbing circles on the skin not covered by her dress.

After a few moments of Rick rubbing her back and Kate taking deep, calming breaths, she was finally able to speak. She sat up and smoothed her hair back before wringing her hands together, not wanting to discuss Rick's mother.

"Your mother said some hurtful things to not only me, but to Olivia and Alexis." Kate didn't want to continue, but at Rick's insistent face, she reluctantly went on.

"She told the girls that she isn't Olivia's grandmother and forbade Olivia to call her 'Grams.' Then, when I spoke to her, she told me that I'm no more Alexis' mother than she is, and basically laughed at everything I am as a mother." Silent tears rolled down Kate's cheeks and Rick was worried by the blank stare in her eyes.

"I got firm with her and told her that I _am_ Alexis' mother and that my name is on her birth certificate. And then she laughed at me and claimed that no one was to speak to her the way I did, especially not me. And then she basically called me garbage; said that you'd picked me up off the street." Rick continued to look warily at Kate.

"Rick, I was angry and spoke firmly, like when I'm talking to a suspect, but I was not rude or hateful." Rick nodded, knowing Kate would never disrespect anyone, no matter how hurt or upset she was.

"I just wanted her to understand that even though I didn't give birth to Alexis, I love her as though I did. You and Alexis are absolutely everything to me and I would never do anything to hurt you. But Rick, I don't know that I can ever be around your mother again. She was so hurtful to me, without saying very much. It's all in her facial expressions and the way she chuckles and scoffs at everything I say. She thinks me being here is all a big joke." Rick's heart broke as Kate's chin trembled and more tears showered her face. Without another second's hesitation, Rick pulled her into his arms and held her tight.

"Kate, I love you. You are the most important person to me in the entire world and our family is everything to me. My mother will not be the demise of this, I swear. If she doesn't make this right, we will never speak to or see her again. Kate, you have my word."

Kate was surprised by his words. She knew that Rick had never had an easy relationship with his mother, but that he loved her all the same. She expected to see pain in his eyes when she looked at him, but instead she found resolve to heal her hurts and the most overwhelming love she'd ever experienced. She smiled sadly and leaned in to place a soft kiss to his lips.

"I don't want to be the reason you never see your mother again and the reason Alexis never sees her grandmother again." Kate was hurting, but angry at herself as she felt her protective wall desperately trying to resurrect itself.

Uncannily, Rick seemed to know exactly what Kate was thinking and feeling and as she reached down to toy with the diamond ring that had replaced her promise ring, Rick grabbed her hand with one of his own and placed his other on her chin, lifting so she had to look him in the eyes.

"No, Kate. Do _not_ run from me; not now. We are far to enmeshed in each other's lives for you to try to run away from this. I know she's hurt you and I know what you're thinking. You think that if your presence drives away my mother, you'll remove yourself from the equation to make it easier. You want me to choose my family over you." Kate's eyes welled with tears and Rick knew he'd hit the nail on the head.

"But Kate, you're forgetting something. You are my family too. And taking yourself out of the equation would be more hurtful to me and Alexis than never seeing my mother again. I love my mother, sure, but Kate I _need_ you. I love you so much it hurts. Our souls are intertwined."

The dam in Kate's eyes broke and tears flooded down her cheeks. Rick felt Kate's control snap with the shaking of her shoulders and knew the wall her heart was so used to building had finally fallen for good, never to be rebuilt. He knew she was desperately fighting the fear that came with giving your heart to someone. After the adoption the day before and after the girls had gone to bed, Rick and Kate had sat talking about their future. She'd expressed fear, but brushed it off as silly, since they were now bound to each other by children.

**FLASHBACK**

"_I'm so scared, Rick. What if something happens and we don't work out. I need you too much for you to just go away. And now we have the girls to worry about. We can't just split and hope the girls get over each other. They are sisters now…by law, even!"_

"_Kate, that's not going to happen, I love you to much. Besides –" Rick paused and pulled out a small robin's egg blue box and popped it open before Kate could say anything. _

"_The judge kind of stole my moment when she declared us legally married. I was going to propose on New Year's…as a sort of commemoration to our 'betrothment'!" Rick's eyes sparkled in mirth as he grinned at Kate. _

"_I know we're technically already passed this, but I have something I need to say." Rick got up from the couch, where he sat beside Kate, and got down on one knee. He smiled broadly and watched as Kate's hand flew to cover her grinning mouth and her eyes brimmed with tears. _

"_Kate, will you marry me?" Kate was glad for the simple proposal, without fanfare or glitz. She nodded her head fiercely and pulled Rick up from the ground, meeting his lips with her own just as soon as she could reach. _

_Between kisses, she half gasped, half shouted "Yes! Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!" After a few more moments of kissing, Rick pulled back and held the ring box out to Kate. _

"_Can I put it on you?" She smiled, nodding manically. _

_Rick gently took the delicate ring out of the box and removed her Claddagh ring before replacing it with the new, 2 carat Tiffany engagement ring. A half carat of diamonds dusted the band of the ring and Kate felt the breath leave her lungs. She'd never worn such a dangerously beautiful ring before and she marveled at the beauty of it. She'd always heard that Tiffany & Co. made beautiful rings, but always blew it off as a cliché. But now that _her_ Tiffany ring sat on her finger, she believed and could confirm every good thing she'd ever heard about the jewelry company. _

"_Oh my god, Rick, it's beautiful!" Rick kissed Kate's hand and let her take it from his hand, to admire the sparkling ring. _

"_It's not too big?" _

"_No, not at all. You have beyond excellent taste in jewelry. But I won't be able to wear it at work. I draw enough attention as a female detective, but if I wore this, I'd definitely be taken down and have it stolen from my finger." There was a moment of silence between them. _

"_You're wrong about one thing, though." Rick's eyebrows knit together in worry and confusion. _

"_The judge _definitely_ didn't ruin that moment!" _

_Kate's eyes glimmered with mischief and lust and Rick couldn't control himself as he scooped her up and took her to their bedroom, Kate giggling and kissing every inch of skin she could reach. Rick crossed the threshold of their room and walked to the bed, unceremoniously flopping her down and covering her with his body. He looked deep into her eyes and she met his gaze. _

"_I love you, Katherine Castle." Kate smiled and softly touched his face with her fingertips._

"_I love you, Richard Castle." Rick leaned down and placed a lingering kiss to Kate's lips. _

"_Promise me something?" Kate's voice was soft and tentative. _

"_Anything," came Rick's whispered reply. _

"_Promise me _always_." _

"_I'll love you _always_, my dear."_

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><p><em><em>**A/N: **So who loves Martha as the evil grandmother! I know some of you probably don't, but no worries...she gets better with time...like moldy cheese! All mistakes are my own. Also, you can go look at the Tiffany engagement ring on my page. It's listed as "Kate's engagement ring." (I have two other rings posted there that are somewhat of teasers for upcoming chapters, if you'd like to look!) Umm...I feel like I had something else to say...but I forgot. So lots of love, and please review!


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: **(hides behind something big, peeks out sheepishly) Hi...I am alive and I'm SO sorry that it's been so long since my last update. I'm a mean, and horrible person to have kept you waiting for so long. And, BAM! Something HUGE is in this chapter. I have no excuses, except that I hope you all know how life can be...absolutely NOT letting you write and instead making you do a bazillion other things. So, here's the chapter. I hope you like it. Any mistakes are my own.

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><p><em>(It's still Christmas Eve, and the party is still in full swing at the Castle loft. Rick just went upstairs to look for Kate and found her crying in Olivia's room. You got to read about the proposal, which was in a flashback. Also, remember that Martha has made her grand debut, and she's nasty and mean.)<em>

After helping to calm Kate down, Rick left her in the girls' room to attend to party guests. Kate sat in the silence for a few moments before sneaking into her bathroom downstairs to fix her hair and makeup. When she looked perfectly put together again, she left the bedroom and went to mingle with her party guests.

Rick was serving drinks to a long line of thirsty, dancing guests. Alexis and Olivia were in the middle of the converted dance floor, twirling and giggling in their party dresses. Kate smiled and headed toward Lanie and the boys, but her path was interrupted by a desperate looking Martha. Kate's smile faded and she backed away, feeling uncomfortable and upset.

"Kate, dear, can I please speak with you in the study?" Martha left little room for Kate to disagree because she had a firm grip on Kate's elbow. Kate nodded her consent and allowed Martha to pull her into Rick's quiet study.

"I feel I need to apologize to you. What I said earlier, and the way I acted was completely disrespectful and inappropriate. You are my son's fiancé and the only mother my granddaughter has ever known. I owe everything to you for bringing them happiness and caring for them. You have been so good to and for them and for that, I am truly grateful. Please forgive me for my behavior."

Martha's eyes were regretful and filled with uncertainty. Kate almost felt sorry for Martha but wondered if Rick had asked her to apologize. When Kate took a moment too long deciding on her forgiveness, Martha cleared her throat and looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"I assure you that Richard did not put me up to this. He may have shared some words with me, but it my choice alone to apologize to you." Her words seemed to make Kate's decision and her steely gaze softened as a small smile graced her lips.

"Of course I forgive you, Martha. You're family now." Martha's eyes sparkled at Kate's declaration and allowed the first genuine smile that Kate had ever seen to erupt on her face.

"You're right. We are family. You're unspeakably important to Alexis and Richard and I'd be remiss to ignore how much you love them and I in no way wish to upset you or them by not giving you the respect you deserve. Thank you, Kate, for taking care of my boy and granddaughter." Martha leaned forward to hug Kate, but decided at the last second that it would be awkward, so settled for a warm hand to Kate's arm, instead.

"Everything okay in here, you two?" Rick smiled hesitantly.

"Yes, everything is fine, dear." Kate's heart warmed toward Martha when she heard the sheer adoration in Martha's voice when she spoke to her son.

Rick looked at Kate and they had a conversation with their eyes. Rick silently asked if everything was indeed okay. Kate reassured that everything was fine. Rick smiled the smile he reserved only for Kate and in turn, Kate gave Rick one of her knee-buckling, dazzle smiles. Martha could only look back and forth between the two, as if watching a tennis match. She smiled knowingly at the looks her son and his fiancé were giving each other and she knew that the love they shared was real.

"Well, I think I've caused enough drama for the night, and I have a few more apologies to make. If the two of you would excuse me, I'll just go speak to the girls and then be on my way. Thank you, Richard, for inviting me to your party and allowing me to be part of such a special celebration." Martha hugged Rick, before turning to face Kate.

"Welcome to the family, Kate and to both of you, congratulations on the upcoming wedding and the adoption. You and the girls make such a stunning family and I feel so very fortunate to call you my own." Martha smiled and winked at Kate before leaving her and Rick in the silent study.

"I guess we should get back to the party, huh?" Rick reached out to run his hand over Kate's side, which caused a chill to tingle down her spine.

"Hang on a sec…" Kate grasped Rick's jacket lapels and pulled him closer to her.

"I love you." Her voice floated in a whispered breath across Rick's lips and stoked a dormant warmth in his abdomen. When she pulled him the rest of the way to her face, Rick could hardly control himself as he gave her everything through his kiss.

The pair shared a moment of fire before pulling apart, breathing hard. Kate giggled and leaned to rest her head on Rick's shoulder. She allowed him to wrap his arms around her body. They sat in each other's embrace for a few moments.

"Okay, for real, let's get back to the party!" Rick laughed as he realized just how many times he'd said that sentence since the party began.

Kate chuckled in return and allowed Rick to lead her back out to where bodies still pulsated in the middle of their living room.

~C&B~

Meanwhile, Martha had finally located Alexis and Olivia. When she came to stand majestically in front of them, both girls frowned and took a step backwards. When Martha smiled softly and lowered her warm hands to the girls, they immediately took them and allowed her to lead them to a quieter place. Martha stooped down, so her eyes were nearly level with the two girls.

"I owe you both an apology." Olivia and Alexis glanced at each other.

"I am so very sorry for the hurtful things I said earlier. Olivia, you are as much my granddaughter as Alexis is and so of course you may call me Grams. And I'm sorry for saying that Kate isn't your mother, Alexis, and that Rick isn't your father, Olivia. I was surprised by how much you all love each other. Do you think you can both forgive an old lady?" The girls exchanged another look at each other before both smiling and crashing into Martha's stooped body, nearly tumbling her over.

"Of course, Grams. We love you." Alexis was the first to speak, offering instant forgiveness. Olivia was a bit more hesitant, but finally allowed her body to relax into the older woman.

"I've never had a grams before. I'm glad it's you." Martha felt her eyes bristle with tears and knew she'd turn into a blubbering mess if she didn't make her escape quickly. Squeezing the girls tightly to her chest once more, Martha stood and steadied herself. She smiled down at her two granddaughters and then turned and swished out of the room, making her way for the front door.

Rick and Kate were just coming out of Rick's study as Martha sashayed down the hallway. Rick squeezed Kate's shoulder and then cleared his throat, gaining his mother's attention.

"Thank you, Mother. Your apologies mean the world to us and I'm so glad that you're supportive of our family. My four girls are the most important people in my life, so I need to make sure you all get along and love each other." Martha smiled warmly at Rick before extending her warmth to Kate.

"This isn't going to be a problem for you, is it Mother? Martha's cheeks tinged pink and a remorseful expression crossed her face.

"No, Richard, and I want to say again how sorry I am for the way I've behaved tonight. I made quite a mess. I do hope the two of you will allow me to be more a part of your lives, so that I can get to know you, Kate and sweet Olivia." Kate nodded her head and reached a hand out to take Martha's. She gave it a quick squeeze and shared another smile with Martha.

"Well, I think tonight has been eventful enough for me. I think I'll take my leave. Thank you again for inviting me to your party. I hope you both have a wonderful evening."

Martha said no more as she gathered her coat and bag and was gone from the loft. Rick surveyed the party and saw that people were beginning to slow their dancing and quite a few people had taken up residence on the various chairs, couches and any surface that could be sat upon.

"I guess it's time for more drinks and some snacks. Everyone is starting to look hungry and tired." Rick pulled away from Kate's arms and went to announce the arrival of snacks and more drinks. Kate decided to search for the girls. As she started for the main group of people, Olivia and Alexis bumped into her thighs.

"Oh, hi Mommy. We were looking for you." Alexis' sweet voice rang out over the noise of the music and people.

"You were?" Kate smiled and reached down, touching the cheeks of her daughters. Both of them looked tired, but Olivia especially looked wiped out.

"Why don't we go upstairs and get ready for bed? You two look sleepy and it has been a crazy last few days." The girls agreed with no argument and Kate was surprised. Although the girls were sweet and obedient, they usually put up a fight when bedtime rolled around.

Kate followed the girls up the stairs and helped them out of their party dresses and into their pajamas. Teeth and hair were brushed and Kate sang softly to them on the new giant bean bag in the center of the common space of the girl's room. Both girls' eyes were blinking slower by the second and Kate knew they'd be out in a few minutes. After a few songs and the girls' favorite lullaby, she helped each girl climb into their bed and tucked them in tightly. Kate kissed each girl's cheek and brushed hair away from their eyes.

Kate turned on a lamp and clicked off the overhead lighting. She went through the two rooms, quickly picking up stray shoes and hair ribbons. When she finally clicked off the lamp and pulled the doors shut, she knew Olivia and Alexis were fast asleep. The excitement from the adoption and the party had made for two very exhausted children.

As Kate returned back downstairs, she couldn't help but notice how tired she was. She felt a little nauseous too, even though she'd had nothing to drink. She surveyed the room and took note that the guests were still slowing down, even after drinks and snacks. Kate greeted people as she pushed through to crowd in search of Rick. She was almost to Rick when someone bumped into her from behind. _Hard_. Kate stumbled forward, nearly losing her balance.

"Oh, hey girl!" The offender turned out to be Lanie, who had not slowed down. In fact, she seemed to be more amped up than ever. Her body moved quickly and fluidly with the music and sweat covered her body.

"Awesome party, Kate!" Kate smiled and reached her left hand up to brush hair behind her ear.

"Oh my god. He proposed!" Lanie's voice reached an almost inaudible decibel. Kate nodded and smiled, holding her hand out to her friend.

"When? You have to tell me everything!" Kate nodded and motioned for Lanie to follow her, away from the make shift mosh pit, to Rick's study yet again.

"Well, it's official. We're engaged. He proposed after the adoption ceremony last night. He told me that he was originally going to propose on New Year's, to sort of commemorate our 'betrothment' as he called it –you know, with the promise ring. He said that the judge stole his thunder by officiating our marriage." Lanie's eyes bugged at Kate' last words.

"Oops…I guess I didn't tell you that yet either." Lanie's mouth dropped open, and Kate was pleasantly surprised to see that her friend was speechless for what seemed the first time ever.

"I would have told you, Lanie. It's just that we've been so busy with the adoptions and then planning the party."

"Wait a minute. You got _married_ and didn't tell me?" Lanie found her voice and nearly shouted at Kate. Kate only shook her head.

"No, please understand. We told the judge why our last names aren't the same…we're getting married but weren't at the moment. She said she could sign our marriage license and declare us married. So technically speaking, Rick and I have been married since yesterday. But we are still going to plan a wedding and invite our friends. You'll obviously be my maid of honor."

"So, are you going to have two anniversaries? What about a honeymoon?" Kate rolled her eyes. _Of course_ that's what Lanie would think of.

"We will celebrate our anniversary on whatever day our wedding is and –of course –we'll have a honeymoon. I mean, come on!" Kate made a scandalous face and winked at Lanie, who instantly burst into giggles.

"Kate, I'm so happy for you. Everything is turning out so well. This is the happiness you've always deserved. Blissfully happy looks good on you!" The women shared another laugh before returning to the party.

Upon blending in with the handful of guests who were still dancing, Kate chuckled when she realized this was the first time she'd actually been at her own party. The rest of the night had been spent talking and crying and yelling and confessing. Kate shook her head and vowed to stay and socialize until everyone went home, even though she still wasn't feeling well. She realized she hadn't eaten all night and went in search of some of the snacks Rick had mentioned.

The party finally started winding down, and people were starting to leave. It was after all, Christmas Eve and people were anxious to get home to their traditions. As soon as the first couple left, everyone else decided to leave too. It was as though no one wanted to be the first to leave, but once someone had broken the ice, the apartment hemorrhaged people.

A few kind people stayed behind to help Rick and Kate clean up, and because of this, the house was clean in less than an hour. Kate and Rick thanked the 'cleaning crew' and finally headed to their bedroom to fall exhausted into bed.

~C&B~

Rick rolled over, mostly asleep, and threw his arm over Kate. But instead of his arm hitting skin and warmth, it hit the cold, flat sheet. He sat up, slightly alarmed and looked around the room. He saw a slit of light coming from behind the bathroom door and allowed himself to lie back down, comforted that Kate was near.

A few minutes later, the door opened and the light turned out and Kate slipped back into bed. Rick rolled over to cuddle against her and smelled mint on her breath. Kate was oblivious to Rick's discovery and snuggled into his warm body.

"Did you wake up to brush your teeth again?"

"Of course not." Kate offered no further explanation.

"Are you sick? Is that why you brushed them again?" Kate only nodded.

"Oh Kate, are you feeling okay?" Rick touched the back of his hand to Kate's forehead, feeling for a temperature.

"No, I'm okay. I think I just shouldn't have eaten that party food. I'll be okay in the morning." Kate rolled over, scooting her back into Rick's abdomen. Rick sat up on one elbow, not satisfied with Kate's reasoning.

"I ate all the same food and I'm okay. The girls ate the food and I haven't heard them get up."

"Rick, I just threw up a little. I'm okay, really. I don't even feel sick anymore." Kate's words seemed to satisfy Rick, who lay back down on the bed.

"Fine, if you say so. Goodnight." Rick pulled Kate in close and settled his hand on her stomach. The room was quiet for several minutes.

"Rick, what day is it?" Kate's voice had changed. If Rick hadn't been still masked in sleep, he would have picked up on the urgency in it.

"Uh, it's Saturday."

"No, what's the date?"

"It's Christmas Eve, Kate, remember?" Kate was quiet for a long moment.

"Oh my god." Kate's voice came out even and slow.

"Kate, what is it?"

"It's the 24th."

"Yeah, so? What's going on? Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"No, Rick. It's the 24th. My period is three weeks late. I was supposed to start the 3rd, but we've been so busy that I hadn't noticed."

"But aren't you on the pill? It should be regular, right?" Rick's words finally escaped on a whisper.

"Yeah, but we've been so busy the last few months that I haven't been super good about taking it. Usually we come home and just pass out, and if we do end up making love, you always wear a condom anyway. I wasn't worried about it."

"Oh god. I know when it happened." Kate sat up, her head whipping to look at Rick.

"It was a Saturday, and your dad had the girls. We had gone on a date, but the food was gross, so we came home and ordered in. We watched movies and cuddled and drank almost two bottles of wine and then…" Rick's voice broke off. Silence filled the room. When Kate could no longer take the quiet, her voice left her mouth in a disembodied squeak.

"Rick, I'm pregnant."

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><p><strong>AN**: Review!


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N**: Hi...I am SOOO sorry for the immense delay in getting this chapter to you. All I can say is that life has been on fast forward for me since the new year and I haven't had much time for anything, let alone writing...which has become a luxury for me. :-( But anyway...here it is, finally. I'm sorry it's shorter than usual, but I thought getting it to you ASAP is better than trying to extend the chapter. I'm sorry! Please don't be angry with me.

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><p>"You can't be! We're not married yet." Kate chuckled at Rick's naïve response.<p>

"Rick, people can get pregnant without being married." She paused for a small moment. "And actually, according to the law, we are married. We just haven't had the ceremony yet."

"But you didn't know. Isn't the baby at some kind of risk? It's been what…over a month since we could have conceived? How far along does that make you?" The worry etched deeply in Rick's face. Kate smiled warmly and reached out to rub the back of his hand.

"Rick, honey, don't worry. I'll make an appointment with my gynecologist and see how far along I am. And as for the baby, he or she should be fine. I honestly haven't been feeling good…which makes sense now…" Kate paused to let out a mirthful chuckle.

"And I've been drinking more water and I actually haven't had anything to drink since, gosh, I don't know." Kate paused again, counting days in her head. "Well, in any case, I haven't had a thing to drink in a very long time. So our little Gummy Bear should be okay for now."

"Gummy Bear?"

"Well, yeah…" Kate's face broke out in a soft pink blush. Her nickname for the life inside of her had come automatically.

"We don't know if it's a girl or boy and the baby will look sort of like a gummy bear at the first ultrasound…at least Liv did."

"So is that what you called her?" Rick's face held a joyous grin, but his eyes betrayed his sadness.

"Oh, Rick, no. We called her Peanut. I would never use something with you that I used with…him." Kate couldn't bring herself to say her late husband's name.

"It's really okay, Kate." Kate shook her head, calling Rick's bluff.

"No way. You're my guy. This is our family. He doesn't need to be part of this." Kate shook her head again, adamantly.

"But he always will be, Kate. He's Liv's father." The grin was no longer planted on Rick's handsome face.

"Rick, you're her daddy. That's what matters." Kate's eyes crinkled as a soft smile spread her lips.

Rick could only smile back at Kate, feeling that they finally had the fresh start that they needed to join their two families. This little Gummy Bear would be the sealing compound the family so desperately needed to finally become one, cohesive unit.

**~C&B~**

It was the day of the appointment with Kate's doctor. The girls were both at school and were none the wiser to what their parents were doing. Kate hadn't been nervous about her most definite pregnancy until right this minute. She was sitting in the stuffy waiting room of her gynecologist, Rick next to her, reading an old Men's Health magazine. Kate cringed at the water rings and wrinkles on the pages of the magazine; she really hated doctor's offices.

"Kate –" The nurse called from a partially opened door, which led to the exam rooms. Kate glanced at Rick, standing slowly and tightly grabbing his hand. He tossed the magazine to the chair next to him as Kate pulled him up. They smiled at the nurse, decked out in hot pink scrubs, and followed her through the maze of hallways.

Kate was asked to give a urine sample and then was weighed before she and Rick were finally allowed back into the exam room. The nurse took a blood sample and then left her to undress and put on the extremely awkward exam gown. She was used to being naked in front of Rick, but the whole clinical element made her extremely uncomfortable. She pulled the room-dividing curtain around herself and quickly stripped her clothing. She quickly pulled on the cotton gown, tied it and opened the curtain. She nearly wet herself when she caught a glimpse of Rick, she was laughing so hard.

He was standing next to the window, where the female anatomy poster hung. His face was contorted in astonishment and disgust and his hands were splayed across his face, as though he was trying to cover his eyes but couldn't look away. Upon hearing Kate laughter, Rick turned. The disturbing expression on his face was instantly replaced with one of unending love and adoration.

"What?" Kate tugged on the gown, trying to adjust the folds of fabric that hung loosely from her body.

"You're beautiful. And you're my wife. And you're carrying my baby." Rick beamed at Kate and she felt the blush rise from her chest and flood her face. She was about to open her mouth to reply when there was a soft knock on the door. Kate's eyes widened in alarm.

"This is going to be weird and awkward. You can sit outside if you want to."

"Not a chance. We are in this together…one hundred and ten percent okay?" Kate nodded and then the doctor entered the room.

"Hello Kate, how are you? You're looking well."

"Thank you, Dr. Peterson. This is my husband, Rick. Rick, this is Dr. Peterson…she delivered Liv." A look of confusion skittered across Dr. Peterson's face as she took Rick's hand.

"It's nice to meet you." The doctor managed a stumbled reply before taking a seat in the swivel chair across the room. Kate plopped down on the exam table and Rick took the chair next to it.

"Likewise." Rick felt the tension in the room rise and looked at Kate for assistance.

"Dr. Peterson, my uh –" Kate looked at Rick, unsure of how to continue.

"Adam died a little over a year ago. Rick is my new husband." Kate was unsure why she felt embarrassed under her doctor's careful eyes.

"I'm going to ask for forgiveness in advance for what I'm about to say." Dr. Peterson paused. "Thank God you've got this hunky guy now. He looks like a good one. Much better than the last one! He looks smart, so he better not hurt my girl!" Dr. Peterson winked at Rick.

"Well, thank you, I guess?" Kate laughed, still uncomfortable.

"Kate, I'm your doctor. I know when things are not okay at home. No sex, bruises, depression, stress…those are all things I learned from what you _didn't_ say about your home life." Rick's head whipped toward Kate.

_Bruises?_ He mouthed to Kate.

"Dr. Peterson, I don't know what you're implying, but yes; my last few years with Adam were unhappy ones. And yes, Rick is a good man; an exceptional man, actually. He's good to me and Olivia and has a daughter as well. Alexis is 9 and Olivia and I just adore her."

"We actually just had the official adoption hearing at the court the day before Christmas Eve." Rick supplied and Kate gave him a thankful smile.

"Well, that's fantastic. How long have you been married?" Dr. Peterson smiled at her patient, trying to dissipate the tension in the room.

"Well, we haven't had the wedding, but we've been married on paper since the day before Christmas Eve, but we've been dating for…oh gosh…forever." Kate chuckled and squeezed Rick's hand.

"We actually met a little over a month after Adam died and have been dating almost as long." Kate brushed a stray hair from her face. Dr. Peterson motioned for her to lie down on the exam table.

As Dr. Peterson did Kate's pelvic exam and felt her lower abdomen, she kept up a steady stream of conversation, directed at both Kate and Rick. Kate squeezed Rick's hand tightly and kept her eyes glued on the ceiling. Rick let his gaze wander between Dr. Peterson's face, the exposed skin on Kate's knees and her face. She was uncomfortable and nervous.

Dr. Peterson finally left the room and asked Kate to get dressed. She returned a few moments later with a sonogram machine and had Kate lie down on the table again. She applied the cold blue gel to Kate's stomach and turned the machine on. She swept the wand over Kate's abdomen a few times until the picture came into view.

Kate gasped and squeezed Rick's hand as they saw their little Gummy Bear come into focus on the screen.

"Yep, there it is. That's your baby. It looks like you're about 6 weeks along, give or take a few days."

"Wow, 6 weeks? How does that actually work?" Rick's eyebrows were knit together, a sure sign he didn't understand.

"Well, we count from the first day of Kate's last period. Since hers was November 5, that means that you could have conceived anywhere between the 14th and the 24th of November. Since you know the date you conceived, that makes it a little easier. But 6 weeks is accurate based on the size of the baby, Kate's stomach measurement and the amount of pregnancy hormone in Kate's urine and blood. Our tests are foolproof, especially when compared with at home pregnancy tests."

Rick could only nod. Dr. Peterson cleaned the gel off of Kate's stomach and pushed the machine away. She spoke to Kate about the next appointment and wished her well with her wedding plans. She shook Rick's hand and told him to be good to Kate, or she'd kill him and make it look like an accident. Rick felt uneasy, and couldn't say for sure if the doctor was joking or not. The couple left the office and made their way out to their car in the parking garage.

"We're pregnant, Rick!" Kate's unbridled joy bubbled out and she couldn't help but stop Rick and pull him to her. She kissed him senseless and then led him to their car, as he seemed to have lost his ability to walk straight. They finally made it back to the car and got in and left the medical complex.

"What are we going to tell the Captain?" Rick's face paled as the thought occurred to him.

"He'll be thrilled, Rick!" Rick shook his head.

"No, he said that if I did anything to keep you from doing your job, that he'd shoot me. It seems I have a lot of people after my head lately." Rick blinked and shook his head.

"He's not going to shoot you, especially not because we got pregnant. And Dr. Peterson…she won't kill you either. She didn't kill Adam, and she truly despised him."

"Or did she kill him? She said she could make it look like an accident. Adam had an aneurysm, which could be caused by something else, right?" Rick's voice had reached a hysteric tone and volume.

"Rick, she's not going to kill you; especially because you're going to be better to me than Adam was. You have nothing to worry about, babe." Rick let the tension ease out of his shoulders at Kate's soothing words.

"Okay, but maybe Espo and Ryan will hurt me. I did steal you from them and then got you pregnant."

"Would you quit with this 'got you pregnant' business. It was consensual and I had an equal part in it, okay?" Rick nodded and allowed a bashful smile to curve his face.

"I love you, Kate." Kate smiled and rolled her eyes.

"I love you too, my big gummy bear."

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><p><strong>AN**: So that's all for now. There are some unanswered things in there...that I WILL address. And the next chapter will be some baby preparations, telling the girls and friends and family...all the gooey-goodness that comes with having a baby. Please let me know what you think...that is if you're not too peeved about the excessive wait for this chapter. You can encourage me by writing a kind word! Love you guys, and again, I'm sorry!

Oh- Ps...any and all mistakes are my own. It's late and I just wanted to get this to you. It may not be up to my usual standards, so I'm sorry!


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Hello friends. I am SO incredibly sorry for the ridiculously long wait. Also, I'm sorry for my previous update, promising that I'd have a new chapter for you by November. As we can all see...it's January. I'm sorry! But, here is a new chapter! Because of the time between when I last wrote and this chapter, and because I literally lost .file. I have on this story in a computer crash last June...I had to basically start over. As such, I've put in place a jump in time. Not long, but all 9 months of Kate's pregnancy. Don't worry, you didn't miss anything, I don't think! Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I hope this will serve as a peace offering!

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><p>"I'm going to kill you, Richard Castle!" Kate's voice was edgy, choked and manic.<p>

Rick couldn't help but smirk. He held Kate's hand and rubbed her back, soothingly.

"This is NOT…" Kate's voice cut off as she lost her breath and squeezed Rick's hand.

"Ouch! That's attached, you know." Rick screeched.

"Not funny. This is not funny. And you can shut up about your hand. It's my uterus that's about to fall out of my body!" Again, Kate's voice edged hysteric.

"Kate, my love, this is a beautiful thing!" Ricked beamed.

Kate could only roll her eyes, as another contraction wracked her body.

"The girls will be thrilled!" Rick seemed oblivious to Kate's suffering.

"Hey, no holding your breath!" Kate was hunched over, not breathing, clutching her stomach.

"This is hell. And I'm going to kill you when I can stand again!"

"Just think, in a few hours, we will be meeting our child!"

Kate smiled wryly.

"Uh huh…" Another contraction.

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><p>Alexis and Olivia had been thrilled when Kate and Rick told them about the pregnancy. To Rick's utter surprise, everyone important in their lives had been equally as elated as their daughters had been. The Captain, Ryan, and Esposito laughed and clapped when Kate and Rick told them. Lanie cried joyfully. And Kate's father shed a tear and hugged them both tightly.<p>

The nine months of Kate's pregnancy had been busy, planning a nursery, buying baby gear, and preparing the girls to be big sisters to a baby. Kate and Rick also had to plan time off from work, make sure they were both caught up on paper work, and do all the other little things that came with being the parents to a newborn.

Rick had wanted to know the gender of the baby, but Kate wanted to be surprised. She made Rick promise not to find out, because she knew that if _he_ knew, he would end up telling her. He was awful at keeping secrets. Secretly, Kate hoped for a boy. A little boy that had Rick's dark wavy hair and bright blue eyes. A little boy that would be _theirs_.

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><p>"Do you think Mommy is okay?" Worry creased Alexis' small face.<p>

She and Olivia had recently had their birthdays. At 9 and 6, they were both growing up to be quite lovely.

"She's strong. She's going to be fine." Olivia absently twirled her pigtail. "Besides, our brother will do his best not to hurt her any more than he has to."

"Olivia, the baby is _not_ a boy. I already told you, we are definitely having a sister." Alexis scowled at her sister.

"Nu-uh, Alexis. It's a boy. I know it!"

"How can you know? Mommy and Daddy don't even know!"

"Exactly! How do _you _ know?"

Alexis was going to reply, but knew Olivia had stumped her.

"Okay girls, that's enough." Jim Beckett smoothed the hair of his granddaughters and smiled softly at them.

"Your mom is going to be just fine. Liv is right that she's strong. And she's a fighter. She is going to bring your baby brother or sister into the world and then we all get to be one big happy family."

"Pop, when can we go to the hospital?"

The girls were dying to be closer to their mom, and new baby sibling. Jim laughed good-naturedly and began gathering all the things he was sure he would need to keep the girls occupied and comfortable at the hospital.

When everything under the sun had been gathered, and the girls were nearly coming out of their skins with anticipation, the threesome was off, and out the door. The drive to the hospital in Jim's old truck was agonizing in the August heat, but the girls did not make a single complaint.

At long last, the truck pulled into the hospital parking lot and the girls jumped out, leaving Jim to haul the enormous supply bag into the reception area.

"Hi!" Olivia could barely see over the receptionist's counter.

"We are here to see our mommy. She's having our baby brother today!"

"Or sister!" Alexis chimed in.

"Kate Beckett," Jim puffed, as he finally made it through the door with the heavy bag.

"She is on the 3rd floor, in labor and delivery room 314."

Jim thanked the receptionist, and he and the girls walked quickly and quietly to the elevator.

"I can't wait to hug Mommy!" Olivia squealed when the elevator _dinged_ on the third floor. Alexis nodded her agreement.

"Here we are, room 314." Jim announced. He knocked softly on the door and they waited.

Rick opened the door and peered cautiously into the hall. A smile split his face in two when he saw his daughters and father in law.

"Hi guys! Come on in. Mommy is doing great, and is resting a little right now." The girls walked into the room and immediately went to Kate's side.

"How's our girl?" Jim asked.

"She's actually doing a lot better. They finally gave her an epidural, and that's helped a lot. She's been asleep for about an hour, and that's actually the first rest she's been able to get since we got here."

The date was August 15, 6:00 pm. Kate and Rick had been in the hospital since 8:00 pm the night before. Baby Castle was supposed to grace the earth a week earlier, but had decided to cook a little longer. Kate was miserable.

"Well, that's really good. I'm glad she was able to rest. Should I take the girls, so she can sleep longer?"

"No, that's okay, Jim. We'll let them say hi and stay a few minutes. She's actually pretty close to being able to push, and then they'll have to leave." Jim nodded and the men looked across the room to see the girls in their lives giggling and hugging.

"You girls are so sweet to come and see Mommy!" Kate was finally _not_ sweating, and cursing like a sailor. The epidural had all but cured her pain.

"We missed you! And we are SOOO excited to meet our baby…" Alexis trailed off, looking at Olivia.

"Our baby whatever it is!" Olivia finished.

"Well, baby Castle is going to be here pretty soon!"

Just then, a nurse and a doctor walked into the room. They smiled at the family, before applying "no-nonsense" expressions to their faces.

"Kate, we'd like to check you once again, since you were 8cm a few hours ago. You're probably dilated enough to start pushing." The doctor smiled kindly, but looked pointedly at Olivia and Alexis.

Kate felt a knot form in her throat. She hadn't seen her girls in almost 24 hours, and she desperately wanted to hold them and stroke their soft hair. But she nodded and patted the girl's hands.

"You better go with Pop now." The girls smiled and hopped off the bed.

They quickly hugged Rick and then took Jim's hands as he guided them out of the room.

"Good luck, Mommy!" They called in unison.

She couldn't help but smile broadly. The doctor examined her and smiled himself.

"It looks like you're ready to push. Let me just called Dr. Peterson and we will get started on bringing your baby into the world!"

Kate laughed and couldn't help but smile joyously at Rick.

"Our baby is coming tonight!"


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:** Hey guys! Here it is! The birth of Baby Castle! Is it a boy or girl!? I hope you enjoy, and as always, any and all spelling mistakes/ errors are my own.

Disclaimer: Castle and the recognizable characters are not mine, though the new baby and Olivia are mine. As are all the creative liberties I take with the characters.

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><p>Kate worked hard: she pushed, gritted her teeth, squeezed Rick's hand, and let a few choice words slip out of her mouth. But the end product was well worth it. All of her sweat, tears, and hard work paid off. Their child was finally here!<p>

"Do you think he's here yet?" Olivia was doodling on one of the pages inside of her coloring book. Alexis threw her a glare over the top of the book she was reading.

"O-liv-i-a…" Alexis' frustration was evident as she emphasized every syllable in her sister's name.

"The baby is _not,_ **not**, NOT a boy!" Alexis nearly shouted.

"Hey, take it easy!" Jim was tired, and his back was beginning to hurt. He had to remind himself that his daughter had it far worse than he did, and that he needed to suck it up for just a little bit longer.

"She keeps saying the baby is a boy. And how does she even know? It's probably a girl. Olivia thinks she is so smart. She's not always right, you know. I'm going to laugh when she's wrong."

Alexis was tired too. And if she were honest, a little worried about having a new sibling. _Especially a brother_, if that's what the baby was. She was worried that she would have to act more grown up, and that her parents would stop paying as much attention to her. She was worried that her parents, Olivia, her friends, and her grandparents would like the new baby better than they liked her. She was worried she didn't know how to take care of a baby, _especially a brother_. She knew that she could help take care of Olivia, because they weren't that different. And she genuinely liked Olivia. What if the baby was a boy? How on earth was she supposed to know how to help take care of a _boy?_

"Alexis Nichole Castle, that was uncalled for." Jim was surprised at his ordinarily polite granddaughter's venomous words. He glanced over at Olivia and her eyes were wide and shining.

"You need to apologize to your sister right now." Alexis looked contrite as she got up and walked over to where Olivia was sitting.

"Olivia, I'm sorry for saying those mean things. Will you please forgive me?" Olivia smiled a watery smile and nodded.

The girls embraced, and all was forgotten. Olivia went back to coloring and Alexis returned to her seat and her book. Jim settled back down and decided to take a nap. He'd been awake since Kate left for the hospital yesterday.

As soon as his eyes closed and he was beginning to drift off to sleep, a nurse opened the door to the waiting room and cleared her throat. Jim opened his eyes.

"Hi guys, I have great news for you!"

Alexis, Olivia and Jim all stood up, with bright smiles on their faces.

"Your mom is doing great, and the baby is here. Would you like to meet your new baby sibling?"

The girls nodded fiercely and grabbed Jim's hands. Together, with the nurse, the three of them walked to Kate's room. Just before they reached the door, Jim stopped and squatted down in front of his granddaughters.

"This is it! You are a big sister again, Lex! And Liv, you are now a big sister too! You girls have been so patient and helpful and I just know you are both going to be great big sisters to our new baby."

The girls beamed at Jim's praise. They were so excited they could hardly stand still.

"And I want you to know, that no matter how much everyone loves this baby, no matter how much they coo and hold him or her, no matter how many times they say the new baby is the cutest thing ever, you were both here first. Your mommy, daddy, and I love you exactly the same as we always have. Just because the new baby is here, doesn't mean that _that_ will change. Do you girls understand?"

They both nodded.

"Okay then, let's go meet Baby Castle!" The girls squealed with excitement as Jim opened the door.

Kate was sitting up in the hospital bed, looking more radiant than ever. She hardly looked as though she'd just labored for over 24 hours. Rick was glowing too, and an excited buzz ran through his body, making him giddy and fidgety. They both heard the door open and turned to look at their guests. The faces lit up as their girls and Jim walked in.

Castle leaped up from the bed and met the girls as they let go of Jim's hands and stepped forward. He kneeled down in front of them and stroked each of their faces. His smile was so big, it looked as though it would jump off his face and run across the room.

"Hi my sweet girls. The baby is here! Come see!" He stood up and gave each of them a gently nudge.

As their dad moved, the girls laid eyes on their new sibling for the first time. Kate held the baby in one arm, gently running her index finger across its face. The baby was in a blue and pink striped hat, swaddled in a white blanket. No indication of its gender. Kate smiled and reached out her free hand to the girls, encouraging them over to the bed. They both climbed gingerly onto the bed and peered over Kate's arm to their tiny new sibling.

"Girls, meet the baby, Finnley Nathaniel Castle?" Kate's voice was soft and dreamy. Her eyes were swimming with love and happiness.

"YAY! I _told_ you the baby is a boy!" Olivia gloated and reached out to touch her new brother.

"Oh wait; can you girls please wash your hands with soap and warm water before you touch him?"

Kate wasn't one of those germaphobic mothers, but her son was literally only minutes old. She wanted him to have a while longer on earth before a barrage of germs descended on him.

Olivia jumped up and rushed to the sink. Alexis lingered for a second, looking somewhat apprehensively at her new brother. She smiled shyly and then got up to wash her hands. As soon as Olivia finished, she climbed back onto the bed and put her face near her new brother.

"Can I call him Finn?" Olivia reached out to touch his soft cheek.

"Yes, I like that nickname!" Kate watched Olivia's wonder.

"He is so tiny." Her voice was soft and wispy, like cotton candy.

"And _beautiful._" Olivia was truly in awe. She knew she was going to have a brother, and that she was going to love him. But she had not expected to be so captured by him.

"Mommy, if I'm really careful, can I hold him?" Kate nodded and looked up to Rick to assist. He had just finished handing Alexis paper towels to dry her hands. He walked over to the bed and helped Olivia get situated. He lifted Finnley from Kate's hands and placed him softly into Olivia's cradled arms.

The girls had taken a "big sister" class, to prepare them for having a newborn in their home. Even with their training, Kate had never anticipated that Olivia would be so good with Finnley. She was the picture of gentleness, holding him gently and caressing his cheek as though it were the most fragile thing in the world.

Alexis came to stand by the bed, leaning against Kate's shoulder. Kate smiled at her and wrapped her arm around Alexis' shoulders. Alexis smiled an uneasy smile and nervously picked at her fingernails.

"Lex, do you wanna hold him?" Although Olivia's excitement was contagious, it did not rub off on Alexis.

"Nah, you go ahead. I'm going to sit with mommy."

Rick looked at Alexis, and then at Kate. He gave Kate a measured look and then shifted his eyes back to Alexis.

"Are you sure, Lex? I know he looks tiny and breakable, but he's strong. You won't hurt him if you're really gentle."

"No thanks." Alexis got down from the bed and crossed the room to the empty chair by the door.

Jim had been standing at the foot of the bed, and looked worriedly at Alexis. She had her head buried in her knees and was not making any noise. He glanced at Rick and Kate, who both shrugged.

"Katie, can I hold him?" Jim asked quietly. She smiled and nodded.

"Sure, as long as we can pry him out of Liv's hands!" Everyone in the room laughed…except for Alexis.

Olivia reluctantly let Rick pass Finnley to Jim. Jim admired his grandson, elated that he finally had one. He loved his granddaughters, but he'd always longed for a little boy to take fishing and to baseball games. He knew he could take his girls, but unlike their mother, they were too girly for that kind of thing. They preferred the ballet, going to museums, and such.

"Oh Katie, he's beautiful!"

"Isn't he though?" Jim could only nod.

After a while, a nurse came in and told them that visiting hours had been over for an hour, but that she'd made an exception so that the girls could meet their new brother. Jim gathered all of the stuff that he'd brought for the girls. Alexis was more than ready to leave, and quickly helped Jim clean up. Olivia had to be dragged out the door; she did _not_ want to leave her new brother or parents. Kate and Rick kissed their girls and hugged Jim, and in a few minutes, they were gone.

"Kate, he's perfect! I knew he'd be gorgeous with you for a mom, but I had no idea how absolutely perfect he'd be." Kate nodded.

"I think we are all a little surprised by him!"

"Are you talking about Lex?" Kate nodded.

"She talked about having another sister for my entire pregnancy. I think she was convinced Finn would be a girl."

"Do you think she's disappointed?" Rick looked concerned.

"No, but she's surprised. It will take her some time to get used to him. She isn't as comfortable with change as Liv is. I think she'll be hesitant about him for a while." Rick nodded his agreement.

"I don't want to worry about that right now. I just want to look at our boy."

"Our boy! We have a boy, Rick!"

Kate and Rick looked down at the child they'd created together. He had a perfect face, proportionate and soft, with sweet chubby cheeks. He had soft brown eyebrows that sat over perfectly green eyes. Kate was startled by how clear they were. Babies usually have muddy eyes when they are born, that define in color as they age. Finnley's matched hers and Olivia's in color, but lacked the gold flecks that theirs had. His eyes were clear, and bright, with just a faint ring around the iris. Finnley had dark brown hair that waved gently across his forehead. He had a long, slender nose, just like his daddy, and an unusually defined jawline for a newborn. His fingers were long and soft. His arms and legs were long, but strong. At just over 7 pounds, Finnley was skinny for his 22 inches of height. His skin was olive, and unmarred with any spots that are typical for a newborn. Overall, he was striking, and truly very beautiful.

"I cannot believe how perfect he is. And that he's ours!" Kate's voice was giddy, but Castle could hear the fatigue creeping in.

"Why don't you feed him and then we'll call the nurse. She can take him to the nursery for the night, so you can get some sleep."

"NO!" Kate almost shrieked.

"No, he stays with us in the room. I am a cop; I know what happens when you send your baby to the nursery so that you can sleep." Rick rolled his eyes.

"Kate, I'm a cop too. He will be fine! You need to sleep."

"No, Rick. He will not be fine. He'll be switched with another baby. The nurse won't pay enough attention and he'll suffocate. The ceiling will crumble and he will be crushed. Or his crib will be left in the hall and he'll disappear forever." Tears spilled onto Kate's cheeks.

"You're famous. We both work for the most successful investigation unit in New York City. There are so many people that may be out to hurt us. It will kill me if anything happens to him, just because I wanted to get a few hours of sleep." Kate's hands clutched at Finnley's blanket, and Rick's hand.

"No, Rick. He stays with us."

Rick was taken aback. He realized that Kate wasn't just being a paranoid mother. She'd actually worked cases where each of those things had happened to other people's babies. She was right about people who might want to hurt them. They were _really _ good at their jobs. He nodded and hugged her tightly to his chest.

"Okay, Kate. He'll stay. But please let me take care of him tonight if he wakes up, so you can get some sleep, okay?" Kate nodded, feeling comforted in the fact that their child would not leave their presence.

"But what if he needs to eat? I'm breastfeeding."

"Oh, right. Well, I'll get him changed and comfortable again and only wake you if I have to, okay?" Kate nodded as Rick took Finnley out of her arms. Before he'd even settled himself in the comfy chair next to the bed, Kate was asleep.

"Say goodnight to your mommy, Finn!" Rick reached over and brushed Kate's face with his fingertips.

"I love you, Kate."

He looked back down at his newborn son.

"And I love you, Finn."

Rick fell asleep, gazing at his new pride and joy.

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><p><strong>AN:** Thoughts? Reactions? Questions? Suggestions? Review please!


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